Author	Thread: CUT OFF YOUR FEMALE FRIENDS!!!??!!!!!!!!
HolyGhostGirl View Profile History	CUT OFF YOUR FEMALE FRIENDS!!!??!!!!!!!! Posted : 9 Apr, 2011 08:33 AM I have some QUESTIONS today. Answer one, answer all, just answer...pretty please :glow: If a woman and a man are dating and are contemplating marriage, should he cut off communication with his female friend(s) if his girlfriend is uncomfortable with him having her/them around? (If, of course, she cut off her male friends, as well). Why don't men appreciate boundaries? (They call them rules, I call them boundaries).:winksmile: If a woman wants a man to call her EVERY DAY, and vice versa, how is that a problem? (Assuming the two of them don't see each other everyday, they work all week long, or whatever, what's the problem with picking up the phone EVERY SINGLE DAY? I always like to say, people can die in a day. Anything can happen in a day, and if you claim you really love someone and find a great deal of interest in them, why would you let a whole day pass by without calling?) Post Reply
View Profile History	CUT OFF YOUR FEMALE FRIENDS!!!??!!!!!!!! Posted : 9 Apr, 2011 09:01 AM To answer your first question I think once married that men should cut off all realationships with women friends. Although I don`t think men and women can just be friends. Anyways. Thats for another topic, "why can`t men and women just be friends." To answer yoiur last question with today`s instant communicxation you think it woiuld be easierto contact each other every day. It`s not like it was 15 years ago when you had to actually pick up trhe phone, dial, and actually speak to someone. Post Reply
riveroflife1 View Profile History	CUT OFF YOUR FEMALE FRIENDS!!!??!!!!!!!! Posted : 9 Apr, 2011 09:16 AM HGG, yah I hear you...it used to bother me. It's like, you know that someone is wanting to talk to you at least at the end of the day, pick up the phone to say goodnight! Every person has different needs and if you need more, it's a good indication that frustration is in your future. Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	CUT OFF YOUR FEMALE FRIENDS!!!??!!!!!!!! Posted : 9 Apr, 2011 09:29 AM Demanding that a guy cease all contact with his female friends for the time that he's dating you doesn't sound like boundaries. It sounds like you're jealous and insecure. I have very few female friends, but if a girl really tried to get me to cut off all contact with them, she'd get the boot faster than I could put my shoes on. As far as talking on the phone every day, sometimes people get busy. When you're around people pretty much all day, you don't always get a chance to get away and chat on the phone. Why do you need him to call you every single day, especially early in the relationship? Post Reply
stegoodie View Profile History	CUT OFF YOUR FEMALE FRIENDS!!!??!!!!!!!! Posted : 9 Apr, 2011 11:32 AM I'm with Tulip on the first question. As for boundaries, I think it depends. I think a lot of men have their own set of rules/boundaries. If those boundaries/rules have worked just fine in the past, why I change to a different set that the significant other came up with? Why can't the boundaries/rules be stated and the significant other understand that those are the rules/boundaries I operate by? For question three, I'd invoke the old saying "absence makes the heart grow fonder." I don't know about you but not a lot new and interesting happens every day in my life so if I talk on the phone to the same person several times a week, it gets old saying the same things every time. I'd rather have an hour long quality conversation once a week than several mindless conversations throughout the week. Post Reply
skinnywhiteboy View Profile History	CUT OFF YOUR FEMALE FRIENDS!!!??!!!!!!!! Posted : 9 Apr, 2011 01:32 PM I don't think I could be with someone who demanded I call them every single day. For me it's simply an issue of space, and I like lots of it. I also would not cut out my female friends, because there are females in my church, and female friends of my family who would be devastated if I told them goodbye. They'd be people I'd like to introduce my wife to, not trade for her. And as far as my woman saying another woman has to go, and she's willing to ditch her male friends is very cold towards these people's feelings, and seems to open the door to a lot of "game-playing" imo. If you're willing to ditch male friends just cause you met a guy, why even have these guy friends in the first place? Post Reply
Gourd00 View Profile History	CUT OFF YOUR FEMALE FRIENDS!!!??!!!!!!!! Posted : 9 Apr, 2011 02:41 PM Cutting off all of one's friends of the opposite sex isn't healthy; it's a sign of a lack of trust if the future spouse is trying to push it. We're called to be grown-ups, and while a lot of guys in the world don't act like grown-ups, it doesn't mean we get rid of something that's good simply because we assume something bad might happen. Two- A lot of guys who call themselves Christians aren't Christians. Many guys are looking for sex, and they will also be willing to lie to you in order to get it. In my opinion, people who are dating shouldn't even be making out, because that's like "hey, we're being physically intimate...but we are only going so far." It's right on the border that encourages people to go further, and then you have women and sometimes even men wondering why the other person kept trying to go further. Three- Calling every day is being legalistic. I don't think demands should be made here at all. Requests can be made, but if the person just isn't up to your standards, find someone else. I doubt you would like someone else trying to force you into doing stuff that you may not have the energy for or what to do; it's the same way with other people as well. Post Reply
View Profile History	CUT OFF YOUR FEMALE FRIENDS!!!??!!!!!!!! Posted : 10 Apr, 2011 06:47 AM Tulip took the words right outta my mouth! Post Reply
riveroflife1 View Profile History	CUT OFF YOUR FEMALE FRIENDS!!!??!!!!!!!! Posted : 10 Apr, 2011 08:32 AM WOMEN ARE COMMUNICATORS :laugh: dont ask us...ask God, He made us this way...besides, how are we supposed to build a relationship if we hardly talk? We want you to want to know about us, guys, at least pretend to be interested, lol- no just kidding, dont pretend..if you find you really dont want to know about her, then she isnt for you. as far as cutting off the female friends, I dont care about that...he can keep them :) believe me, I have male friends and I would not want to ask them to quit calling or hanging out with me. NOW, if we got serious, then of course I would stop hanging out, but not initially. I get in more trouble with my girlfriends anyway, lol - and I also think it has to do with age or maturity the way we view things like this. We are just wired differently than men. Post Reply
View Profile History	CUT OFF YOUR FEMALE FRIENDS!!!??!!!!!!!! Posted : 11 Apr, 2011 08:43 PM Yeah, but men wind down, not by talking, but by being by themselves. We want to know more about our ladies, but we also need time to ourselves. It's how we cope with the day. Post Reply
View Profile History	CUT OFF YOUR FEMALE FRIENDS!!!??!!!!!!!! Posted : 11 Apr, 2011 11:46 PM HolyGhostGirl, Since you are contemplating marriage, he should not be hanging out with other women. Let him show you he is a one-woman-man. If he does not appreciate your boundaries (hopefully they are they are scriptural), then you might have to lose him. If he does not respect you now, he won't when you're married. If you want to talk daily then he should honor that wish. I find it unbelievable that someone contemplating marriage would not want to talk daily, and even more often than that! Quad Post Reply

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