Well.....I have a little different opinion of what a man is supposed to be. I think a man is SUPPOSED to be the leader (and his being a leader would, of necessity, mean the woman was the follower), but that is not a popular opinion. It has been my experience that if a man is willing to be a man, the woman is more than happy to be a woman.
The problem is that in today's society, we are taught that we are to lead as a team. If you believe that, you better get your Bible out and start reading. The man is responsible for his family. He is to LEAD, not submit, or take a vote! He is the one that will be held accountable to God. If your marriage fails, the man is responsible, if your children get in trouble with the law, he is to blame, if you can't pay your bills, he is at fault.
Does this give the man the right to be mean or abusive....of course not! He is to lovingly guide and direct his family throughout the course of his life. As with any TRUE leader, he is to lead by example. A man is many things, but one thing the Bible is very, very clear about.....he is to be head of the woman as Christ is head of the church.
That is one of the reasons that, when I am looking through profiles, if I see the word independent, I just move on. Those women don't want a husband in the biblical sense, they want to be a man. Sorry, that job is mine and I embrace it.
I love having a woman that needs me. That is my purpose here on earth, providing and protecting my family. I am not saying that a woman can't do it, just that she should never have to. I love doing things for my family, but I want a WIFE, not a partner, I am not gay! A partner is what gay men have. Wives are what Christian men have.
I know, I am about to get flooded with hate mail, but, oh well, if nothing else I am honest. Please don't think I hate women, I adore them, especially if they are not afraid to be a woman.
I know this is supposed to be "ask a guy" forum, but I really like this question! And so far I like both of the answers for the most part.
I also believe that the man is supposed to be the head of the family. I believe that man and woman both have their roles (which are both very important and honorable) to fill within the family.
As a divorced mother of two, who provides the only income and home my children will ever know, I can tell you right now that I am tired. I would appreciate what ever man God chooses to send into my life that would be willing to help bear this and be a strong Christian leader for my home.
I think though, that this subject is passed over way to much in bible studies. Men really don' know what their "Christian" role is within the family - nor do women for that matter.
(Please don't think I'm saying woman belong in the home, barefoot and pregnant either. LOL I'm not at all saying that.)
I think the world has distorted the word "submit" and now it is seen, I believe, in a totally different way than what God meant in the Bible. To "submit" isn't supposed to necessarily be an admittance of weakness or of lesser value. Nor is to "serve".
Jesus washed the feet of His disciples.
I think stepping up to the plate and being the leader of your family is the greatest call of SERVICE you can have.
And welcome. You are right on the money, in my opinion.
I read a woman's profile the other day, where she said she was looking for her help mate. It just doesn't work that way. She was in a ministry of some kind, and this amazed me. I would expect it of someone who doesn't know the Bible, but that is a direct reversal of roles.
The submit thing can get confusing, but we have to remember that the husband will be held responsible for every problem in the home. As such, he would need to have the final say in matters. That does not give him the right to be a dictator. He needs to work with his wife in these areas, coming to an agreeable solution if at all possible.
However, I have not seen many women that are not willing to submit to a good Godly man. I think the problems are with abuse on both sides.
I really like your take on this, especially where you said, "I believe his wife should know at ALL times he is the one person on THIS earth that she can run to and feel totally safe."
God should ALWAYS be the head of the household, and we should look to Him daily whenever we make decisions; however, He is not physically with us every day telling us verbally what we should do, so who has He placed in the household to lead the family? Why, the husband.
I will admit, being a bit younger than many on this site, and not ever having been married before, I am still trying to grapple with the view that men are the only one responsible for the wellbeing of the family and are to take the blame/responsibility for whatever goes wrong. By virtue, when a man and woman are married, they are meant to work together to support one another. And by saying that women shouldn't be held responsible when things go wrong may be seen as the man trying to shelter her from the hurt OR in another way by completely discrediting her and her role in the household. I know it sounds like I'm putting a lot back on women's shoulders that you men are graciously trying to remove; however women are real people with real minds who make real mistakes. And I have no problem seeing women take responsibility for their own actions.
Wow, I sound like a feminist, but truly I'm not. I would love a guy to open doors for me. :) I really got off on a tangent, and I apologize.
