Problem With the "Marriage-Minded" continued...

Posted : 19 Jun, 2010 09:37 PM

Okay, so since my last post -i thot the open-ended unasked question would be: so, if I am so adamant that seeking marriage from a stranger can appear to be a sign of a self-serving attitude in purpose-driven spouse-hunting, perhaps I should address my own personal purpose.



well - don't i hava profile for that?:winksmile:



First: I get that personalities and perspectives are quite different and purposes and reasons for using the site tool for meeting folks is as diverse as the colors of all creation. so-i won't try to address what noone can be sure of.



However, i think it stands to be argued that there are always right and wrong ways of viewing people and the evidence of a jaded view of the opposite gender tends to come out in less than honorable ways of judging each other. (read the BOOK) -YES, there's a manual



anyhoot -I'm a strong believer that honor and respect goes both ways and have witnessed the death of love thru unrealistic & ungodly expectations of men/women in relationship that have put too much pressure on the persons involved and wound up killing what could have worked if they just took more responsibility & let the other go a little. FORGIVENESS needs to be a pre-required skill before anyone should be allowed a marriage license. Let the other go and be ready willing and able to do your part of the work REGARDLESS of what is being done exactly by the other, but with a solid trust that the other has the character and skill and willingness to meet his/her part of the covenant made. I believe that if these requirements be tested and trusted it takes time and by time I do not meet a few long dates and a drive to the jeweler. I mean T I M E.



At our age, we tend to rush things b/c we're punching a clock so to speak on fulfilling our dreams (however we drew them). But-my argument is that that is a selfish view to hold when meeting people in general b/c it's a temptation to judge everyone from the view of self-service (which, by the way, is the definition by which women draw the feeling of "meat-market" mentality when they visit some singles' groups).



My idea is for men and women alike to slow down for the sake of the marriage they're looking for and take the time (as you tell your children) to get to know one another BEFORE you decide how/where the relationship should go. It is not wise to bring a list of expectations to the relationship with a person whose strengths and weaknesses you do not know yet. it seriously limits your open-mindedness about who you will meet and what can happen when all you have to do is welcome them all and let God lead you to the one who stands out and introduces the heart to one another.



If you make a decision today the way you did it before (based on the instinctual/judgmental/physical factors), you will get the same results (may or may not work). Lord, this is what I want -uh, come to the wedding and bring a blessing -thx. Whereas, the will of God is in the hand of God and walking with God requires submitting to God. So-why wouldn't we rather leave the choice with Him? Let God give the answer, guide the heart, and satisfy the desire. did not that desire come from Him? if so, don't you think it's HIS right to fulfill His way? sure you can choose for yourself. but if your life is submitted to Him, haven't you forfeited that right in favor of God's choices in every matter over yours? I mean that we choose to let God choose for us.



It is our will, but we surrender our free-will to God that HIS will might rule over ours and we will serve HIS FREE will and no longer ours. I make the decision who I will walk with, but I ask God to guide that decision. I listen to His voice and until He shows me His choice I refuse to claim a preference. In other words -I choose GOD and He chooses the right spouse. the one i love and serve and worship with and grow with and honor and love (oh did i say that already? -sounds worthy of repetition)



anyway, that's my final thought. i welcome other perspectives & ideas on my specially crafted paradigm...:party: let's hear it.

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