Author	Thread: I would like to know if I am the only guy who thinks like this :
Admin	I would like to know if I am the only guy who thinks like this : Posted : 19 Oct, 2010 10:03 AM I read in many female profiles they pride themselves in being "independent women". As a man ; I like it, no. . Love it when a women feels she can depend on me and wants to. It robs something very valuable from a man and the relationship for a women to take pride in her independence. Are not people in relationships interdependent on each other; relying on each others strengths? Isn't independence the antithesis of relationship? Have I misunderstood? Am I the only guy who thinks like this? If not; do women realize this? (I do realize no one wants a 'needy' mate who can't take care of themselves, so please don't take that vein when answering) Post Reply
View Profile History	I would like to know if I am the only guy who thinks like this : Posted : 19 Oct, 2010 10:26 AM im not a Guy but I agree with you.. Yes im a single lady who has learned to do much by myself but I do not want to and frankly I know that If i have a husband he will bring things to my life that I THOUGHT i could do on my own but I rreally only got by. Just as I know men do not need me to take care of them but I bet they would love it if I did.. wow did that make sense? probably not Post Reply
cowgirl1984 View Profile History	I would like to know if I am the only guy who thinks like this : Posted : 19 Oct, 2010 11:38 AM I know that for a lot of women, including myself, being "dependent" is difficult for any number of reasons. Some men are really controlling, and if a woman has had experience with men who are controlling, often she will assert her independence more once she is out of and over that relationship so that she doesn't go through it again. That is one of my reasons for feeling that way. Another reason might be just simple fear that in not being independent, you will lose your identity when you get married. The list goes on for a while because there are MANY reasons, some more complex than others, but overall I agree that there is a certain degree of interdependency that is very important. But that doesn't come naturally to a lot of women, and it certainly doesn't seem to come naturally to men as far as their pride is concerned, but boy do they like us ladies to take care of them. Laundry, cooking, cleaning, on and on :laugh: Anyway, I don't think it's wrong for a woman to be independent in some ways, but it can definitely be taken too far. It's a balance, and for some people it has to be learned, especially in situations where it is linked with prior bad experiences because then it comes down to at least partially an issue of trust. I hope that makes sense! Post Reply
skinnywhiteboy View Profile History	I would like to know if I am the only guy who thinks like this : Posted : 19 Oct, 2010 12:15 PM I love independent women. Personally, I feel "complete" in my life. I'm working on my relationship with God, and I'm happy in my own company. I'm getting a lot of things done in my life for myself that I might not be doing if I had a lady. I'd like the same thing of my woman: happy in her own company, and focused on God. If her and I are both meeting our life and Godly goals on our own, imagine what we'd be capable of together. I like that it's a choice that is made when both people decide that they WANT to join up as a couple. I personally think of the oxen and the yoke. Two oxen can pull more together than they can individually. Post Reply
View Profile History	I would like to know if I am the only guy who thinks like this : Posted : 19 Oct, 2010 12:52 PM For the sake of discussion : @cowgirl great post but one thing really caught my attention; "afraid to lose your idenity when married" like it is a bad thing? If and when I get married I plan on losing my identity as a independent bachelor ; doing whatever I want whenver I want and spending money however I please. Unless you are willing to lose your identity don't get married ; just make sure you lose it to the right guy and he loses his identity to you. " the two shall become one" @SWB Although I agree with most all you said, it must be pointed out that you never want 2 oxen to pull independently ; that is why they are called a team. If you have ever driven a team you know that for them to each pull independently is two that work against each other or don't help each other. The yoke is as to the oxen as marriage is to a couple; it ties them together so unless they depend on each other it will be difficult for both. Post Reply
springrose10 View Profile History	I would like to know if I am the only guy who thinks like this : Posted : 19 Oct, 2010 02:12 PM Your best option is to ask those ladies what being independent means to them. In the meantime, I had these thoughts: Some women have no intention of taking anyone's advice or compromise on any issues that arise, or making any changes to their lifestyle. These women should not marry. Some women have been in controlling relationships where the men think that they are the dictator (misrepresenting headship) of the marriage. These women are looking for men to value their thoughts, feelings, and talents. Independence to them, is not being relegated to being a housekeeper and breeder. Some women who have been abuse...Cowgirl did a good job of mentioning how their reactions come from the fear of finding themselves in that place again. These women have to develop an ironclad spine just to get out of the marriage. They are hyper-reactive to even the slightest, "let me do that," as an entire life take over. You will have to decide if one of these women is worth the patience it takes to overcome those hurdles. Guess we've been answering why women put that in their profiles, not are you the only guy. The answer to that is, NO!!! Rose Post Reply
View Profile History	I would like to know if I am the only guy who thinks like this : Posted : 19 Oct, 2010 02:30 PM @springrose You are 'Won Wise Wose'! Post Reply
View Profile History	I would like to know if I am the only guy who thinks like this : Posted : 19 Oct, 2010 02:43 PM twosparrows spring rose explained it for me u are right she is 1 wise rose:applause: Post Reply
DEEDEE72 View Profile History	I would like to know if I am the only guy who thinks like this : Posted : 19 Oct, 2010 03:18 PM This is terrible but when I hear independent (in a woman) I think Feminist....I see her beating her chest singing "I am woman hear me roar." Especially when she is always saying it.... Post Reply
springrose10 View Profile History	I would like to know if I am the only guy who thinks like this : Posted : 19 Oct, 2010 03:27 PM Thanks for the translation Val! I thought I was seeing a side of Sparrow I hadn't seen before. Us farm girls don't speak Elmer Fudd. I thought he was calling me a woo...wimp. Sorry Sparrow - see, I should have known better. Smile, Rose Post Reply
Jeremiah21 View Profile History	I would like to know if I am the only guy who thinks like this : Posted : 19 Oct, 2010 03:40 PM Dear TwoSparrows: We are independent because men have not stepped up to the plate in fulfilling their God given responsibilities. Women have had to provide for themselves and their children for years and we have positioned ourselves to accept that daunting task because we are use to eating and having a roof over our heads and I like airconditioning and utilities on and driving my car. I would gladly trade my bring home the bacon, frying it in a pan and never let you forget you are a man position for a man who loves me like Christ loved the church and was willing to lay his life down for me! Sounds like Heaven!!! Post Reply

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