Author	Thread: Friend or boyfriend?
IamIsabel View Profile History	Friend or boyfriend? Posted : 11 Sep, 2010 08:09 PM Just want to see if you guys can see through this because I am very confused. Background info. I have a guy friend who I absolutely love and he has said the same to me when we were just friends. We are reallly close friends. I've never had a friendship with a man with so much unconditional love. I know his dirt and he knows mine and we still care so deeply for each other. When we met he was ending a 20 year marriage and still has some depression and stuff he is dealing with, I understand. We hung out as friends only but started getting more intimate like holding hands, kissing, nothing too intimate though. Anyway, he has mentioned topics that only serious people talk about like how he would marry again, honey moons, etc. With all of this going on he might text me a few times a day but only calls a few times a week. He lives in another town so we see each other about every other week when he does not see his son. I text him and inquire if he is interested or not. He texts back to say "I'm sorry. You are my friend. Maybe we went down the wrong road". I'm heart broken because the last time I saw him he had stars in his eyes and I know he thinks the world of me. Does anyone have any insight about this that a woman cannot see? He loves me? He loves me not! He loves me? He loves me not! Post Reply
View Profile History	Friend or boyfriend? Posted : 11 Sep, 2010 08:25 PM Well, if he's holding hands w/ you and kissing you, then you 2 are more than just friends. If he's wanting to have those "privileges" and still classify the relationship as friendship, then he has a major issue, and he needs to work out that issue while taking a break from you. His behaviour is just plain disrespectful. If it was me, I would tell him that and tell him to give me a call back when he's made up his mind and worked through his issues. Post Reply
IamIsabel View Profile History	Friend or boyfriend? Posted : 11 Sep, 2010 08:49 PM Actually he suggested we take a break. I suppose to keep the relationship as friends. I just wish I knew why he won't let himself go further as it is obvious he has the desires. Thanks Pixie. Post Reply
IamIsabel View Profile History	Friend or boyfriend? Posted : 11 Sep, 2010 08:53 PM I want to add an important detail. One of the last things he told me is he sees me as a sister. His mouth is saying one thing but his actions are saying another. Do I listen to his words or pay attention to his actions??? Post Reply
Rabbit32 View Profile History	Friend or boyfriend? Posted : 11 Sep, 2010 09:09 PM It sounds like he MIGHT be letting lonliness get the best of him. It sounds like he is trying to let you down easily, for what ever reason. YOu dont have to answer, and I dont recall now that I dont have the thread in front of me....but was there any sexual sin, if so, that might be the reason for the distance. Keep in mind this is just speculation, best thing to d is put on a garment of praise and give him space. :) Post Reply
IamIsabel View Profile History	Friend or boyfriend? Posted : 11 Sep, 2010 09:14 PM No we have not been intimate. Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	Friend or boyfriend? Posted : 11 Sep, 2010 09:30 PM My last relationship ended similarly. He gave me every indication that our relationship was leading toward marriage. No we weren't intimate, and no we weren't engaged, but everything he said and did made me believe that he was definitely thinking very long-term. And I was happy with that. Then one day, with NO warning, he ended it. Said that he was ready to fall in love with me, and it wasn't working for him. He told me that I was his closest friend, but that's all he was able to feel for me...friendship. I was so shocked that for about a month I was unable to see how contradictory his actions/words were to his breaking up with me. Now I realize that there must have been something going on that I did not, and still do not, understand or know about. God has also showed me some things about this guy that make me believe that being out of the relationship is by FAR the best thing for me...I'm very grateful that He showed me that, because it makes it a lot easier to just move on. Anyway, all that to say, maybe something is going on in his personal life that you just don't know about. Maybe God is trying to let you know that He has something better for you. Look up this verse, and let God's Word minister to you: Jeremiah 29:11. Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	Friend or boyfriend? Posted : 11 Sep, 2010 09:39 PM The best thing you can do is take a man at his word. Trying to read things into what a man says can only lead to trouble. My roommate and his fiancee got into a pretty big fight today because she "interpreted" a text instead of taking it as he sent it. For whatever reason, he doesn't want a relationship right now. Leave it at that. If anything changes, he'll let you know. Post Reply
View Profile History	Friend or boyfriend? Posted : 11 Sep, 2010 09:45 PM I agree. Take him at his word. And make him stick to it until he can verbalize something different. Don't let him hold your hand, kiss you, etc. until he verbally expresses the desire to be more than just friends. Rabbit may be right... He may have gotten physical out of loneliness =( Post Reply
Rabbit32 View Profile History	Friend or boyfriend? Posted : 11 Sep, 2010 10:02 PM You know its real easy to get caught up. Its hard to hold a friendship pattern, and both men and women can jump the gun before they really KNOW. Thats why its best not to get to lovey dovey, cause nothing vested nothing lost, and there can be a lasting friendship with no hard feelings. I would say though, by your account this man sounds like he is being a punk. Post Reply
springrose10 View Profile History	Friend or boyfriend? Posted : 11 Sep, 2010 10:34 PM I'm not a guy but I'm going to wade into this BECAUSE depressions is a mood disorder, and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is a mood disorder. I have gotten counseling for the PTSD and at present, it is considered dormant. Unless I'm triggered by a subconscious stimulus, I have no symptoms. However, while I was going through recovery, I did not date. I was not healthy and it would not have been wise for any man to try and date me. I craved physical affection and emotional connection but it would have been unkind for me to engage in that behavior because I wasn't stable emotionally. Physical affection of any kind can get out of hand very quickly when one's emotions are not in check. Your friend may not have "set you up" intentionally, but IMO he had no business getting involved with you or any other woman until he had his depression under control. I'm sorry if that sounds harsh, but you can't have a healthy relationship without 2 healthy participants. Not possible. Also, I didn't see anywhere in your post that this man tried to maintain any kind of spiritual leadership. I'm thinking I would thank God that you got out now, before you got even more involved. Sorry I wasn't encouraging! Rose Post Reply

First

Page : 1 2

Next  7 >>

Last