Author	Thread: Should I...?
bcpianogal View Profile History	Should I...? Posted : 17 Sep, 2010 07:48 PM Hi guys, I need your advice on a matter. Here's some history on the situation: Last week I messaged a guy (on another site) who seemed to have a lot of possible dating potential. All I said was that the computer was saying we were a good match and based on his profile, it did seem like we might have a lot in common. I said that if he would like to chat or email, just let me know. I tried to keep it very basic, non-threatening, friendly, and open-ended...no pressure to even answer that first message. He responded the next day and said that he liked my profile, and was interested in getting to know me more. He asked me a few questions, I responded, he answered back that he'd been busy at work, but that he would write a longer email over the weekend. He did so, and asked more questions. I responded back and answered his questions, and asked a few of my own (nothing too personal or scary, just basic questions about hobbies and interests). He responded within 5 minutes and sounded excited to hear that we have a favorite music group in common. I replied to that, and haven't heard from him since. That was Monday afternoon. It is now Friday night. Here is my dilemma: should I message him once more and just ask how his week was? Should I assume that no reply means that he no longer wishes to communicate with me (even though that is NOT the feeling I got from his last message)? Should I be blunt and ask him if I offended him in some way that would cause him to disappear with no explanation? Another thing that I've thought of is trying to IM him next time I see that he's online...maybe I could feel out the situation by the way he responds to that. I do know that he logs on at least once a day because the site tells me so. I don't know if he's only on for a couple minutes or several hours. Or should I just wait and do nothing? I'm not one to pester a guy. If he doesn't want to converse with me, fine. If he never even answers that first message, fine. My skin is pretty thick at this point, and I don't get offended easily by people online. What does bother me, though, is when someone just drops the ball on what seems to be a good conversation. I don't know if I offended him, or if he lost interest, or if he has a dozen other girls he's trying to message and mine just got stuck at the bottom of the pile. SOOO...my question to you guys is this: if you were this guy, how would YOU want me to respond? Why would you want that? Do you have any other suggestions? Thanks in advance for all your help, guys! Y'all rock! :rocknroll: Post Reply
View Profile History	Should I...? Posted : 17 Sep, 2010 08:06 PM As usual, sliping my comments in here on the guy's side. In the past I have faced the same dilemna you have. What I did was pray about it. Sometimes I got a "No, leave it" and other times I felt llike I was getting a green light. I would send a light, non-threatening no pressure email. Sometimes the conversations would continue, sometimes they wouldn't. Sometimes I would know why, sometimes I wouldn't. I say ------ pray about it. And go for it if you get the green light. Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	Should I...? Posted : 17 Sep, 2010 08:19 PM Thanks Godslamb...you are always welcome to offer advice! I have prayed about this, and I'm not feeling anything in particular yet, which is why I started this topic. I'm not going to quit praying, though, until I get an answer! I think I'm still holding out hope that he's just really busy with his job (like he told me he was last week) and that he'll find time to send a proper reply over the weekend...maybe his short reply about our common interest in a music group was his way of acknowledging that he received my message, read it, and would get around to answering it eventually. I just don't know for sure, and I don't like to feel clueless! Post Reply
View Profile History	Should I...? Posted : 17 Sep, 2010 08:23 PM I remember I had been back and forth messaging a girl, and early on, she didn't answer a message, and I sent another message couple days later to nudge her, and she did respond to that one. We found out we had alot in common, started IMing, and probably had more in common with her than anybody else I've communicated with online, but had in common on paper that is, maybe she just said what I wanted to hear, because after about a month of communication, she pretty much disappeared from online, and probably doing her own thing in real life. :MrT: so what do I mean by all this jibber jabber. If they aren't answering, probably means not that interested, even if they pretend to be. Alot goes on behind the scenes. The girl I referenced, loved using exclamation points to show her interest, as if that counteracted her aloof behavior. But what do I know, she'll probably show up months later, and we'll get married and live happily ever after until she disappears!!!!!!:rocknroll: Post Reply
DontHitThatMark View Profile History	Should I...? Posted : 17 Sep, 2010 08:26 PM Yeah, go ahead and ask him how his week was. He may have just been really busy. Either way, it can't hurt anything. If he was busy, it'd be cool to know you were wondering about him, and if he doesn't want to talk, then it doesn't matter what you do. Might as well fire one off. :peace::peace: Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	Should I...? Posted : 17 Sep, 2010 08:34 PM Thanks Loony! Who knows...he sounded interested, but maybe not. Mark, I like the way you put that. That's the route I'm leaning toward, so if I don't hear from him soon, I'll probably do it. Thanks! Post Reply
View Profile History	Should I...? Posted : 17 Sep, 2010 08:50 PM Aside from praying about it, my natural inclination would be to send the guy off a brief email asking how his week was. Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	Should I...? Posted : 17 Sep, 2010 10:07 PM Go ahead and send a follow up email. That's usually what I do. After that though, let him go. Post Reply
View Profile History	Should I...? Posted : 18 Sep, 2010 12:06 AM Hey BC, I've been in your situation as I'm sure everyone has in one way or another. Although you have shared some really GREAT email conversations, and it appeared as if this could have been a wonderful fit, if you know he logs on every day weather for a moment or for hours .... I'm thinking if he was truly sincere he would have sent you an email if just to say hi, how are you, I've been extremely busy but look forward to talking to you on.... If you're available to talk then. So by giving an actual time shows he wants to continue to get to know you. I have to say Loony had some good solid and honest insight. Its much easier said than done for sure, but I would move on and just leave it in God's hands. If its meant to be he will pursue you in an appropriate manner. In the mean time I pray God protects your heart and shines His wisdom and desernment upon you. Blessings, Sharon (saved3) :) Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	Should I...? Posted : 18 Sep, 2010 06:26 AM Thanks folks...I'll probably send a follow-up message today sometime. If he doesn't answer that one, I'll just let it go! I really have no problem letting it go, and if I never hear from him again, that's ok too. I just know that if I took a long time answering a guy's message because I'd been very busy, I would love to get a note from him asking how my week had been. Of course, I probably would have sent a quick reply letting him know that it might be awhile before he got a real reply! But not everyone is OCD about emails like I am! :dancingp: Post Reply
InHisHonor View Profile History	Should I...? Posted : 18 Sep, 2010 07:56 AM He may have a really busy job and may not be able to email answers to your questions yet. I say if he hasn't responded to you by tomorrow send him a follow up and see where it goes. Post Reply

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