Author	Thread: Help! Kind advice, but the truth needed...
LivYourLife View Profile History	Help! Kind advice, but the truth needed... Posted : 9 Aug, 2010 03:33 PM Hey, guys. So, I've always been a big girl, plus-sized, whatever. I've never (ever) been "thin." I have times of being a size or two smaller, but that's it, and that's with extreme, diligent dieting and workin' out @ the gym 3 or 4 times/week:bouncy:. I am actually pretty healthy, and lead a somewhat active life. I do enjoy some sports/activities, etc., like playing dodgeball, walking, going to the beach, water activities, etc. I am trying to eat healthier (learning to eat and experiment with new recipes, fruits & veggies & legumes) than when I was growing up as a child. I've seen many of my friends marrying/having children who are all big girls, too. So, is it my pics? Or, is it something that comes across or doesn't come across in my profile? It seems like the only guys that are interested in me have totally different lifestyles, interests, personalities, and I'm hoping to find someone with dreams, goals, a good personality, & sense of humor. I even tried a BBW dating site that's for guys who "supposedly" like or don't mind bigger girls. What should I do? I'm not looking for someone that's rich or has the "total package", so any & all honest advice is welcome & appreciated. Thanks, guys! :angel: Post Reply
View Profile History	Help! Kind advice, but the truth needed... Posted : 10 Aug, 2010 05:25 PM Maybe there's something in the way that you project yourself that says "I'm unhappy with the way I look." or "I'm ashamed of how I look." I'm not saying that you should be at all...but if you are feeling that way about yourself, you'll tend to show that in your body language or carry yourself less confidently than you should be. However, if you are of the mindset that you love how you look and accept who you are, you'll surely be noticed for the confident and outgoing way you portray yourself. I know this sounds really cliche...but the girls that guys find beautiful/attractive/hot/sexy/whatever word you want to use...are they girls that truly believe themselves to be. Trust me, I was pushing 300 pounds in high school. I lost about 100-110, and it took me a while to learn how to love myself and carry myself confidently...when I did, I noticed that girls were actually noticing me. So maybe you need to notice yourself before others will notice you! I hope this helps, even in the slightest! - Rodey Post Reply
LivYourLife View Profile History	Help! Kind advice, but the truth needed... Posted : 10 Aug, 2010 06:49 PM Thanx! I agree, and that does help. I don't know. I'm on the road to taking good care of myself, taking pride (in a good way) in myself, and learning to love me, and who I am, and to be confident in that. It's definitely a process. Physically, I don't know if I'll ever be "thin", and don't know how "thin" I can get, and how long it will take. I know I'm improving my lifestyle, and taking better care of myself, and educating myself. But, at this point, I know I've always been a big girl, and believe that it's time to accept that, and work on being a healthy, happy girl. I don't want to change who I am, and who God made/designed me to be. Like, I LOVE fellowship, and love going out to eat with friends, and entertaining. And, to me, you can't have the holidays without having lots of good food! But, I'm starting to believe that there must be a way to celebrate holidays, still enjoy good food with friends, but to make healthier, more natural, flavorful foods. I kinda feel like this is who God created me to be, and that instead of denying my nature, learn how to make it better, and so, I hope to be able to pass on and serve many healthy, filling, satisfying, delicious foods for the holidays, etc., for the future. Thing is, I know that this is a process I'm going through, and working on bettering myself, inside & out, and while looking for ways to still be a blessing to my brothers & sisters in the Lord, @ church, and as God leads. But, I don't want to wait until the process is complete-I'm a work in progress. Life's a journey, and I am wondering if stressing over say eating only 500 calories/day & exercising 5-6 days/week is the only hope, worth it, and the right thing to do. I never thought I'd be 30 and still single. I just want to be the most proactive and useful to God's will, and purpose in my life, and desire to help someone else fulfill their purpose, and hope that they will be glad to jump on board with helping me fulfill mine..encourage, or at least not be against it. Again, any thoughts, opinions, and/or advice is welcome!!! If you think I'm nuts, say so, because I don't want to be walking around naiive, wasting time. I'm trying to live my life to the fullest, but life is a whole lot sweeter when you have someone to share it with! :) Post Reply