I find this to be a uncomfortable position to be in, it is difficult to discern what action, if any to take.
In the last 24 hours two people have left the forums listing me as their sole reason. Although I feel I have a pretty good handle on the situation, it is still not to be taken lightly. I understand these are real people with real feelings and more importantly a brother and a sister in the Lord.
It has been said many times on this forum that women want men to lead. On this forum a guy posts that Jesus is not God, posting a number of scriptures to supposedly prove his point. I took the lead and the time to address his 'proof', even reading a website he directed to. I never assaulted him personally but did make.short work of the material he provided. He left.
Then there was a gal who posts in the 'ask a guy' section something to the effect, ' Why men wanted her physically, why aren't guys spiritual?' I checked her profile and the pics were suggestive, red satin and black lace with a very obvious clevage shot. I read what everyone else was writing, some kinda suggested that she maybe...I finally just stated the obvious. She left.
The next was Archimedes. I could not stay silent while old catholic doctrine was preached. All I asked from Arch is keep it to himself or be prepared to defend the catholic doctrine with facts. I could not persuade him to to either. He left
Last but not least is 'Saved'. Our sister did not feel she had the freedom to discuss certian topics, therefore no one else should either. After a bit of fun with a humorous topic post showing that people are going to see what they want, I respected her wishes and posted nothing else on the topic. But it seemed she could not let it go as she kept going on
and the friction increased until she left the forums this morning.
I figure these four people are probably not the only people I may have offended. So here is your chance to express your thoughts and feelings. I will not argue with you. If you feel you deserve a apology let me know, if I agree with you I will apologize. I welcome any and all comments good or bad.
Twosparrows, you have not offended me in any way. While I might think that some topics aren't exactly "appropriate" for public forums, I do have the choice to NOT READ those topics, and I have the choice to NOT PARTICIPATE in those topics.
As for the people you mentioned who have left, I don't remember the first guy you mentioned...perhaps I just never got around to those topics. The first girl you mentioned I do remember. Well. She asked a question, you gave an honest answer that most of the guys were tiptoeing around, and she got offended. I'm sorry that happened, and perhaps you could have been gentler, but I have to say that I agreed with your answer. Her pictures were inappropriate; it was no wonder that guys wanted her physically. She was asking for it.
As for Arch...admit it. You two have been going head-to-head for a while, it would seem. Either of you could have dropped the topic and agreed to disagree. Arguing wasn't going to solve anything on here. About Saved, I think she's going through a lot right now. I don't remember seeing anything where she was raked over the coals, beaten, or bruised (however she put it); I've been out of town for a while and have gotten behind on the forums. However, I do know that I've been the one to feel personally attacked on here, and it's not at all pleasant. It felt like there was no way to really stand up for myself, because no matter what I wrote, it would be taken out of context or taken personally by someone. If Saved was feeling that way, I don't blame her for wanting to leave. When the forums cause more inner turmoil than pleasure, it's time to go...no matter who or what was the cause of that turmoil.
You know who I really miss around here? Pixy and Cobbler. I'm not sure why Cobbler left, other than that he felt like no one would seriously answer his questions. I hope that Pixy will come back once she realizes that the stalker is gone...I miss that girl's contributions to the forums.
I miss her too BCPG!!!!!! (crying) I hope she trys to come back,i did try my best with my thread "Too much drama in the forums" without trying to use her username because of the embarassment.I thought that she was going through a lot lately,so that's why i made that thead to let her know that we're here for her.I was also hoping again that if someone here personally knows her,that she may come back soon by at least next year.
One of the big down sides to a forum like this, is that it is one dimensional. It is all written word. A person can not hear nor convey tone or body language. So even the best of intentions can get misread and taken in a way not intended.
Most of the time in our "real" lives, we generally only interact with others that are "like us". However in a forum like this, we get all kinds tossed into the pot.
We all convey certain personas. From looking at your profile photos, it appears you are a cowboy/rancher type. If I may sterotype from that and from things you have written, I would guess maybe you won't back down from a fight so to speak, or you are going to speak your mind, or call something for what it is. I certainly have no problem with that.
