Author	Thread: BEST FRIENDS?
Admin	BEST FRIENDS? Posted : 9 Mar, 2011 05:07 PM Can a girl or guy have or be best friends with a person of the opposite sex? Wouldn't it be hard to discuss certain things best friends discuss if it were with another gender? Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	BEST FRIENDS? Posted : 9 Mar, 2011 06:20 PM Yes and no. (Don't you just love those ambiguous answers? :goofball: ) Let me explain. One of my closest friends is a guy who I met on this site in the summer of 2009. We are not dating, and never have dated. We've only met in person once, as we live several hundred miles apart. Most of our chatting happens on Facebook, though neither of us has any problem picking up the phone and calling or texting if we want to talk but can't get to FB. For the most part, we talk about anything and everything. I'd usually rather talk to him than most of my other friends. But even as close as we are, there are things we can't talk about because he's a guy and I'm a girl. That is where my girl friends come in. My best friends are my two sisters. We talk about literally everything, including those things that I can't talk about with a guy...or even some other girl friends, for that matter. Other than my sisters, I have two or three other very close girl friends. We tell each other everything, share our deepest and darkest secrets (well, within reason!), share our struggles, pray for each other, and keep each others' secrets. So, yes you can have very close friends of the opposite sex, but that very BEST friend should probably be the same sex as you...or you should at least have someone you can talk to about those things that are "off limits" with that opposite sex friend. Did that make sense at all? Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	BEST FRIENDS? Posted : 9 Mar, 2011 08:43 PM Only if it's long distance. I have two close female friends. One lives in Washington and the other lives in Florida. Neither one of these relationships can go past being friends because we live so far apart. I'm actually fairly certain that the one in Washington sort of has a crush on me. I kind of sort of have a crush on her too, but 2500 miles and her being Muslim have their way of making sure I don't do anything about it. If they aren't long distance, significant time around each other just tends to lead at least one person into developing romantic feelings for their friend and one person having no interest in dating their friend. It just doesn't work in the long run. Post Reply
paschen81 View Profile History	BEST FRIENDS? Posted : 9 Mar, 2011 08:44 PM I agree with bcpianogirl's response... however, I would like to add that there is one instance in which a girl and a guy can be best friends in every sense... and that is within a marriage. Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	BEST FRIENDS? Posted : 10 Mar, 2011 03:52 PM Paschen81, you are absolutely right! And I do agree with what Tulip said about opposite-sex close friendships working best if they are long distance. That's the only way that I can be such close friends with my guy friend. Post Reply
View Profile History	BEST FRIENDS? Posted : 10 Mar, 2011 04:32 PM I agree with all three of you. I was a little suprised just now when I checked this thread 'cause I was expecting the opposite response. When Harry Met Sally (the movie) is what prompted me to ask the question. lol Thanks for your replys. Post Reply
riveroflife1 View Profile History	BEST FRIENDS? Posted : 14 Mar, 2011 09:46 PM I think it's possible..:glow: Post Reply
Gourd00 View Profile History	BEST FRIENDS? Posted : 17 Mar, 2011 10:20 AM Yes a girl and a guy can be best friends. There aren't enough people in the world who believe this, imo, and too often it leads one person to believing that either the relationship has to become romantic or that it has to end. It's a horrible setup, and it's because they don't have enough faith to believe that two people of the opposite sex can be just close human beings. And as for awkward conversations, I don't think there has to be any. Why should we be afraid to talk about topics that matter to a friend? It's alll just part of life and reality. Guys really can handle walking down the feminine product aisle; they just need to grow up. Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	BEST FRIENDS? Posted : 17 Mar, 2011 02:51 PM Gourd00, I don't know about the other people on here, but when I mentioned that I can't talk about some topics with a close guy friend, I didn't mean topics having to do with the feminine products isle! I was thinking more along the lines of the family planning isle... Also, there are other topics dealing with deep emotions, feelings, sins, etc. that shouldn't be discussed with a member of the opposite sex no matter how close you are to that person (unless you are married to that person, of course!). Too much of that can cause the people involved to fall into emotional intimacy, which could lead elsewhere. It's just not wise. Think about it: would a guy who struggles with lust or porn feel comfortable confessing that to a close female friend? I doubt it. But he could confide in a close guy friend and receive understanding, support, and prayer without risking further sin just within the act of confession. I do agree that guys and girls are just human beings, and friendships shouldn't always be expected to turn out romantically or not at all. However, guys and girls are also "wired" differently...it's called hormones, and those hormones can really cause some havoc in a friendship! Not saying that's a good or bad thing, just simply saying it! Post Reply
Gourd00 View Profile History	BEST FRIENDS? Posted : 17 Mar, 2011 06:30 PM While many people do have trouble having close friendships with the opposite sex, and a lot of people do need to be careful about boundaries, I don't think this is because of wiring. I think it's because the world is so emotionally draining, and has squat for examples of amazing friendships and marriages, that people "fall in love" with friends because that emotional closeness is something they haven't experienced in other places, which they should have. And so they assume "this must be love," when it was never meant to be marriage. As well, when someone makes us feel good, it's all too easy for our bodies to start to long for that person again, even in other ways including sexual, because we are using them like an item simply to make ourselves feel better. If the world wasn't so emotionally draining, if work so often didn't stink, if friends weren't scarce, and if people didn't have to work just to pay the bills just to work some more, I think having opposite sex best friends would be accomplished quite a bit more often. But the world isn't like that, and so people "fall in love" with their friends when they shouldn't be. But it doesn't mean it's not possible, it just means it takes people of wisdom to walk out a close friendship like that. It's like saying "Well people shouldn't get married because the divorce rate is over 50%" or something. It doesn't mean lasting marriages aren't possible; whatever the divorce rate is is merely a sign of the times. It doesn't tell people what the truth is; it tells people the current state of society. Post Reply
lolo505 View Profile History	BEST FRIENDS? Posted : 24 Mar, 2011 09:04 PM I agree. It would be hard to date a girl who had another guy as a best friend. I would really be skeptic. But if I know that our feelings are true, I would accept the fact of the other guy. Post Reply