The topics of women�s hair and modesty are both quite common on the message boards, and both are topics that get a lot of passionate responses. What I want to understand is how people think the two are related.
I think most of us agree that a certain degree of modesty is admirable in a Christian. However, we live in a culture where it is almost assumed that a woman puts on her makeup before stepping outside, as well as doing her hair. Both of these are basically vain things.
Men generally like long hair. Why? Answers I have seen on this site alone have included that it is more attractive, it is more feminine, and some have gone into creepy descriptions of running hands through it and various sensual things. A woman�s hair is often described in very sensual, even sexual, terms, which makes me think long hair, to men who like it, really is kind of a sexual thing. Then isn�t long hair immodest? Why is short hair on a woman less desirable? Long hair requires time and attention that short hair does not, and apparently creates feelings that short hair does not. So wouldn�t short hair be the more modest choice? Then there's the whole "having a covering" thing.......
I haven�t had the privilege of running my fingers through a woman�s hair, so I wouldn�t say that my preference for long hair is a sexual one.
I can�t quite define it, but there is a difference between beauty and sexual attraction. An extreme example, and I will probably get a lot comments about this, are pregnant women. A woman in her full bloom of pregnancy is very beautiful, but that doesn�t always mean that a guy is going to be thinking about having sex with her. In this particular case, if beauty and sexual attraction were the same, it would be immodest for a pregnant woman to be in public.
To me, a woman�s long hair adds to her beauty, and not necessarily her sexual attraction. I don�t see that as being immodest.
I know I'm a girl but I wanted to toss in my 2 cents anyway! :goofball: The 1st part of this is copied/pasted from something I posted on another message board many months ago.
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I think that, at the least, modesty is a 2-fold concept.
1. Our clothing, accessories, and makeup make a statement about us as women. And sometimes, depending upon how much actual interaction we have with a person, may be the primary statement we make about ourselves. While we talk on-and-on all day about wanting to be stylish, unique, whatever, we have to take a serious look at what our appearance is actually saying to people. If you're not sure, ask someone! Ask an older woman at church, or a guy who's NOT attracted to you, to be honest with you and tell you the impression they get of you just by looking at you.
Modesty and humility are very similar, so I think that when we say that we should dress modestly, that we are, in essence, saying that our clothing choices should reflect humility. I think a little of what that means is that our clothing should not be something that screams out for attention. You know that phrase about brides choosing hideous bridesmaid dresses because they don't want their bridesmaids showing them up at the wedding? Well, I think we should think of our clothing like that. Our outward appearance should not show up the fact that we, as members of the church, are the brides of Christ.
2. Our clothing should be appropriate to the setting we're in and the people around us. For example, if we're traveling abroad and in a different culture, we should dress in a way that would not be offensive to the people in that culture. As long as we're covering ourselves up, we should make somewhat of an effort at least, to blend in a little. As far as the people around us, if we're around men, we need to think about what could be tempting to men. And again, if you're not sure, ask! Obviously, certain body parts should be covered up. A good rule is this: If it's something that you would only allow your future spouse to touch behind closed doors, then it shouldn't be bare/exposed (unless of course you are behind closed doors with your spouse!). So, thinking about the length of something here... (and sorry if this is a little graphic) If you wouldn't allow someone to touch your inner thighs in public, then don't show them off by wearing super short skirts, dresses, or shorts!
I think what is more difficult here is probably the "fit" of clothing. I knew one guy who said that women should never wear pants, because pants outline the shape of a woman's leg and makes him think of touching her. Yet, I know another guy who says that a woman in pants is unattractive and unfeminine and never makes him think inappropriate thoughts. So, it's going to be impossible to dress in such a way that never causes a guy to think lustful thoughts. But, by asking what guys think, we can probably come up with a consensus about a few things... such as no cleavage showing and skirts with hemlines not above the knees. Almost every guy who is honest about the modesty issue will say those things.
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I would add that hair fits into the whole humility thing, which, to an extent, is more of an attitude issue than an appearance issue. When selecting a hair length and style there are many things that women should consider. If it takes a woman an hour to do her hair each day, then I would say that her priorities are probably askew and that there could be a humility issue there. We must remember that our appearance reflects who we are and if we're humble and in submission to Christ, that will probably mean that we're not walking out the door looking like supermodels every day of the year. I know I certainly didn't walk out the door looking like a model this morning! Haha...
Also, depending on hair type, longer hair could be easier to manage than shorter hair. My hair is naturally curly and I recently cut it to around the underarm level, which is probably a couple inches too short, because without the weight that it used to have it's gone a little psycho... as in massive volume and out of control curls.
