The question of a Christian staying single and what the Bible says about believers never marrying is often misunderstood. Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 7:7-8: “I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am.” Notice that he says some have the gift of singleness and some the gift of marriage. Although it seems that nearly everyone marries, it is not necessarily God’s will for everyone. Paul, for example, did not have to worry about the extra problems and stresses that come with marriage and/or family. He devoted his entire life to spreading the Word of God. He would not have been such a useful messenger if he had been married.
On the other hand, some people do better as a team, serving God as a couple and a family. Both kinds of people are equally important. It is not a sin to remain single, even for your entire life. The most important thing in life is not finding a mate and having children, but serving God. We should educate ourselves on the Word of God by reading our Bibles and praying. If we ask God to reveal Himself to us, He will respond (Matthew 7:7), and if we ask Him to use us to fulfill His good works, He will do that as well. “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will” (Romans 12:2).
Jesus addressed the issue of singleness in Matthew 19:11–12: “Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others—and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.” According to Jesus, some people have been given the gift of singleness in order to better serve the Lord in some capacity. Those “who can accept this” choose to forego marriage and remain celibate. This corresponds with Paul’s reference to those who serve the Lord in their unmarried state in 1 Corinthians 7.
Singleness should not be viewed as a curse or an indication that there is “something wrong” with the single man or woman. While most people marry, and while the Bible seems to indicate that it is God’s will for most people to marry, a single Christian is in no sense a “second class” Christian. As 1 Corinthians 7 indicates, singleness is, if anything, a higher calling. As with everything else in life, we should ask God for wisdom (James 1:5) concerning marriage. Following God’s plan, whether that be marriage or singleness, will result in the productivity and joy that God desires for us.
What can we learn from what the Bible says about Jesus and women?
Jesus and women
In a day when women were considered second-class, Jesus shattered prejudices and elevated the status of women to unprecedented heights. That value equalization continued with His apostles. Peter warned husbands that, unless they treated their wives with respect, recognizing that women are co-heirs with them in all God promised, their prayers would be hindered (1 Peter 3:7). Paul wrote, “There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus” (Galatians 3:28). The apostles did not learn the value of women from their culture. They learned it from their Master, Jesus. And Jesus treated women with the same love and respect with which He treated men.
Jesus’ elevation of women began before He was even born. In God’s divine plan, He had chosen a woman to begin His process of redeeming mankind. God sent His angel Gabriel to a young woman in the town of Nazareth with the good news that she would be the mother of God’s Son (Luke 1:26–38). Gabriel’s first words to Mary were, “Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you.” God first entrusted a woman with the most important message the world has ever received: the long-awaited Messiah was on His way.
When Jesus was only eight days old, the Holy Spirit revealed His identity to a woman, Anna (Luke 2:36–38). So before Jesus was even old enough to declare anyone’s value, God the Father was already at work revealing His heart to His faithful daughters. When Jesus began His earthly ministry, women flocked to hear Him teach, and some even supported Him financially (Matthew 27:55; Mark 15:41; Luke 8:2–3).
What was it about this Teacher that drew both men and women? Jesus was completely without prejudice. He loved every human being regardless of race, ethnicity, occupation, background, or gender. He treated them equally and included several women among His closest friends (Luke 10:38–39; 24:10; John 11:5). The fact that women are called by name in the Bible is significant. In a culture where women could not own property or testify in court, a woman’s opinion or her presence at an event was not even worth mentioning. The New Testament shatters those social norms by including the names of many women and the specific roles they played in furthering God’s kingdom.
Jesus broke down more cultural barriers when He took a detour through Samaria. There, He had an encounter with an immoral woman (John 4:4–26). The fact that she was a Samaritan was enough to bar her from any conversation with a self-respecting Jew, but, to make matters worse in the disciples’ eyes, she was a woman (verse 27). As they watched, their Master transformed that woman and through her impacted an entire city with His message of hope and redemption (verses 39–41).
Another time, an immoral woman was paraded before Jesus by Jewish leaders hoping to entrap Him (John 8:2–11). They demanded that Jesus give His opinion on the punishment she should receive for her adultery. They considered this an easy win since the law required the death penalty (Leviticus 20:10; Deuteronomy 22:22). If Jesus took the woman’s side, He was negating the law. If He took her accusers’ side, He was negating all He had ever taught about forgiveness (see Mark 2:15–17). Either way, they figured, they had Jesus cornered. Jesus turned the tables on them and dealt with their self-righteousness, forcing them to inspect their own lives first: “Let him who is without sin cast the first stone,” He said (John 8:7). Again in this case, Jesus used the example of a woman to teach an important lesson about equality in God’s eyes. We are all sinners, men and women. None of us have the right to pass final judgment on another while hiding our own similar actions (see Romans 2:1–3).
Women were last to leave the place of Jesus’ crucifixion and first at the empty tomb (Matthew 27:61; 28:1), indicating that the transforming power of Jesus had given the women courage and boldness to follow Him openly. In a marvelous display of the women’s faith and God’s approval, those women became the world’s first witnesses of the resurrection (Matthew 28:8).
In all His interactions with women, Jesus treated them with dignity, compassion, and respect. In so doing, He countered the prevailing notions of the day concerning women and their place in society. When Jesus calls a man or a woman to follow Him, He transforms them into new creatures (2 Corinthians 5:17). Old prejudices and stereotypes no longer define us. Christians are united by one Spirit (Ephesians 4:5), and we are to view each other as brothers and sisters in the family of God. God never pretends that men and women are the same, but Jesus’ life indicated that He valued both equally. Both sexes make unique contributions to the family and to the church, and both should work together for the advancement of all.
"Singleness should not be viewed as a curse or an indication that there is “something wrong” with the single man or woman."
I slightly disagree with that view, but it's ok. In my case, I think, life would be easier if I was married. Maybe I'm wrong, but I do see marriage as a good goal. It's just like owning a house. You don't have to have a house. You can live in a tent. Fewer responsibilities...
But owning a house makes life easier and more convenient. Sure, it also brings expenses such as electric bill and water bill and internet bill and maintenance and various other bills you never thought existed. Lol But it sure is nice to sleep in an air conditioned room in a comfy bed. It's better than sleeping in a tent with mosquitoes and sweat running all over your body and getting a rash. And in the winter, getting a flu in a tent is no fun.
And then of course, I'm reminded of the wise sayings of the internet for example, this one: "Money can't buy you happiness." Yeah, sure, tell that to a person who lives in a tent. Chances are he is living in a tent not because he wants to, but because that's all he can afford...
