Author	Thread: weight issue
auntiebecca View Profile History	weight issue Posted : 7 Sep, 2008 09:01 PM Ok, so I am overweight. I am working on it. Considering a gastric bypass. All my life my dad told me if I don't look good I won't get a husband. So I haven't put myself out there. Sure, I have liked my share of men, but I have been overly cautious. I don't put myself out there at church because I don't want them to reject me, so I don't step out. I don't know know to change. It's been this way for so long. I am more comfortable talking when people can't look at me for what I look like. I believe I am fun to be around because I am easy going and love to laugh. Is it possible for guys to see me for me, and not for the fat body? Post Reply
kidvid711 View Profile History	weight issue Posted : 8 Sep, 2008 01:51 PM Alright, just to let you know, that I never get involve with this type of stuff and I am not fully sure how it is like. But this is what I think. If you truly know a guy's heart, and he truly knows your. Things should be okay, unless you have a bit of competition. We all have desires. Be considerate and see if both sides meet those desires. Remember, the human heart can be deceitful :) *Another guy taught me* "Also it is more to it than that. It all depends how you approach a guy. Also depends what you say to. If you don't reach a certain understand or you approached him wrong. It most likely not going to work. The first presentation is always the last." Post Reply
auntiebecca View Profile History	weight issue Posted : 8 Sep, 2008 04:16 PM that makes sense. Ok, so is weight a big issue for you men out there? Post Reply
View Profile History	weight issue Posted : 9 Sep, 2008 08:35 PM I think it depends on the situation. I think many guys out there want to date someone that is close to their body type in certain ways. It would make sense that by doing so would enable more common interest with each other. I think it matters more in the early stages than later on in a relationship. For me personally I think weight is a factor for someone I'm looking to spend the rest of my life with. I'm a very active person, and want the same in my life partner. That's not to say that in 6 weeks I could be injured and not be active at all. We all know this, but as long as dreaming is allowed then we should dream. You should never be worried about rejection. You know who you are. You know there is someone out there for you. You just have to work through the crowd until you find your true love. It's a process we ALL go through, but few talk about. I don't care how good looking or not so good looking you are; someone out there has rejected you. Just remember you are looking for the love of your life; please tell me you are willing to work a bit to get that. Please understand that your weight is not the reason you haven't found love. Your fear of failure is greater than your desire for love. When you change that which is in your mind, your heart will be ready. 93% of women have a low self esteem. That is insane. Of the 7 remaining percent 5% is overweight according to national health standards guide. So there are 2% of women that are secure, and not overweight..... Wow. Now most of you are reading this saying, yep I'm insecure because of blah, blah, blah... insert reason. Ladies, I hate to break it to you, but this isn't the guys fault here. You ladies pretend to think what men want is what advertisers offer, but it's you ladies that compete for the illusion of perfection with the body. If you really knew us guys (most of us); we are looking love and respect, not perfection!!!!!!!!! Do you understand that we don't want perfection!!!!!!!!! because if we had it we would feel unworthy of it. We just want to feel important, and respected. In closing I will say this. I do believe that what you come to the table with you should try to maintain. If I'm in shape working out, and looking my best to win you over, then it is my job to continue that because that is the package I offered unto you. That goes both ways ladies and gentlemen. Looking at the divorce rate in America please understand that there is no "well I hooked her, so it's done now" No sir, marriage is just the beginning of the work. You should date your wife or husband for the rest of your life. Take care all, and God bless. Post Reply
DevotedMale View Profile History	weight issue Posted : 21 Sep, 2008 01:22 PM i really think its about the person, this isn't a man or woman situation, this is what people like, you may like a big 4x4 truck all jacked up and i may like a smaller lowerd street truck lol its all about likes, i know men who simply adore larger women, i know women who love short men lol humans like what they like be patient Post Reply
auntiebecca View Profile History	weight issue Posted : 24 Sep, 2008 08:24 PM Thanks guys for your honest answers! That's what I want-no beating around the bush, but straight talk about this subject. Post Reply
View Profile History	weight issue Posted : 25 Sep, 2008 03:30 AM Gosh.. where to start with addressing this one. Let's look at some facts: Beauty in the year 2008 has been ultimately defined by the media, with an anthropomorphic existentialist(secular humanist) mindset rather then a theocentric mindset.. this simply means that this fallen world with the adversary backing it up is trying to get anyone who will be *fooled* into believing that starving yourself to be a 105 lbs feather in the wind is what is healthy. Long ago, woman with meat on their bones were considered very healthy and very desirable in the eros sense. It only seemed to changed when pornography became so available to fixate so many on the flesh, or temporal. My friend has had the gastric bypass surgery done.. it made me so sad because she was so beautiful EXACTLY the way God designed her. Today, she is stick thin with sagging skin all over and her hormones fluctuate around like mad. Sis, you have a beautiful heart... a real man of God will see that and be drawn to it. Don't be fooled by the devil that 105lbs is perfect and healthy.. another one here said a gem of truth.. some of us desire physically active partners for life.. being physically active regularly gives you more energy, improves muscle tone and definition, and the chemicals released in your brain naturally make you a more sound, healthy person overall. Have a great day sis, God bless your precious heart!! Brian :waving: Post Reply
View Profile History	weight issue Posted : 8 Oct, 2008 12:21 AM This is a hard topic for me to broach, but I'm going to attempt saying my two bits. When I married my former husband, I was 25, young and attractive. Over time, I felt like he only wanted me for my body, and often treated me terribly (verbally abusive), but still wanted to fool around. I think subconsciously I began to eat to fill the holes in my life, and to keep him away! I knew that he wouldn't be as attracted to me if I gained weight. It wasn't really intentional, but it is a vicious cycle. Now, I feel that the right man will love me for who I am and not for the way I look. It is hard for us to be self confident when we don't feel we look our best, but for me, I am not willing to put a lot of energy into making my body more attractive, and meet another shallow man, who wants me because I am physically attractive. I don't know if that is the right approach, but that's how I feel at this point in my life. I think there are a lot of shallow people out there who do want the woman with the perfect figure, but the gems who will give us a chance are the ones that we want anyways! Post Reply
mlthomas View Profile History	weight issue Posted : 17 Nov, 2008 10:01 PM christine1967 The only problem I think concern me with your answer is YOU PUT ON YOUR WEIGHT SO YOUR HUSBAND WOULD NOT BE ATTRACTED TO YOU ANY MORE yes your husband was not faithful but you have to love yourself. putting on weight is more then an physical attraction but your HEALTH your body belong to GOD it is not yours to treat any kind of way.God have a purpose and a plan for your life and he need your body to flow through.Look at it this way I stay health so I could fulfill the will of God for my life.You are that same attracted person because the real you is a spirit. So join a gym and start eating things that add to you health and not take it away you may SAY but Michael I have developed a habit of eating when I am not hungry and my answer to that is do not neglect yourself just choose the right thing to eat.you can enjoy and get full off the right things and the weight will take care of it self.:peace: Post Reply
emeraldblu View Profile History	weight issue Posted : 12 Mar, 2009 07:06 AM wow,im average to thin and i cant get a date or find a mate,because it goes the other way around for me,to be blunt,the men i talk to just want one thing from me,so i remain alone,so the flesh makes no difference,its all in the mind IMHO, I try and see things threw the eyes of the lord,I wish other people would as well,God bless you,Sincerely Cynthia Post Reply
emeraldblu View Profile History	weight issue Posted : 20 Apr, 2009 03:18 PM I agree with you Kudos for you! lol Post Reply

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