The wife should submit and likewise to the husband. It means to give authority over. Since it is equally in both sides. The husband and wife have to become one flesh and agree upon one thing.
I guess I struggle with this issue. My father was a minister while I was growing up. To him submission meant he got to move us around from city to city and spend money on whatever he wanted, and my mom would give her opinion and concern but he did what he wanted, and we suffered for it. He didn't do what was best for his family. I see this abused in many marriages. I don't want a marriage like that!
Ha, no worries, my father is the same way :) But much much worst. Right now, my mother is the leader of the house hold. Ever heard of "leaving and Cleaving". Well its backwards for my father. He went back to his mother.
My father always look at the bible the wrong way and do things against God's will. His choices is bringing down the family. So basically my mother ask me and my brothers for our opinion, when we went to a conclusion. That how he ended up like that.
I believe its equal for both woman and man to be submissive. Or the family would end up like mines. Broken, separation,pain and suffering, it kinda feels like the devil won.
My parents recently divorced. My mom is soooo much better without him! He is currently in the Philippines meeting the 22-year old girl he has been talking with! He is 61 and is willing to have more kids. He thinks his new wife won't get tired of doing his every beck and call while he checks out porn and spends money. I am glad you can relate to a father who took 'submission' and gave it their own definition! Aloha!
"Submission" is an ugly scary word to a lot of folks out there, but in reality when acted out in proper biblical context - for example being totally submissive to the Lord and surrendering every thought unto Him.. it is a beautiful thing that HELPS you!
The bible does NOT state a woman is to be used, walked on, treated as garbage, etc. When the bible states a husband is to be the spiritual leader, it does not mean dictator.. and I would be cautious of anyone looking to completely control everything about a woman and what she does in marriage. Mutual submission in marriage should be discussed with any potential lifetime partner, and try to remember in the right biblical context it is a beautiful thing that helps BOTH of you!!!
Being a leader means leading by example rather then "do as I say", this simply means that at the end of any one given day should you and your husband/wife write a list of every single thing you have done for your spouse.. the husbands list should be longer then the wife's, showing Christs love with total self sacrifice to her.. remember we are to be the washer of anothers feet, not be in pursuit of having our own feet washed since that is self focus. Don't let the devil steal your JOY(Jesus, others, you.)
Very well put Beamoflight. I can tell you have a heart for God.
I'm going to step out there and share my heart. I believe that submission is just as it is stated. Yes, the bride is to submit IN ALL CASES to the husband. It's not the wife's place to determine the right or wrong of the husband. The wife makes her choice to marry or not marry the husband. Once that decision is made to marry, then the wife gives it up to God. It's no longer her job to make her husband do or not do things. The wife's new role is to be submissive and support her husband... I know you are not liking this, but please hear me out. We are this way by design. We are naturally different...... We all know it's true. The sad thing is that somewhere along the way people took God out of the marriage. People are soooooo worried about being equal...... What a joke. Equal based on what??? Based on who??? I'm going to go for being happy, and obedient to God instead of being equal. Sorry man, but no matter how hard you work you will never have a child. Enough said. We are NOT equal. We are different. We are supposed to be different, and it's ok. We are so consumed with this earth and society, that we miss the boat. It's all about serving God!! Not being caught up hearing each other roar. I could just see Jesus saying, wait a minute, Peter is of less value than I am so he should be put on the cross and die. I'm TOO IMPORTANT. It's like our country. As we take God out of our country things get worse. Now lets back up. Men/husbands, you have a great responsibility bestowed you in entering into marriage. Yes, your wife is to submit....yeah, you da man; hear your roar.... With all great freedoms comes even greater responsibilities. You are to love your wife as Christ loved the church...hhmmmm um Christ gave his life for the church/sinners. Men if you are willing to give your life for your wife, then anything less than that would be a humble jesture of your love for her; yes, like taking out the trash. Men being the spiritual leaders have tremendous responsibilities; and no it's not the wife's job to remind him of those responsibilities on a daily basis. It's the man's job to seek the approval of God on a daily basis. Just remember men; to be a leader means to be the FIRST to serve others. Ladies you need to pray for your men, and not tell them where they are failing. You made your decision when you chose to marry him, it's all about support now. You can't break the back of an ox and still expect him to plow. Men, when you say I do, you've just entered into a pact with God that you will take personal responsibility for the salvation of your family. That's not something to be taken lightly. Ladies just imagine the power you would instill on our husband when you tell him that NO MATTER WHAT you will be there to support him, and care for him. Men imagine the feeling of responsibility you have when another person chooses to rely on you for their everything. Ladies if you chose a man that truly has a heart for God, then your lives will be blessed beyond imagine.
I guess this question was directed at the guys, but submission is a topic I struggled with as well. When I got married to my former husband, I was so concerned with the topic of submission, that I asked the minister if I could say the same vows as my husband-to-be; vows that did not include the 'ugly' word submission. My parents had a relationship where my mom doted on my dad, and did everything for him. They also had many power struggles. I did not want to become 'the submissive wife'. I tried to wrap my head around the idea that submission was not a bad thing, but couldn't seem to get it.
I now realize that the problem I was having was that I was getting married to the wrong person, and that submitting to him was something I did not want to do (abuse of 'power'). I now understand that if a man has your best interests at heart, and truly loves you as Christ loved the Church, then he would never ask or expect you to do something that wouldn't be good for you, or that you absolutely would not want to do.
I think that the word submission has negative connotations attached to it from our earthly understanding- we think of power, or at least I do.
Submission..an act of obedience born out of love and not
deceit. In a Divinely right and righteous marriage relationship,
this is a beautiful and necessary commitment. When a wife
submits to her husband it enables him to be the MAN GOD
created him to be. In return, it will also allow the wife to shine
at her best in regards to her spiritual role in the marriage.
It should never be a power struggle based on ego, but
but a genuine act of love and respect connected to the
Holy Spirit Power for God's Glory, purpose, and Will.
Men are supposed to be leaders of the household, and by
leaders I don't mean dictators by barking orders and not
taking into consideration their wife's heart, feelings, ideas,
etc. A submissively correct marriage should not resemble
a communist society, but be an expression of God's Love
which is pure, sacred, and special.
Unfortunately, I have heard some twisted but true stories of men using their spiritual authority to make sexual demands on
their wife. That is wrong! May I be blunt...ignorant and very messed up. An improper useage of that power and any guy who does that is not a true MAN of God.
