Author	Thread: Upgrade from "nice"
Admin	Upgrade from "nice" Posted : 7 Jul, 2010 06:48 AM It's not that being empathetic, compassionate, and thoughtful are bad things. But when they are the only things to you is when you are by definition one dimensional. I used to think that when women said they didn't want a nice guy what they where referring to were those things, when in reality what they meant was that they don't find you interesting but are, ironically, too nice to tell you upfront because it's easier to just tell themselves that you don't understand them. If you consider yourself a nice guy and think that's the reason women don't want you, think a little more about it peel the wrapper off of this identity you have for yourself and what do you find. There's the good: empathy, compassion, thoughtful, caring and the bad: fear (more specifically the fear of facing fear), passivity, inferiority, etc. So go through and take stock like that of what the good things are in you and what the bad things are and then send it back for an upgrade to confidence or self-respect by figuring out how to eliminate or minimize the bad parts about it that you come up with. Nice is nice. But it's not the best, which is what we all should want. Post Reply
View Profile History	Upgrade from "nice" Posted : 7 Jul, 2010 09:04 AM To be nice to be nice is not really nice. But it is nice to be real ! Post Reply
View Profile History	Upgrade from "nice" Posted : 7 Jul, 2010 11:38 AM Nice is "OK" or acceptable. Post Reply
DontHitThatMark View Profile History	Upgrade from "nice" Posted : 7 Jul, 2010 01:49 PM Excellent observation:rocknroll:. Too bad a lot of girls tend to be more attracted to the more "ASSertive"/selfish/egotistical side of the equation so much. :peace::peace: Post Reply
View Profile History	Upgrade from "nice" Posted : 7 Jul, 2010 03:57 PM Good post Brandon...So many persons take inventorys of those around them... ( which is a good thing ta do so ya know ifin they be a good person but not ta judge them ) ...but most persons dont want ta look at them selves...what is good about them an what is...well...not so good...its like as you said, peel away the layers an see whats left...Who are you really ?...Bein Real is where its at...an bein Real is bein Nice...the Upgrade comes after the inner Soul Search is placed in GOD's hands...Kinda like... I dont like this bout myself Father...Help me ta change for the better..be a better person... Every person has Ego, Pride, Self Centeredness etc...an Ifin a person takes stock of these Character Traits an Short Commings an Sees that they are Stumblin Blocks in thier Own Life an Relationship with GOD an Others...well...then a Tranformation/Change can an most often than not will take place...xo Post Reply
View Profile History	Upgrade from "nice" Posted : 7 Jul, 2010 06:46 PM Good post, Brandon. Works for girls, and works for guys too. We all must use God's eyes to see another, and ask God for his discernment and wisdom. And be willing to accept and follow His leading. Post Reply
GraceMae View Profile History	Upgrade from "nice" Posted : 7 Jul, 2010 09:08 PM :applause: Post Reply
View Profile History	Upgrade from "nice" Posted : 4 Aug, 2010 06:56 PM the funny thing is that when you show unconditional love, it is considered being nice. And the you mix that with stuff like respect for the other person and all that, but what seems to happen is that alot of poeple aleinate that for the flawed ones that either seem "fun" or something dumb like that, just to find out months or years later that it all didn't work out. Why is it maturity is soo undervalued in todays society??? Post Reply