I have seen a lot of profiles on this site where the women are being all cheer leader like, all emotional, sensitive, etc. I could see where a persona like that would clash with yours or take things way out of context.
I had something similar happen to me in a chat room here last week. Simply because I had in my profile at the time I did not want to date a divorced woman, one who was chatting with me read that and got all offended and attacked me. She was apparently crying and I was sitting here asking myself what happened.
I went back earlier and tried to find where the one woman had "been racked over the coals". I couldn't find it. So I'm not sure why those comments got made. I really feel her further comments toward you were way out of line and way dramatic.
I guess my point is that in a forum where there are a lot of different types of people communicating in a one dimensional mode, and possible on a bad day or during a rough time in ones life, things like this are going to happen. I think as long as a person is trying to keep themselves in check and considering how they are interacting, I wouldn't worry about it.
To: Twosparrows,when i first jioned here in Oct.27 of this year,i actually did'nt know about the forums until Nov.03,& when i saw them,i then ENJOYED the humour that you put on the threads! I later then after that,thought that you've gone too far with some replies,that i think that you should think carefully about what you put here for all to see.Hope no hard feelings with the threads i've posted,because i meant you & Saved in "Too Much Drama In These Forums!" because of my concerns between the both of you.My thoughts wre on the new users seeing the arguements which aint nice for them to see here.All respects to you though!:glow::peace:
: the act of deluding : the state of being deluded
2
a : something that is falsely or delusively believed or propagatedb : a persistent false psychotic belief regarding the self or persons or objects outside the self that is maintained despite indisputable evidence to the contrary; also : the abnormal state marked by such beliefs
� de�lu�sion�al adjective
� de�lu�sion�ary adjective
Examples of DELUSION
1. He has delusions about how much MONEY he can make at that job.
2. He is living under the delusion that he is incapable of making mistakes.
3. She is under the delusion that we will finish on time.
4. As the illness progressed, his delusions took over and he had violent outbursts.
Chuck,
I�m glad I came back to read what you�ve posted. I really did not have any Idea how DELUSIONAL you really are! Do you really believe what you say? Do you really think that those people left because �The Righteous Arm of GOD� (read Chuck) smote them!!?? Do you think Saved is leaving because of you? Do you think that I am leaving because of you?
Chuck�you have God�s Ear. You�ve told me several times that you have (The Broadcast type of church). What is God saying to you about this? What does God�s Voice sound like Chuck? What would this site do without you?? Without you and God pointing out all these Sinners? Without you and God pointing out all the ERRORS?
Chuck it was cute when you were five and tied those beer can to the cat�s tail. You�re not five anymore.
(your words)
�The next was Archimedes. I could not stay silent while old catholic doctrine was preached. All I asked from Arch is keep it to himself or be prepared to defend the catholic doctrine with facts. I could not persuade him to to either. He left�
Boy�Where shall I begin �Ole Defender of the Truth�? We began this �feud� when I corrected you when you said something to the effect that �only Priests get to drink the wine� (which is not true). You defended what you said as being true. I asked you in the Forum (and privately) not to make statements that you cannot verify. You continued and justified them by stating that you were a Catholic for 28 years and an Altar Boy and that you knew what you were talking about. I found that I had to defend my Church.
You would counter with half-truths or outright lies, any point I would make and pretty much filibuster and deflect until we would end up off point.
Chuck�believe what you want! You have some on this site that are behind you 100%. There are those that also have a very good idea of who you are and your agenda.
Chuck�think about what you write. We are not children. You fool no one�not even yourself�certainly not God. You write too much on this site to be able to �hide� whom you really are. You get caught by your own half-truths. By your innuendos and �sayings�.
Do I have to monitor this Forum? Just continue as you were and let those that have been disillusioned and disappointed go their own way. No need to propagate any more half-truths.
�The next was Archimedes��
Your six shooter was not even cooled off yet but the �Gunslinger from God� had to attend to that Blasphemer Archie!
