Author	Thread: Uptight
Admin	Uptight Posted : 14 Sep, 2010 12:53 AM I don't know about the rest of you, but to me it seems like a lot of us guys come off as really uptight. I think it stems from basing our actions from over generalizing everything and have no clue what women are receptive to. For what it's worth (ladies correct me if I'm wrong) I think women are 10x more compassionate and interested in us than we think they are. Don't be so hard on yourself, open up, look around, and find a way to connect. It won't kill you to be let go of your fear and pain and high hopes and expectations by being humble, kind, appreciative, letting go of your strong opinions and just letting them be your opinions and actually listen hear and understand what OTHERS have to say. Otherwise you will be a bitter, unhappy, emotional child. I've been noticing this the last few days or so just everywhere I turn and yesterday I was watching Ghost Town and at the part near the end where the main character's associate is talking to him saying "At some point you've got to ask yourself the ultimate question. This whole business of being such a [jerk]: What is it really getting you?" pretty much capped it off. Post Reply
DEEDEE72 View Profile History	Uptight Posted : 14 Sep, 2010 01:58 AM Easier said than done..This is a defense so that he will not be hurt. The problem is it also repels the one thing he wants from him....The saddest thing in the world is when you actually realise you sabotage yourself and you are your worst enemy. No outside force...Only God can help with this.....Becuase every gal dreams of meeting and falling in love with a jerk right.....Not Post Reply
View Profile History	Uptight Posted : 14 Sep, 2010 02:29 AM Oh yeah, I forgot to mention: Do it for yourself. Post Reply
View Profile History	Uptight Posted : 14 Sep, 2010 02:29 AM I think the root of this issue came from men fear to be rejected. I once heard my boyfriends (all of them agreed) said that better back off rather than being rejected. But yeah, I understand what you were talking about. Deep down I think women really hope that men would just loosen up a little bit and act, women would likely not want to take the first action. Blessings :purpleangel: Post Reply
View Profile History	Uptight Posted : 14 Sep, 2010 04:48 AM Hey Brandon, You never cease to amaze me. You seem to always have such great depth and insight. Women, correct me if I'm off here, we can at times be over passionate on things and we need to learn to back up a bit. (I speak to myself as well on this statement) :) I think men & women need to find a balance in order to work as a great team. Easier said than done I'm sure. :) Any thoughts on how to find that balance? What are your thoughts? Saved3 Post Reply
View Profile History	Uptight Posted : 14 Sep, 2010 06:25 AM For me balance is how you have the same percentage on maximizing our spirit, body and soul, means how we relate with God, our mind/body, and our heart/soul. Cases: 1. A very spiritual husband, only prayed for food served on the table but did not even to try finding a job. Left the wife and babies were all in hunger. 2. A single workaholic guy did nothing but worked. Skipped the church, care not for his family, bla bla bla. Depeanded too much on his brain, had a successful career, yet never found peace and true love. 3. A woman who was in love, heard only what her heart said. The guy was abussive, alcoholic, ex rapist, ex killer, etc but did not stop her to marry the guy since the guy promised to change yet never showed any intention to change. Extreme cases, but we all do need to balance our spirit, body and soul. A true believer who is smoking isn't good and against the bible, a true believer who does not pray yet have healthy body and mentally sane is not good and against the bible, a true believer who pray and has healthy body yet gets married to a non believer is not good and against the bible. But to start balancing those three, we need to focus on spirit first, cause spirit is strong and flesh is weak. How could the weak drive the strong? Spirit is the foundation of having a balance life. Just like what American says, my 2 cents (lol). Blessings! =) Post Reply
