Author	Thread: I STOLE THIS FROM PIXY
DEEDEE72 View Profile History	I STOLE THIS FROM PIXY Posted : 8 Oct, 2010 04:36 PM Pixy wrote what I have posted below and it got me thinking. How many of us pray for our sex lives with our future spouse? I have to admit I just thought it would all fall in to place and be AWESOME. I think about it with rose colored glasses.. Pixy's post: "I have this fear that Future Hubby will want sex too often. And how do you really know that before getting married? I mean, even if you ask, the guy isn't going to know what his sex drive is like if he's a virgin. And, even if he's not a virgin, he still might not really know. I mean, in my case, I would only marry a guy who's not a virgin if he's been living a life of purity for quite awhile and possibly even ever since he was saved (depends on the circumstances). But anyways, he would have needed to completely turn his back on having sex outside of marriage. And, if it's been awhile, he might not really know what his sex drive is like either. I guess it's all about compromise, but it makes me nervous because I know that some guys want it a lot. One of my ex-boyfriends (not the most recent one) said that he'd need to have sex 5 times a day. And I want to be accommodating and all that, but the thought of doing it 5 times a day really freaks me out. I mean, I figure it probably takes a good 2 hours or so to really properly make love maybe (not like I'd really know because I don't). So that would be like 10 hours of sex a day, which only leaves 6 other waking hours. It seems like we'd be living in sex-land... I'd almost start to feel used at that point... I'd be like, "Don't you want me for anything other than sex?" I hope not all guys have that kind of sex drive. Post Reply
View Profile History	I STOLE THIS FROM PIXY Posted : 8 Oct, 2010 05:42 PM I actually have given this throught and prayed about it a bit but not enough.. Pix I think you are confusing making love with sex. If the man says he wants sex 5 times a day he is dreaming I do not know any man that can manage that very often.. and the length of time it takes.. well. I will pray for you that it will turn out as you think... God Bless Post Reply
View Profile History	I STOLE THIS FROM PIXY Posted : 8 Oct, 2010 06:07 PM I'm not too sure if you are going to get very many men to admit what their sex drive is like in public. The statistical average is 1-2 times per week, depending on your age. Post Reply
cowgirl1984 View Profile History	I STOLE THIS FROM PIXY Posted : 8 Oct, 2010 09:27 PM 1-2 times a week? That doesn't seem like much, LOL. But I could be wrong. The Bible says that a man's body belongs to his wife and a woman's body belongs to her husband. I believe that means it is our marital duty to satisfy the sexual needs of our spouse. However, I think that those needs should be within reason... I can see newlyweds having sex 5 times a day on their honeymoon, haha. But there's no way anyone could keep that up for long! And as far as it taking two hours to be done properly, for a girl probably yeah. I apologize if this is a bit "over the line" but what they say is that on average (everyone is different) it takes women 45 minutes to achieve pleasure, and that won't even happen every time. It takes guys a lot less (or at least that's what they--the people who apparently decide everything--say). So when a guy says 5 times a day, I doubt he's thinking any specific length of time. He's probably thinking like half an hour at a time usually, haha. Men, think about your wives please... Sex should be a joyful act for both the husband AND the wife. Post Reply
View Profile History	I STOLE THIS FROM PIXY Posted : 9 Oct, 2010 02:10 AM I pray for my sex life w/ Future Hubby, as I pray for many aspects of my future marriage and Future Hubby's life. I had a friend years ago who advised me to get a copy of Stormie Omartian's The Power of a Praying Wife while I'm single and to use the prayers in the book as a guideline for praying over my Future Hubby. And the book is great! It has 30 chapters, each one focused on a different aspect of your man's life. Not being a guy, it's helpful to have that insight into what a guy really needs prayer for. And I certainly can't profess to praying as often as I should in this area, but every once in awhile, I pull the book out and randomly flip open to a chapter and pray for Future Hubby, whoever he may be =) Back to praying about the future sex life, a lot of this involves pray for myself... just that I would continue to let heal me and transform me and that I'll experience a sexuality w/in marriage that's just completely restored and beautiful. Post Reply
