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Roles reversed?
Posted : 2 Apr, 2011 12:23 PM

I have a friend who is engaged and I asked her fiance' if he had a problem with her ministry flourishing as in her ministry is more prominent than his own. He told me the bible said that women submit to their husbands so she would have to hang back for his own. Someone please explain this to me because I'm noticing a trend here in ppl applying scripture for their own gain.

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Posted : 2 Apr, 2011 12:57 PM

Not a guy, but am going to try and answer this.



My question is this, what about women who are in the ministry and their husbands are not? Does that mean they should not be used by God full time, since their husbands are not.



We are all called by God to be used for his purpose. Some are called into full-time service, others are used in the secular world. No ministry is more important than another. How God uses each person and in what manner is HIS decision, not man's.

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Posted : 2 Apr, 2011 01:20 PM

It is amazing how the curse of Genesis 3 is cherished and embraced, even turned into a virtue by many modern Christian women.

"I'm noticing a trend here in ppl applying" - (ignoring) - "scripture for their own gain."

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Posted : 2 Apr, 2011 01:33 PM

Actually i have no problem with submission, none at all. Neither am I an ultra feminist who wishes to downplay men and the roles they play in relationships. I have to wonder about the term submission and what it means to some ppl. Submission does not mean do as I say or else. I have encountered some men who have approached this subject with a bit of bias and i pray that they seek God about it and not what is man's wisdom. There are many female ministers and sometimes you don't even see their spouse but what my friend's fiance' was telling me is that she has to subjective to his alone because submission is in the bible. this is what has me confused. I want to submit to the priest of my home as a man hearing and submitting to the word of God not an egoist.

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Posted : 2 Apr, 2011 02:16 PM

Although I basically agree with your last post, however, lets ask the hard questions. Are you saying you will only follow the Bible if you judge your husband worthy, flawless and his decisions, interpretations and feelings about things agree with yours?

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Posted : 2 Apr, 2011 02:37 PM

I think it is important to keep in mind that our obedience to God's Word is not contingent upon who else around us is or is not obeying. So, the bottom line really is that the wife needs to submit.



If your friend feels that her fiance is making decisions that do not honour the Lord, and that he is incapable of leading her (and their future family) Biblically, then she shouldn't marry him. Or, if it's that she doesn't have a submissive spirit, then she shouldn't be marrying anyone until she works that out.



Husbands and wives won't always agree... That's partly how submission comes into play... Disagreement with one's husband is not carte blanche to not submit. Your friend's fiance may very well have good reasons for needing his future wife to be less involved in ministry (even if it's only for a season). Perhaps he wants to have children with her and feels that she will need that time to properly care for the children. Or, as her husband's helper, maybe he needs help with some stuff and wants his wife to fulfill her role with that. I can think of many valid reasons why a husband would need to tell his wife to be less involved in a particular ministry.



This is something that couples really ought to talk about... probably even before they get engaged... Part of how I assess a guy's leadership ability is by asking questions on topics such as this... asking him what exactly he expects his future wife to do and not do. If there are huge disagreements there, then I wouldn't continue on with the relationship. I would not say, "Oh, this is not someone I would submit to, but I like him anyway, so we'll just continue, and, if we get married, I just won't submit."

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Posted : 2 Apr, 2011 04:20 PM

Look out pixy....I'm on the verge of sendng another wink!

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Posted : 2 Apr, 2011 04:39 PM

Ha!



Let me just also add: If a woman truly wants to be independent and have her own ministry without interference from a husband, then I do not think that she should be seeking to get married. In marriage, the wife becomes her husband's helper. Helping him takes precedence over whatever ministry she has going on. How can the two even truly become one when she wants to lead a separate life, off doing her own thing? That's not a marriage; that's cohabitation.

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Posted : 2 Apr, 2011 04:52 PM

That did it, pushed me over the edge, I'm sending you wink!

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Posted : 2 Apr, 2011 07:08 PM

Can I be the chaperone? I know I barely qualify as an "Adult", but I am very watchful! I won't let you two get into any trouble.

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IaoKim

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Posted : 2 Apr, 2011 07:18 PM

I'm not doubting your abilities MsMarvel, but I believe it will take more than one chaperone to keep those two out of trouble . . . :buddies:

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