Author	Thread: TO TELL THE TRUTH?
DEEDEE72 View Profile History	TO TELL THE TRUTH? Posted : 18 Oct, 2010 05:03 PM I was listening to the rest of the sermon series on the Song of Solomon. One of his points was as a couple you should have 1 airing out session. Let the person know about your past examples..sextual abuse, jail time, .... Or is your past your past? Would you want to know? http://dbcmedia.org/sermons/love-song-a-study-in-the-song-of-solomon/?st=shopp&s=love%20song Post Reply
View Profile History	TO TELL THE TRUTH? Posted : 18 Oct, 2010 05:33 PM I have two opposite answers depending on circumstances. 1) Before marriage: Yes I would like the chance to know everything but would also want the option to decline the information. The only things that are really important are those things that have a direct impact on our future relationship. Other than that, I just as soon not know. 2) After marriage When the two become one; the past is left behind. The "I's" should have died and there should only be a new creation; a "We". At this point I don't want to know anything so that I can always think the best. Post Reply
View Profile History	TO TELL THE TRUTH? Posted : 18 Oct, 2010 06:58 PM Yes, I would. Post Reply
cowgirl1984 View Profile History	TO TELL THE TRUTH? Posted : 18 Oct, 2010 10:58 PM Yes. If I am going to spend the rest of my life with someone, we both have the right to know each others past, especially sexual past. I mean, if the other person doesn't want to know, I'm not going to force it on them. But, for example, what if the man I want to marry has HIV? Should he have the right to not tell me because the past is the past? What if he had gotten a girl pregnant and knows he has a child but has no contact with this child? Should he have the right to not tell me because the past is the past? And if he has the right to not tell me, what if I contract HIV? Or what if 5 years after we're married his child comes knocking on our door wanting to get to know their dad? You might say, "Well in THOSE cases that's just common sense." But where does common sense begin and end? And what about drugs? If he did LSD in the past and he has a a bad trip, don't I have a right to know why he's tripping? Because LSD lays dormant in your spinal fluid FOR EVER. Even if you only do it once. Or what if he got hepatitis C from IV drugs? Or any other medical condition? If my husband is unconscious and taken to the hospital and they ask me his medical background, shouldn't I have those answers? My point is, we do have the right to know, and SHOULD know, our partner's past. If we choose to not know, that's our business, but we do not have the right to not tell our spouse things that could potentially, let alone the things that definitely will, affect them. Post Reply
SilverFire View Profile History	TO TELL THE TRUTH? Posted : 19 Oct, 2010 03:18 AM I wouldn't want to know, as in having a burning desire to know, but I think that we do owe one another that information. That way we can have all the facts at hand and see how to handle them. Post Reply
teach_ib View Profile History	TO TELL THE TRUTH? Posted : 21 Oct, 2010 07:54 PM Reality is our past defines our present...what really matters is did we get forgiveness from God, give forgiveness to those who may have wronged us (i.e. not harboring grudges or bitterness), did we learn from the mistakes, how did we overcome, etc. As has been pointed out, there are some things better to find out early in a friendship/relationship. God is still in the business of forgiveness...and Romans 3:23 still applies to all of us. By making potential mates aware of some things before a commitment, provides the opportunity for them to decide if they can live with the consequences of your forgiven sins. Covering up sins (including those under the blood) can cause difficulties in a marriage. An undisclosed sin...covered by a lie...was exposed after I was married. It was one of several contributing factors in my divorce. Had I known about the addiction prior to getting married, I would not have pursued the relationship. Lying about to attract me made the whole relationship a sham. Honesty is the best policy... Post Reply