View Profile History	Uptight Posted : 14 Sep, 2010 06:26 AM For me balance is how you have the same percentage on maximizing our spirit, body and soul, means how we relate with God, our mind/body, and our heart/soul. Cases: 1. A very spiritual husband, only prayed for food served on the table but did not even to try finding a job. Left the wife and babies were all in hunger. 2. A single workaholic guy did nothing but worked. Skipped the church, care not for his family, bla bla bla. Depeanded too much on his brain, had a successful career, yet never found peace and true love. 3. A woman who was in love, heard only what her heart said. The guy was abussive, alcoholic, ex rapist, ex killer, etc but did not stop her to marry the guy since the guy promised to change yet never showed any intention to change. Extreme cases, but we all do need to balance our spirit, body and soul. A true believer who is smoking isn't good and against the bible, a true believer who does not pray yet have healthy body and mentally sane is not good and against the bible, a true believer who pray and has healthy body yet gets married to a non believer is not good and against the bible. But to start balancing those three, we need to focus on spirit first, cause spirit is strong and flesh is weak. How could the weak drive the strong? Spirit is the foundation of having a balance life. Just like what American says, my 2 cents (lol). Blessings! =) Post Reply
View Profile History	Uptight Posted : 14 Sep, 2010 06:34 AM Forget to add, (sorry thumbing on the phone), the balance between men and women could not be done if each hasn't had the balance even in him/her. So, men/women should make up their balance with themselves first, then together dance the perfect balance of God, men and women. We can't find balance outside Jesus! :applause: Post Reply
SilverFire View Profile History	Uptight Posted : 14 Sep, 2010 04:37 PM Women may not dream of marrying jerks, but that's whom they go out with and end up marrying. And honestly, if you look out there in the world, you'll find plenty of guys who are jerks getting plenty of attention from women. So at some level, it works. I don't think we as Christian men should do this, of course. I find it curious that the admonition is to let go of your opinions. As the great Nathaniel Hawthorne said, "No, in thunder." I will never relinquish my opinion that abortion is murder. I will never let go of my opinion that Jesus is God. I will never let go of my opinion that some crimes should be punished with death. You get the idea; for every truth that is true, some will call it merely an opinion and then, it's just one more thing to let go of so we can be part of the faceless crowd. And if my opinions are my preferences, why should I let go of them, so I can be a faceless nobody that holds to nothing in particular and is animated by nothing? No, I would rather die a thousand deaths than surrender my individuality. You can freely give up yours. I care not, but I don't understand the need for everyone to be the same. Some people are passionate and emotional. Others are laid back. Others are more logical; others are dreamers. Why cram everyone into the same box? Live and let live, I say. All the parts of the body are different and suited to their different purposes. Maybe we need to shout that from the rafters here, so people will understand that God made us all different for different purposes -- not so that we could all be ears, eyes, or feet -- but so that we could be one body. And as for women being more interested in us than first appears? Bahahahahhaa. I suppose I could assume all matters of good things when I see no action and no responses, but dang. I'm not really into the self-delusion trip. Thanks for the laugh, though. Post Reply
View Profile History	Uptight Posted : 14 Sep, 2010 06:54 PM @silverfire: Can you show me where I said let go of your opinions? We all have opinions, but so many cling to theirs in a death grip like they are actual facts when in fact they are not which is believing in something that is not true and by definition a mental disorder be it delusion, narcissism, mysoginy, racism, sexism, etc. Yes this is my opinion, but I'm open to respecting other people's opinions as well, unlike you. "...letting go of your strong opinions and just letting them be your opinions and actually listen hear and understand what OTHERS have to say." And then say you're not delusional. One good laugh deserves another. You know what else is good for a laugh? Guys that say 'women only go out with jerks' and they're jerks BUT they're still single and then they try to believe that the reason they are single is because they are nice guys except they conveniently never bother to ask themselves when was the last time they ever actually chose to do something that was kind, or nice, or selfless or attempt to make it a consistant habit, but then they go back and say well I just don't put myself out there because I just get taken advantage of. It's pathetic really. But I'm sure that has nothing to do with why they are and always will be single for as long as they are like that. Another thing that's good for a laugh is when people say women do this or that and assume it's implied that they aren't talking about their mothers or sisters. WOO! :laugh: Post Reply