Author	Thread: How often do two people who meet online need to communicate??
rhead81 View Profile History	How often do two people who meet online need to communicate?? Posted : 6 Dec, 2010 06:52 PM Any ideas or suggestions are very much accepted. Thank you! Post Reply
SilverFire View Profile History	How often do two people who meet online need to communicate?? Posted : 6 Dec, 2010 06:57 PM I'd say the needs of the two people drive it. Some need more communication than others. The stage of the relationship is also important -- are you just getting to know each other (if so, once every few days is ok)? Are you in a committed relationship? If so, once a day is probably not enough. Post Reply
rhead81 View Profile History	How often do two people who meet online need to communicate?? Posted : 6 Dec, 2010 07:14 PM Well, we are communicating for 3 months now. Before, it was almost everyday, texting and IM's. But recently, it wasn't the way it used to and he explained his reasons. Is it normal for a guy to change that although he said his feelings doesn't changed and it becomes stronger? Im just confused. Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	How often do two people who meet online need to communicate?? Posted : 6 Dec, 2010 08:18 PM I've only dated one guy who I met online. We communicated pretty much every day via either phone, email, IM, or in person (we went on about one date per week because we lived a good little ways apart). After three months, the communication slowed to a trickle. I didn't think much about it at the time, but now I look back and wonder if he was tiring of the relationship. He broke up with me shortly after that. Another guy that I met online was definitely more of a conversationalist. We exchanged a few emails on this site during the first week, then used the IM feature about 2-3 times per week for another month after that. Then we moved to Facebook for easier chatting. For a long time, we talked nearly every evening, usually for a couple hours at a time. We haven't always kept up such frequent conversations, but we've been friends for well over a year now (we "met" online in August of 2009, and met in person this past summer), and we still talk several times per week. We are only friends, and we've not dated each other, but the only way we have to stay in touch is through the internet and phone. I think our friendship probably isn't too normal, though. Oh, I should probably mention that we live about 15-16 hours apart. That doesn't really answer your question, does it? I think the answer is: it depends on the two people. Personally, though, if I were in a relationship where communication had been regular and frequent, and suddenly that level of communication was no longer important to the other person, I'd be concerned for the health of the relationship. Post Reply
View Profile History	How often do two people who meet online need to communicate?? Posted : 6 Dec, 2010 08:30 PM What reasons did he give for changing the frequency of communication? My gut instinct would to be concerned, but it does depend upon his reasons. For me, I like to talk frequently with a guy I'm interested in. Emails once to twice a day are great. After about 2-3 weeks of online communication, then I like to progress to the telephone. Talking every few days for 2-4 hours at a time works well for me. Emailing in between those conversations is appreciated. Meeting after 3-4 months (or even before) is appropriate. I definitely would need to talk to the object of my affection at least once a day. Post Reply
View Profile History	How often do two people who meet online need to communicate?? Posted : 6 Dec, 2010 08:34 PM Oh, and Facebook is great, because then you get more of a glimpse into the other person's world and it enables you to share links and whatnot easily. Post Reply
View Profile History	How often do two people who meet online need to communicate?? Posted : 7 Dec, 2010 06:49 AM Well it sounds like you already know something is off. You can either wait around for him to come around or you can say what you feel and ask how he feels. Post Reply
View Profile History	How often do two people who meet online need to communicate?? Posted : 7 Dec, 2010 07:08 AM I would pose the general question if it is possible to start running out of things to talk about after a while of just being online communications? I am guessing that a large percent of our conversation topics may come from being together and doing things together. If that is not present, because you do not live near each other and can not do things together, well then there may just not be as much to talk about after a while? Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	How often do two people who meet online need to communicate?? Posted : 7 Dec, 2010 08:23 AM Shawn, I definitely think you are on to something there. I've talked to a lot of guys online, and most of the conversations died very quickly if meeting wasn't either 1) practical, or 2) desired. We asked each other the usual questions, gave the usual answers, and then ran out of things to talk about. I didn't have that problem with the guy I did date, because we met so soon after our online "meeting". We were able to keep up with each others daily lives, find things we had in common, etc. That's also why I said that perhaps my other friendship is so unusual. We talked for nearly a year before we met in person, and rarely ran out of things to talk about. We have an insane amount in common (not just our interests, but our values, lifestyle, political beliefs, theological standpoints, etc.), and we frequently find new things to discuss. When we met in person, it was only for two short hours, but we talked non-stop. We could have talked for several more hours and never ran out of things to say. Plus, he doesn't have any sisters, and I don't have any brothers, so we sort of use each other as a sounding board. We're always asking each other things like "Why do girls/guys do such-and-such...it makes NO sense to me!" To the original poster: have you met this guy in person? Can you think of any reasons that communication might have slowed? For example, is he in college and in the middle of finals right now, or has his work load been unusually heavy lately? Obviously, we can't really tell you what's going on; all we can do is share our own experiences and preferences. Best of luck, and keep us posted! Post Reply
rhead81 View Profile History	How often do two people who meet online need to communicate?? Posted : 7 Dec, 2010 08:52 AM Wow! thank you very much for all the ideas shared.. To give a clear picture, actually, he is from USA and we haven't meet in person yet although he said he had plans to visit me early part of 2011. We have known each other for 3 months. We just chatted here once or twice and then we communicate on facebook and instant messenger almost everyday. There is even a time we chatted for 9 hours! exaggerated huh but it was my first time spending that long hours for chatting and v.v.. It was abnormal though. After that, we still communicate around 2-3 hours almost everyday. But recently(1-2 weeks ago), he told me that its not necessary to communicate everyday so that we will miss each other more and we have lot of things to talk to when we chat. And he needs to do some other personal things and need to not stay that late because of his new job schedule. So that he could be a more responsible person. And i make him too overwhelmed and thats what he did to me too. He even told me his feelings are getting stronger, but how come our communication is lesser? Does it mean he is avoiding me or something? Or he just needs an air to breathe but his feelings are still there? Do i need to wait for him to first initiate contact? Any suggestions? Thanks to all!! Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	How often do two people who meet online need to communicate?? Posted : 7 Dec, 2010 09:32 AM 2-3 hours a day is a pretty serious time commitment. I think he may be telling the truth. Try messaging/skyping him less often and see how things go. Also consider not talking for as long when you do talk. I think it will help things. Then again, if he starts acting sketchy, something might actually be up. Post Reply

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