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babies
Posted : 26 Aug, 2010 09:11 PM

Just out of curiosity:

1. How many children do you want?

2. Would you date and/or marry someone who wanted a different # of children than you do? Would you try to compromise or is that a dealbreaker?

3. Would you adopt?

4. Would you leave your wife if she got pregnant after the 2 of you agreed to not have children?

5. Would you leave your wife if you agreed to have children but then she couldn't get pregnant or carry a baby to term?

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Koinonia87

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Posted : 26 Aug, 2010 10:24 PM

1. Maybe 3 as an upper end. I'll let life decide

2. Yes. One or both will have to compromise. If she's set I wouldn't mind. We'll work it out.

3. Absolutely.

4. Absolutely NOT.

5. No, In that case #3 is a good option. I would never hold it over her head, much less leave.

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Tulip89

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Posted : 26 Aug, 2010 10:25 PM

1. Two children.

2. If she wants 4, and I want 2, it would seem that 3 would be a suitable compromise. However, if she couldn't be okay with 3, it would probably cause serious problems. I like kids, but I've never wanted a lot of them.

3. I wouldn't NOT adopt, but it's not really in the plan immediately. My mom is adopted, so if we ended up adopting a little girl, I'd definitely name her after my mom.

4. I doubt I would leave my wife, but depending on the situation, I might be incredibly upset. If it was really an accident, then I can't blame her. However, if she stashed a sample before I got a vasectomy and impregnated herself or something. we would need some serious counseling.

5. Of course not. We'd probably adopt in that case.

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Posted : 27 Aug, 2010 01:42 AM

wow

I know it's an 'ask a guy' thread but I can't keep my mouth shut and not say what I think lol.

Vasectomy???? would you as a christian do it? don't you consider it self-mutiliation and something totally against God's will ('be fertile')????

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chakal

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Posted : 27 Aug, 2010 05:54 AM

first of all I :hearts: babies so it influence my answers:



1. One or two if we are sure we can rise them well...



2. well, the # is a decision we shall make together but since thats she who will be pregnant so she would have the last word.



3. I would consider adopting and also dating single mother.



4. No way! I won't leave my wife...(unless she want to leave me) I know the consequence of that on children and family.



5. same answer as number 4.

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Tulip89

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Posted : 27 Aug, 2010 07:54 AM

@marianna

Nope, I don't see a problem with it. It's just a more long-term form of contraception after I've already had several kids. Are you really going to say that older couples are outside of God's will since they aren't being fruitful anymore?

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DontHitThatMark

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Posted : 27 Aug, 2010 08:14 AM

1. How many children do you want? 2, but adopted.



2. Would you date and/or marry someone who wanted a different # of children than you do? Would you try to compromise or is that a dealbreaker? It would depend on how many, but I could compromise to a degree. I think the highest I could go would be 4, but I don't think I'll have to. It's nice to find someone like-minded:hearts:.



3. Would you adopt? Yep.



4. Would you leave your wife if she got pregnant after the 2 of you agreed to not have children? No. Only if the baby wasn't half mine.



5. Would you leave your wife if you agreed to have children but then she couldn't get pregnant or carry a baby to term? No. That would be a pretty lame reason to leave the "love of my life".





:peace::peace:

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Posted : 27 Aug, 2010 09:27 AM

Thanks for the responses so far. They're interesting =) I felt kinda silly putting #4 and #5 there, but I've heard of this happening quite often actually =(



@Marianna- You can comment on my threads anytime. We all comment on the reverse sides here anyway, so no worries!



@Tulip- LOL... So, I was reading the bit about naming an adopted daughter (should there be one) after your mother and was thinking, "Aw, that's so sweet." And then I read your #4 and just about fell on the floor ! A sample?! LOL That sounds like a good plot for a Lifetime movie! I haven't heard of anyone doing that, but I have heard of people poking holes in their barrier methods of birth control. Situations like that would definitely require counseling... !



:ROFL:



RE: vasectomies

While I think it would be a difficult decision to come to, I would be okay with my husband getting a vasectomy AFTER we were very sure we were done making babies. To be honest, though, I've really gone back-and-forth on the birth control issue. Back when I was in college, I was convinced that I never wanted to be a mother. I started out college as pre-law and saw children as something that would interfere with being an attorney. And then my life kinda fell apart and changed my thinking on a lot of things, and eventually I came to the opinion that I didn't think birth control was Biblical. Granted, I had decided that I loved babies and that I wanted 7 of them(!), so it didn't seem unrealistic to not use birth control. In the past year or two, though, I've decided that birth control is Biblical. I think couples really just need to bring their lives before the Lord in all areas of decision-making, including family planning. God's plan for each couple is unique, I think. With me, my health has gone psycho in the past 2 years and I've actually been advised by a couple different doctors to not get pregnant (which was heartbreaking, because I have some serious baby envy going on). Taking that into account, I would question the wisdom in my future hubby and I just throwing caution to the wind completely...



Oh, and I don't want 7 babies anymore... The more I recognize the responsibility of mothering a child Biblically, I've decided that 1-4 babies would be a better number! =)

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DontHitThatMark

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Posted : 27 Aug, 2010 09:36 AM

Yeah...it does seem like some people are into "baby collecting" and I think they forget about the responsibility they have of raising another human soul to follow God. It is a scary job, and I think people should go into it with that realization. Almost with "reverence"...or something...





:peace::peace:

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Tulip89

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Posted : 27 Aug, 2010 09:46 AM

There's no need to go into details, but I've heard plenty of stories of the "creative" (read: incredibly deceitful and manipulative) ways some women have gotten themselves pregnant.

As for going from "awwww" to extremely hard, I take that as quite a compliment. Predictable was never my style!

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Rabbit32

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Posted : 27 Aug, 2010 11:15 AM

1. How many children do you want?

As many as God has made me capable of handeling.



2. Would you date and/or marry someone who wanted a different # of children than you do? Would you try to compromise or is that a dealbreaker?

Well hopefully they will want three after that it doesnt really matter.



3. Would you adopt?

Doubtful, but children always have my heartsrtings so I never know.



4. Would you leave your wife if she got pregnant after the 2 of you agreed to not have children?

No



5. Would you leave your wife if you agreed to have children but then she couldn't get pregnant or carry a baby to term?

No



Heres a question would any of the fellas here agree to have their wife carry for another family, like a surrogate?

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