Author	Thread: Why do you disappear?
aporia View Profile History	Why do you disappear? Posted : 27 Dec, 2010 11:05 AM I'm just curious from a man's perspective - I've been finding the men I date online for years, usually on secular sites and was super happy to find this one because finding someone of a similar faith is the number one pre-requisite in my book. I'm running into a new situation that seems to be becoming a trend. You email back and forth many times with someone that seems genuinely interested in getting to know you and then they just stop. I guess in past experience and with me personally, I have always emailed men I'm conversing with to let them know if I have met someone else and vice versa, wish them luck and say goodbye. So, if you have pulled the disappearing act, why did you do? Thanks in advance for your answers! Post Reply
stormcountry33 View Profile History	Why do you disappear? Posted : 27 Dec, 2010 12:13 PM I don't think I have ever pulled the disappearing actu but I would think that it could be related to becoming scared of where teh relationship is going...perhaps they are wanting a relationship but not sure what to do with one...and so when they realize that what they have is becoming a relationship they panic and turn tail...the other reason may just be that in time and discussions...something was said or done to, in a sense, reverse their interest in you and not knowing what was the best thing to do they simply figured that if they backed away then you you come to understand that they no longer were interested...just a few thoughts.. Post Reply
Onidaren View Profile History	Why do you disappear? Posted : 27 Dec, 2010 12:22 PM In a situation like what you are talking about, especially if he's shown you how he feels emotionally on any subject... If you are sure he is deliberately ignoring your messages, it's probably because there is something he should be telling you, and he decided not to. That is definitely not ok, but remember it is his problem and not yours. There are some situations where it is easier and more considerate to just end communication, than to explain why you are not interested any more. It's a judgment call. Plus, some guys just don't know how to explain, and they end up worse off when they try. But personally, I agree with you that guys should take a direct approach, especially in relationships. Post Reply
View Profile History	Why do you disappear? Posted : 27 Dec, 2010 12:57 PM aporia, I've never disappeared on anyone I was talking to online; but have no idea why some guys do it. the possibilities stormcountry listed make sense. Chin up! Your next e-mail might be Mr. Right. Or maybe he's not online--- is this the only place you meet guys to date? Just asking:glow: chevy Post Reply
aporia View Profile History	Why do you disappear? Posted : 27 Dec, 2010 01:14 PM I guess I should clarify that I would never consider anything online an actual relationship unless I met them in person because you can click writing and talking on the phone, meet in person and nothing's there. Ugh, I wish I could meet people other than online but I work out of my house and most of my friends moved so unless I meet someone at the gym, church or the grocery store my options are pretty limited. Post Reply
rainbowian View Profile History	Why do you disappear? Posted : 27 Dec, 2010 02:56 PM It might be that they are unsure of how to continue the conversation. After a little bit, they run out of things to say. Post Reply
View Profile History	Why do you disappear? Posted : 27 Dec, 2010 03:53 PM The man is on Flashing Mirror Mountain Range and the Women is on Smoke Signal Mountian Range. During the online relationship the man travels south and the woman travels north communicating via smoke signals and light flashes across the 'Valley of Put Up or Shut Up'. Neither has to deal with the less desirable aspects of a relationship, ie : reality and responsibility. Someone will eventually have to come down off their mountian descend into the valley of 'put up or shut up' and climb the others mountians ie : ex-spouses, step kids, home, job, expenses in time and money for traveling across the valley. Sometimes it is just easier to talk to someonelse, especially if you weren't real sure to begin with. Post Reply
View Profile History	Why do you disappear? Posted : 27 Dec, 2010 05:22 PM You're disapointed? I was just writting to someone and thought we were doing ok, nothing spectacular, but ok. She just deleted her account here. Oh well, she has my personal email address if she wants to contact me. Wish her the best. Post Reply
View Profile History	Why do you disappear? Posted : 27 Dec, 2010 05:40 PM See that aporia--- girls do it too. Hang in there Cobbler--- maybe she'll e-mail. aporia meet Cobbler:hearts: Cobbler meet aporia:hearts: You two nice folks have a little something in common. Check each other out and if anything comes of it you can thank little ole matchmaker me. just kidding? chevy Post Reply
aporia View Profile History	Why do you disappear? Posted : 27 Dec, 2010 07:39 PM No worries, I'm starting to think it's just that everyone lives so far away it becomes pointless (for those of us with strong roots to our areas). Probably going to join the secular site again since we usually meet face to face after a couple of conversations - and there are Christian men there too :) Post Reply
View Profile History	Why do you disappear? Posted : 28 Dec, 2010 04:35 AM That is one of the problems when you get something free of charge, you don't value it as much. If people had to pay on this site, I think they would put a little more effort into pursuing relationships. But, if we did have to pay, I would expect a lot more of this site. In spite of all the users registered here, they are spread out a lot. There are very few people near me, so I really don't get a chance to meet face to face with them. That is a bit frustrating. Post Reply

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