#1) How can you tell if a woman is able to be led?
That's a tough question. My knee-jerk answer is that she isn't bull-head stubborn but I don't think that is necessarily true. I suppose a good answer is if she is willing to ask advice of others and not try to take everything upon herself. Honestly, I don't know.
#2) What are the things you do to exhibit your ability to lead?
Ever heard the phrase "lead by example"? I try to be respectful of the people around me, keep a level head, be a good steward of my gifts, be courageous in stepping up when it is needed and no one else seems to be, and admit when I make mistakes. I hope that answers the question.
My children and I live with a Christian couple we have known for many years. Their names are Rick and Daniella.
Rick manages group homes for CPS, orphan and refugee children, and his wife Daniella worked with mothers and their children in a domestic violence shelter until recently when they had their first baby - a perfect little girl ;) My kids and I have been a part of their lives since before they were married, and we've been blessed by being a part of their journey as God has led them.
Again and again, Daniella has been "able" to "receive" her husbands leading because she has not enriched herself with the ways and thoughts of this world. She is tender, somewhat shy, and has very much been preserved by God for her husband, who is a rich man indeed.
Is her husband always right? I don't think he has been :winksmile: . Has Daniella always thought he's right? Nope. But has God blessed Daniella for following her husband's lead? - Yes! And in incredible ways.
There are many capable women - much like the Rich Young Ruler who was also very capable. But when it comes to following Christ in His simplicity, they, like the Rich Young Ruler, are unable to do so because they've become rich inwardly in the form of their own thoughts, developed apart from Christ.
#1) How can you tell if a woman is able to be led?
All women can be led. It just takes stronger, more experienced leaders to lead certain women.
#2) What are the things you do to exhibit your ability to lead?
The best thing you can do is actually lead. That's no help to a lot of people though, so I suggest breaking it down like business leadership. What is the current "culture" of your relationship? What are the needs of the woman you are trying to lead? When thinking about a specific task/problem (and always address specifics one at a time, not generalities all at once), how strong is her competence, and how strong is her commitment? Finally, what is your relational history like, and how much trust exists? When you've addressed these questions, you'll be much better able to figure out what the best course of action is with the woman.
"All women can be led. It just takes stronger, more experienced leaders to lead certain women."
One of the few times, I find my self in total disagreement, with you here, brother Tulip.
Men no matter how strong or experienced cannot lead women who have permanently given themselves over to radical militant lesbianism.
Romans 1:26-27 Discuses this woman, and gay men in detail. Paul says God gives them over to their sins, and their minds become reprobate or depraved. It also says they are full of every wickedness but less focus on a few specifics:
haters, strife, deceit and malice, quarreling, insolent, arrogant and boastful.
Such a woman, I submit, could never be lead of a man.
These women let gender preference prevent them from being lead by a husband, but more critical is the fact that they have seared their conscience, and now have a having their conscience seared with a hot iron, they cannot feel anything. They walk in sin, cannot even feel it.
Such woman can never be led by a man, if they cannot be led by God.
Please allow me one more passage from the word of God.
"Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils:
Speaking lies in hypocrisy: having their conscience seared with a hot iron:
Forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from meats, which God hath created to be received with thanksgiving of them which believe and know the truth."
1st Timothy 4:1-3
They have rejected the Creator, and follow Mother Nature or Gaia worship, are quite often Vegans (from the terms vegetarian pagans) and now condemn meat eaters and/or have also reformed Christ into someone who now approves of this lesbian lifestyle.
You may be shocked at how many self-professing Christian churches have embraced homosexuality and lesbianism as accepted practices, and even allow such people into church leadership.
They follow a different Jesus, and a different gospel. They will not repent of their lifestyle, and must believe a different gospel. Worshiping a God of their own imagination.
As always being online is different than in person. But either way the ability to be led is not always something that appears on the surface immediately. But I think takes time to get to know someone. In many ways I equate it with teachability if someone is teachable in other words willing to seek advice, seek opinion and shows that they value the opinions and council of others particularly those in authority or who are knowledgeable. Does she respect her parents authority/opinions, her pastors, and most of all God's authority. To me a teachable spirit shows humility, respect, and in my opinion that makes a woman able to be led. The opposite of that is prideful, disrespecting, and stubborn. A person who is always right, always knows better than everyone, etc is someone who will not be led.
#2 I think that while we should want a woman who is able to be led, we need to be worthy of that level of respect and honor. You wouldn't follow the lead of someone you don't trust, don't respect, and now is not worthy to be followed. So leadership isn't just giving instruction, and guiding, and taking control. It is living and walking in a way worthy of being followed. And that means for a Christian first and foremost being an example by following Christ the perfect leader. If a guy is not following Christ he will not lead you in the way of righteousness but will lead you in his own ways, worldly ways, or his version of Christianity mixed with his ideas and God's ideas which is no faith at all. So what a woman of God should look for in a guy his relationship with Christ, if he's not following Christ, you don't want to be following him.
#1) What actions/habits/etc. do you see in a man that makes you feel he would be a husbandly leader?
Husbandly: Shows real interest in my life/day/wellbeing. Shows a willingness to share his thoughts/concerns/opinions/desires with me (within appropriate measure). Basically, he must show that he is willing to have a REAL and PERSONAL one-on-one relationship with me.
Leader: First of all, I must feel that I can admire or respect the relationship he keeps with God. Does he live with Faith, Love, Hope, Honor, and Integrity? But once I am reassured with that, I need to know that he will not compromise in areas that he values most. The important thing to know here is that he tries to take action or stand his ground, depending on what life throws at him. He is willing to gently correct his "neighbors" or just be ready to help them. In this he shows God's Love and Incentive.
#2) What are the things you do to exhibit your ability to submit?
I actually haven't had a lot of experience in submitting in a romantic relationship, but I try to hold my tongue. That is the hardest part for me, because when I am trying to submit to ANYONE'S will, I feel the urge to comment. In some cases, to defend my actions/views, in others, to go back to telling them what to do (i.e. leading). I think it is difficult for anyone to submit authority over their lives to another, and we all tend to try to find ways to keep a little bit of that power for ourselves.
If I am truly submitting to another's will, I will speak carefully and sometimes even go above and beyond the object of his/her order/request/expectation. I try to show that I trust what this person is doing.
