Author	Thread: A few simple questions for the men... :)
Jewels133 View Profile History	A few simple questions for the men... :) Posted : 17 Apr, 2011 02:19 PM I am kinda shy and a little old fashioned when it comes to dating and all the "rules". I don't like to make the first move and I don't chase after a guy if I'm interested in him, because I'm not the creepy stalker type. I won't throw myself at a guy. It's just not...me. I was always taught if a man is really interested in you, he will let you know. So here's the question: How can a classy girl show interest in a man without him thinking badly of her? Do men still prefer to be the one to make the first move, and pursue the woman? AND I met a gentleman on here. He showed some interest in me and asked if we could be friends on Facebook too. He sent a few emails on Facebook, and asked me some questions about myself, and then refused to respond back to any of my attempts to get to know him better. (I sent one email asking him a few basic questions about himself, and one more just telling him about my weekend and asking him how his was.) He has sent two emails since then, but refuses to answer my questions. It seems like he won't volunteer any information about himself, and I can't figure out why. If he was so interested in me, why won't he let me get to know him better? Is this some guy mind game or something? Post Reply
Gourd00 View Profile History	A few simple questions for the men... :) Posted : 17 Apr, 2011 02:39 PM Well, do you view their profiles? Sometimes if you have your settings so people can tell when you view their profiles, then they see that you did and click on your profile to view your's. If you have listed that you like the guy to make the first move, then he would probably realize why you didn't message him after looking at his profile. As for the whole first move/initiative thing, I would feel honored (if I was looking) if a woman made the first move. It shows I was valuable enough in her eyes to be pursued, to be wanted. And as for that guy you friended, I would maybe send him one more message with a question about himself, and if he doesn't respond, I would get rid of him as a friend and then tell him why after. If you tell him before he might try to make a few moves to cover the real reasons he might be hiding himself, which could just make things more complicated. Too many creepers in the world to be overly-trusting. Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	A few simple questions for the men... :) Posted : 17 Apr, 2011 04:08 PM One of the problems with online dating is that it's tough to equate what goes on here to what goes on in normal dating. The simple fact is, there's thousands and thousands of women on here. If you see a guy's profile you like, go ahead and message him. You don't like getting winks, so why would he? You won't come off as a creepy stalker or like you're throwing yourself at him either. Men rarely get responses to their messages, so when a woman likes our profile enough to message us, it's even more exciting. If you take the time to write the kind of message you'd want to respond to, you'll see a lot of success at it. When the woman messages first, the likelihood of the two meeting is something like ten times that of when the man messages first. Sure not every guy will message you back, but you'll be a lot more successful than guys hoping that one out of every 30-50 messages gets responded to. It's not like sending the first message means you're doing the pursuing either. It's just like being at a super crowded party and starting a conversation with a guy you happen to be next to in the drink line. The guy can still lead the relationship, pursue you, and actually make his move. All you did is say hi. As far as this guy goes, there isn't really a formula with these things. If warning bells are really going off, you don't have to keep talking to him. When two people don't click, they don't click. If you want to keep trying, keep trying. Just be careful. Post Reply
View Profile History	A few simple questions for the men... :) Posted : 17 Apr, 2011 11:04 PM If you've seriously made attempts to ask questions that he's ignored, that seems a bit odd to me - as in, for him to be able to ignore you is somewhat of a bold statement. It could possibly tell you a little about who he is, especially if he hasn't taken the time to address his reason for not responding to your questions. As to your other question, Try sending a guy your interested in, a question about a particular verse in scripture. Check out his relationship with God. If more people would start there (with THE most important thing of all), it would save them soooo much time and energy! :toomuch: Post Reply
Jewels133 View Profile History	A few simple questions for the men... :) Posted : 18 Apr, 2011 12:00 AM Thanks for your help everyone... It turns out the guy in question was already involved with someone on this site. She and I happened to meet in the chat rooms. He lead me on by allowing me to think he was interested in me, and lied to her about talking to me for the last month when she asked him about it. I don't know what will happen between them, but I've removed him from my friends list. I don't want to be anyones second, third or twentieth choice. He doesn't seem to think anything he did is wrong...which leads me to believe he's got some serious issues with arrogance, and pride, and some deep denial about how his actions effect others. I'm just glad I learned all this before I got more involved with him. Post Reply
View Profile History	A few simple questions for the men... :) Posted : 18 Apr, 2011 08:10 AM There are no rules. N-O-N-E. Those who say there are, are either some one with good intentions and want to sound like an expert at best or far more often to make $ off of your desperation by selling books, magazines, seminars, websites, etc., or it's just stuff on forums regurgitated from said sources. I say just go for what you want in life and don't think somebody else knows how to do that better than you do, because you're the one who knows best about what you really want and how to get it, not some stranger. Post Reply
View Profile History	A few simple questions for the men... :) Posted : 18 Apr, 2011 06:30 PM First of all,I'm glad you've ended that "friendship" as you've put it,cause he don't sound like a true Christian to me being dishonest & all.Second of all,I just want to say slow it down a bit.What I mean is that it's best to make a friendship with him on here first,before adding him as a friend on FB.Do'nt get me wrong,I've made friends with some great people from here on CDFF on Facebook also,but if it's a possibly that I'm interested on here,that's different because a guy who you maybe interested in here may think that you really wants be in a relationship with him very quickly (I'm not saying that all guys think the same way,'cause I'm one too of course!lolbut be careful with making that move) On the topic though,I like the "first move" thing myself & rarely like answer girls who text me ,BBM me & gives me a message on FB first & don't wait for me to message them first which makes me wonder "what are they up to"?sometimes & I can't help but feel Anoyed (just like I know that's how you girls feel about that too) At the same time,there's nothing wrong with messaging a guy who you're interested in first,but give him some time to respond to them just the same way you want that from us guys too.There's nothing With a lady asking guys questions,it's just how You do it that's makes it questionable.I had met a lot of girls who used to asked me certain personal questions ,but never answered mine which I'd then later found out that they had only asking to find out how much money I work for etc. Also,I have never gotten a lot ladies friends on here that messages me first,but as long as they respond to mind,I can live with it! :laugh: Post Reply