And these things change depending on the season of life one is in. I'm pregnant and so incredibly exhausted lately... Between that and school and morning sickness, I don't have the time or energy to invest in my appearance that much. Rest is becoming a really huge priority for me... as well as prayer for everything going on in my life now. I'm lucky to get out the door these days with my teeth brushed and matching clothes.
On the flip side, we shouldn't look like slobs because that reflects things such as disorganization, time management issues, body image or self esteem issues, etc.
And I am really rambling and don't think I've really probably even answered the question!
As far as guys getting turned on by women's hair, I've had my fair share of comments along those lines and I do take that into account with what I decide to do with my hair. A lot of times this means putting my hair up or into a braid or something. It just depends on the guys I'm around. When I was in my early 20s and going to this church Bible study, guys would comment on my hair when it was down and it seemed like it was a distraction to them. Guys would even reach out and grab a curl to feel it or whatever... (And women have done this too. It almost kinda creeps me out! I would love to have a guy stroke my hair, but I've never actually experienced that.) So, I just started wearing my hair up for the Bible study to make it less of a distraction or temptation that way. And then this one guy would actually ask me to take it down for awhile. But then everyone just got used to it and the comments were much less frequent.
Oh, and I agree w/ what Cobbler said (and it's nice to "hear" a guy say that pregnant women are beautiful!). Humans find lots of things to be beautiful... like flowers... sunsets... Sexual response is just one of many types of reactions to the beauty that God created.
Pixy reminded me of something when she mentioned putting her hair up. For many centuries it was considered immodest for a woman to have her hair down in public.
In my opinion, if you are concerned that your long hair is immodest, don't cut it, just pin it up. I'm sure your husband will appreciate it.
Oh! And as far as a pregnant woman being beautiful. I have stated before that, to me, the more femenin a woman is the more beautiful she is. I don't think you can get any more femenin than being pregnant. Guys can have long hair too, but they can't be pregnant...
I don't find running my fingers through a woman's hair to be the slightest bit creepy; I find it to be a very intimate, beautiful, and sensual (not necessarily sexual) thing. It should go without saying that this act is only for a man and woman in love.
I do not think that long hair is immodest, any more than a dress is immodest. It is womanly. Can it be abused? Sure. Do some guys have immoderate fixations with hair? Sure. Because of those two things, does that mean that women shouldn't wear their hair long? Of course not. That is arguing that the general is true because of a small number of people in particular have a problem. If we used the same logic, then we could never do anything, ever, because some small group of people have issues with left turns, with teeth, with cars, with sunglasses, with belts, etc.
Should a woman be modest? Of course. Should a man be modest? Of course. Scripture doesn't have any guidelines about wearing your hair long or short, though, so I think speculation isn't going to get us any closer to an answer. Just heed the Spirit in your walk.
SilverFire: I think it�s fine if a man looks forward to that, I guess I just have a hang up about people talking about intimate things even in a hypothetical manner. And I don�t expect any answer; I reached my decision on it a while ago, just curious about those of others.
Pixy: I usually love your responses, and it�s no different here.
First off I want to say that, while I posted this topic, I highly subscribe to the fact that there are much, much more important ethical dilemmas we face as Christians than lady hair. However, it is something that a lot of girls are raised to be obsessed with (I was raised with the phrase �a woman�s hair is her glory� and can remember my sister literally screaming early in the morning because she couldn�t get her hair �right�). I went through an awful lot with my hair for years until coming to the decision, about a year ago, that it absolutely did not matter and I wanted to do whatever was the least amount of maintenance. Which is hard for �wavy� red hair that is not much more than a series of cowlicks. :goofball:
For a few years I had darling pixie-short hair, and while I received many compliments, I also got a lot of flack from more �hardcore� old fashioned types. What got me off the short hair was the fact that my hair grows at a bizarre rate and getting a haircut every three weeks� well�.
Suffice to say it�s a very personal thing a lot of people have opinions about.
Well, there's Corinthians 11:15 in the "head-covering" Scriptures where Paul says: "But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her...
And then before that in Corinthians 11:14, "Doth not even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have long hair, it is a shame unto him?"
So, depending on how conservative one interprets Scripture, one would draw the conclusion that not only does long hair provide the covering women require when praying or prophesying, but it also signifies her complying with her "natural" God-given femininity.
Along the same lines of reasoning, one can draw the conclusion that short hair is masculine since that (or baldness) are the only "natural" ways in which men can wear their hair.
A woman who wears her hair short may be interpreted by some men as a way in which she wishes to defy her femininity, or even be advertising some form of masculinity.
Personally, I think long hair is more attractive on females. I really do think that women like Halle Berry look MUCH better with long hair rather than short hair, basing it more on aesthetics rather than sensuality. But, I won't judge or condemn women who have short hair, nor will I do likewise to men who don't follow the "Scriptural Standard." I know of quite a few individuals who don't, and their fruits are telling of how much they Love our Lord.