DEEDEE72 View Profile History	I STOLE THIS FROM PIXY Posted : 9 Oct, 2010 02:48 AM Pixy - I really loved Power of a Praying Wife. Though I have not picked it up in a while. The part I remember that stood out for me was her saying she always prays before she broaches a subject with her husband. To ask the Holy Spirit is it something she needs to talk to him about or if the Holy Spirit is pointing out an area she needs to pray for. Another book I feel all Christain women should read is "Sacred Influence" By Gary Thomas. Of course the book talks about the influence wifes have over there husbands and in which ways. One part I remember was him quoting from a movie that a woman bragged she was good at sex. He asked the question how many christian wives could say that and thought it was important...... One other part was Napolian Bonapart was getting word that his wife was crying all the time and looked depressed. He sent her a letter telling her "I insist you have strenght. I am told you are always crying. For shame, that is very bad!.....Be worthy of me and develope a stronger character. Make a proper show in Paris ...An Empress should have heart" Post Reply
SilverFire View Profile History	I STOLE THIS FROM PIXY Posted : 9 Oct, 2010 04:47 AM I think this needs to be stated more clearly than it has previously. Often when men say they want sex very often, they are only thinking about themselves and their needs/desires; many if not most men can feel satisfied with < 10 minutes of effort, and that's because honestly, many men are easily turned on. Post Reply
View Profile History	I STOLE THIS FROM PIXY Posted : 9 Oct, 2010 05:54 PM So here we are discussing sex again ... well ... I can only speak for myself about MY sexual desires and preferences ... I DO pray for my sex life with Future Wife too, pixy ... and look forward to it as one of the Physical Touch primary love language expressions of our love that gives us the MOST enjoyment, pleasure, blessing and assurance of each other's love!!! ... I won't go into details about the specifics of what I love to do and pray that my Future Wife will love to do too (this should be for God's ears and hers alone) ... but as far as how often I would enjoy sharing our love expressed physically to each other through our sex life, for me I can enjoy having it only once a week, but prefer more often than that, twice a week at least ... and sometimes I think we guys get turned on by our gals more one week than another or one month than another in some kind of a "libido cycle for guys" when it's hard for us NOT to want sex more that particular week or month (even every day, in some form, sometimes) ... does this sound right and happen to other guys here too in their "surge of a desire" for sex differently some weeks or months? Maybe it can be compared to a woman's monthly bodily cycles which she has no control over either, but are just natural in God's design of women's bodies ... anyway, what matters is not that you need to have sex "x" many times but that it ALWAYS needs to be an act of love and desire combined, expressing your heart in Christ in lovingly taking care of each other sexual needs thoughtfully, tenderly, faithfully, joyously "within reason" (as one wise brother or sister stated). Steve Post Reply
i_live_in_canada View Profile History	I STOLE THIS FROM PIXY Posted : 10 Oct, 2010 03:22 AM There is a big difference between having sex and making love. Also every one (man and woman) is different in what they want from a sexual stand point. One man told me he thought sex was over rated. He liked the full experience of intimacy but the actual sex act was just the ending point. Not the high light. He would definitely not want sex 5 times a day. Yes women take longer to warm up but so do some men. If it was 5 times a day that would be likely short times. That can be fun and spontaneous but for the most part women like a more passionate longer experience. I highly doubt the man would want 5 long drawn out experiences a day. The intimacy is not some thing to worry about. It's just a symptom of the relationship. There will be little or no intimacy or sex if the relationship is not functioning properly. So work on the relationship and the sexual part will fall into place. Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	I STOLE THIS FROM PIXY Posted : 10 Oct, 2010 07:43 AM At the same time though, with as much oxytocin as is released after sex, having sex when you don't feel particularly close would do a lot to solve that problem Post Reply
View Profile History	I STOLE THIS FROM PIXY Posted : 10 Oct, 2010 08:29 AM I agree with what Tulip said. Even when a couple is having difficulty, I think that they need to have sex regularly. I think coming together in that way helps the relationship. Post Reply