Author	Thread: The "S" Word w/ Your Fiance
Admin	The "S" Word w/ Your Fiance Posted : 20 Dec, 2010 06:45 PM Hey Christian Guys, would you discuss with your fianc�e what you like and dislike sexually? Why or Why Not? Post Reply
View Profile History	The "S" Word w/ Your Fiance Posted : 20 Dec, 2010 07:19 PM why? hahahaa,so She knows whats up... Post Reply
View Profile History	The "S" Word w/ Your Fiance Posted : 20 Dec, 2010 07:41 PM When it came time, absolutely. Probably before the engagement. Only because there are extremes on both ends of this topic, Like ranging from being too freaky to remaining celibate that might make me rethink the relationship. Post Reply
View Profile History	The "S" Word w/ Your Fiance Posted : 20 Dec, 2010 07:45 PM ummmm ok rephrasing the question: Christian guys who have never had sex with and haven't talked with their fianc�e about what you like or dislike sexually, would you have that discussion with her? Why? or Why Not? Pretty much looking for a YES or NO with an explanation Thx Post Reply
View Profile History	The "S" Word w/ Your Fiance Posted : 20 Dec, 2010 07:47 PM Thanks so far for all those who answered.. I appreciate it.. Post Reply
View Profile History	The "S" Word w/ Your Fiance Posted : 20 Dec, 2010 08:24 PM No. I feel that is something that should probably be discussed after marriage unless done in an appropiate matter before hand if you are actually concerned with what your husband wants. A marriage is based upon love and respect, not sex. If that is all a marriage is based upon that is worthless. You will be wasting each others time. Be concerned that you are each truly following God, and I believe everything will fall into it's place under His guidance. Post Reply
View Profile History	The "S" Word w/ Your Fiance Posted : 20 Dec, 2010 09:20 PM I agree and disagree with what has been said (what else is new?). I agree with the Chuck in that it is something that should be at the very least �broached�. While not going into specifics (one or both side may be disappointed after the wedding�this is part of two becoming one), there should be some kind of understanding as to what would be expected �in bed�. I disagree with �flat� that it should be discussed After the wedding�while I do agree that marriage is more than just sex�I firmly believe that it is a essential and a vital aspect of one�s affection and Love. If physical attraction was not vital or necessary than we could just have �arranged marriages�. I would think that a woman would want to know what her future husband expects from her in relationship to sex and that she would want to know this Before she got married. Post Reply
View Profile History	The "S" Word w/ Your Fiance Posted : 20 Dec, 2010 09:27 PM Yes, I think I would. I think it might be nice to know what to expect. I think there would be a time and place for this conversation sometime. I don't think it matters if it is before or after the engagement but it should be before marriage. Thunder ( the reindeer sage) Post Reply
View Profile History	The "S" Word w/ Your Fiance Posted : 20 Dec, 2010 09:58 PM As a woman I would want to know what pleases my husband and would want him to know what pleases me.. I think most would agree or atleast 99.9% that marriage is not based on sex.. but that the expressing of each others love through sex is important in a marriage to most people.. In my experience in talking with married couples and/ or married individuals especially Christian.. it is not discussed, before hand.. and most dangerously not discussed after the fact... for fear of hurting one's feelings, taboo topic, element of surprise, etc. When one is not sexually satisfied in a marriage because the other has not expressed their likes and dislikes it can leave room for infidelity, anger, bitterness, porn addiction, depression and other things.. I feel that a conversation should take place and like ARCH said you don't have to get in to specifics or explicit... For those who are not virgins you must also take in consideration that the way your ex Susie or Johnnie did "that thing" most likely is not how your future wife/husband will do "that thing"... whatever "that thing" may be.. some go into the bedroom, or bathroom or kitchen, lol with false hopes and expectations which is not a good thing... As for virgins marrying someone not a virgin a conversation must be had as well.. not all but some allow movie love scenes or advice from others to dictate the "right way" to make love... not realizing that everyone is different... I will definitely have the conversation before I get married.. and if after I get married there's something I like or dislike I will make it known at the proper time.. In my opinion this helps make for a more healthy and fulfilling sex life.. which can also happen without prior conversation, bu I prefer to have the conversation... Post Reply
View Profile History	The "S" Word w/ Your Fiance Posted : 21 Dec, 2010 03:22 AM There is a good book on this subject called �Getting Your Sex Life Off to a Great Start� by Joyce and Cliff Penner. It is written from a Christian perspective, and is covers topics such as talking to each other about sex before marriage. Post Reply
DontHitThatMark View Profile History	The "S" Word w/ Your Fiance Posted : 21 Dec, 2010 07:46 AM Yes, I definitely would, and I think it should be brought out before engagement. It would be kind of awkward if you asked/were asked to be married and then you found out something that you couldn't live with. :peace::peace: Post Reply

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