�I could not stay silent while old catholic doctrine was preached.�
Of course not! Bad Catholic Church! Bad Doctrine that goes all the way back to what The Apostles ORALLY taught Christians. (How could they Teach something as Important as God�s Commandments ORALLY! And then tell people to �Keep these Traditions�)
�All I asked from Arch is keep it to himself or be prepared to defend the catholic doctrine with facts. I could not persuade him to to either. He left�
Well�there you have it! God�s Right Arm did only what God Told him to do ( Personal and Direct).
I think you're fine Two. I've enjoyed your contributions to the forum.
Regarding the people that left, I saw the thread of the guy who said Jesus wasn't God, and I think you did a good job of confronting him with the truth. It was up to him as to whether or not to accept it. I think it might have been better to try to engage the girl in discussion first, but it was probably a truth she needed to hear. Her response to the effect of, "I'm a model, so it's my job to dress this way, and you need to be accepting of that," was pretty confusing to read.
I wish Arch hadn't left, but at the same time, when he started calling us rebels from the real church and such, he had to expect a push back. As for saved, I read over the recent threads, and can't really figure out why she felt raked over the coals. She did have a tendency to be rather melodramatic though, so perhaps it felt that way to her.
All we can do is try to balance speaking truth and speaking it in love. If people take what we say wrong or misinterpret it, we can't control that. I very much hope you do not decide to leave as well.
I am sorry for how you must be feeling, Sparrow. While I understand that you should leave if you honestly feel like you should, I want you to know that I, for one, have enjoyed some of your posts and while you can be to-the-point, I do not think in most cases you have been harsh. Some people come to these forums without much in the way of coping mechanisms or knowledge of how to handle other people�s opinions. Some people are sensitive or defensive and will find a way to feel victimized that you yourself maybe cannot see. It happens.
It must hurt, but I hope you do not take it too personally. Some people leave saying that they are being victimized when really they could not cope with the fact that other people have different opinions and beliefs. The case with Arch is a bit more extreme, and I do not really know what to make of that.
When I first opened this thread, I thought cool, twosparrows is gonna apologize for his part in creating whatever is hurting to whoever became victim. As I read on, what wasn't cool was the attempt to justify what it was that he was apologizing for. It's as if it is someone else's fault for your actions/reactions that lead to how the words were spoken.
Then Arch comes along with everything we need to know about delusion related to the thread, and I'm thinking we'd all better duck because these two are gonna be spittin' fire.
There's an old saying among Christian discussion boards.... "Attack the argument, not the person". :glow:
Be not rash with thy mouth, and let not thine heart be hasty to utter [any] thing before God: for God [is] in heaven, and thou upon earth: therefore let thy words be few. -Ecclesiastes 5:2
Nah, you're fine. Just keep putting your opinion out there as just that...your opinion. I've seen your brash side a few times with some comments, but not any more(not even close) than anyone else on here(including me). I'm of the opinion that if someone can't handle someone else's opinions about them(true or not), then they probably should not be on an open forum to begin with. This is a place to talk about any and all viewpoints/opinions/topics(within the TOS), and if you don't want to hear remarks or opinions on the things you say, or if you only want to hear pretty things about how everyone agrees with you and thinks you're awesome...then don't post. That said, some people do get nasty, but I don't think you're one of them. So stick around, you and Arch are both following the truth God has given you, and I think you both have had some great things/experience/knowledge to contribute to The Discussion. Arguing is fine. Discussion is fine. Defending beliefs is fine. I do think we all need a big bite from the humble/christian love pie every once in awhile, and maybe this is for us all to learn from. Just have to remember that there's another human that we're supposed to be loving on the other side of the argument.
Sparrow, other than Arch, I have not seen you have a problem with anyone. I do think that both you and Arch were in the wrong and should both publicly apologize to each other and declare a truce. Let bygones be bygones.
As for the others, if they left they left, not because of you but because they chose to leave. It is not your fault if someone can not handle critiscm. Almost everyone on these forums have probably said something to another person that could be considered an attack. Usually, with a few exceptions, they are not meant as attacks. They only turn into attacks when people make them attacks.
