Author	Thread: shy guys
miekachan View Profile History	shy guys Posted : 10 Apr, 2010 05:45 PM ok...so this is directed to guys...but girls can post their input as well. if a guy is really shy, what would be the best way to approach him about a possible realtionship (ie:asking him out on a date)? Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	shy guys Posted : 10 Apr, 2010 05:57 PM If, after all your hinting, a guy doesn't have the initiative to ask you on a simple date, I don't really know if he's cut out for a relationship. Post Reply
View Profile History	shy guys Posted : 10 Apr, 2010 07:03 PM Hey Miekachan, is that a hint? Just kidding! Some of us guys, on top of being shy, are also very hard headed. You have to draw us a picture. So a subtle hint, like "we share similar interests", or "I like your profile' may not be enough. Now I realize a lot of guys (women too) believe it is improper for a woman to ask a guy out. I figure, hey-this is the twent first century. If you see a fella you are intersted in, and he is too shy to take the initiative, go for it. (I'd look for a banjo case in the back seat of his car first before I'd get in, though) If it's here on CDFF, I'd send a wink, then a polite message, then if he doesn't respond in a few days, send another one. If it's off site, and you think he may be interested in you, invite him to church, or a cup of coffee. I wouldn't volunteer your number or address at first because he may be someone from off the dating experience thread. In any event, good luck to you. God Bless Post Reply
InHisHonor View Profile History	shy guys Posted : 10 Apr, 2010 08:03 PM And if a picture doesn't work use a brick! Yes some of us are that thick. Now I wouldn't go as far as asking the guy out on a date but letting him know that you are interested in him is fine. Do you want really want a guy that can't take the lead, isn't somewhat pursuant of you, someone that you have to keep bugging to take the lead? If he's to shy to ask you out is he going to be to shy to tell the waiter to take the food back if it's bad? Is he going to be to shy to stand up for you when the time comes? I'm a shy guy myself and I don't normally approach a girl I don't know but if she shows interest in me then I take the initiative and ask her to spend time doing things. Post Reply
View Profile History	shy guys Posted : 11 Apr, 2010 07:29 AM Shy Guys sometimes make the best partners. You know that they are not "full of themselves" and are genuine. I'd ask him out and if the relationship continues and he eventually does not take the "lead" -- you need to check and see if he's a "momma's boy" (still tied to the Umbilical Cord). Throw him back! He is way too much work. Pray for him. But, I know of some "shy" guys that are strong men and perfect Gentlemen. They just need a "kick" in the rear...to get them started. Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	shy guys Posted : 11 Apr, 2010 01:41 PM The guy I'm dating is really, really shy. We met online, though, so I had no way of knowing that right off. I simply sent him a wink because I liked his profile, and I noticed that he hadn't looked at mine yet. He responded with an on-site email. The rest is history. He may be shy, but he's also willing to step out of his comfort zone and take the lead. That's what is important to me. Post Reply
View Profile History	shy guys Posted : 11 Apr, 2010 02:12 PM i say move on too. it's ok to be quiet, but shy is like being incompitant and dysfunctional when it comes to communicating and expressing ones self, which are what makes or breaks a relationship. Post Reply
InHisHonor View Profile History	shy guys Posted : 11 Apr, 2010 08:06 PM Hmmmm Being shy is like being incompetent and dysfunctional when it comes to communicating and expressing ones self. No I don't think you're even close on that remp. Just because someone is shy does not make them incompetent or even dysfunctional. They may take a little longer to warm up to someone but once they feel comfortable with them they can open up better than you can would think. Do I seem incompetent or dysfunctional in my communication skills? I've never had issues expressing myself to anyone that I was close with and trusted. Post Reply
View Profile History	shy guys Posted : 11 Apr, 2010 10:27 PM I'm very shy, but I really don't think I'm incompetent or dysfunctional when it comes to expressing myself! Shyness and self-expression are different things. Just because someone is cautious with opening up to people doesn't mean that they're incompetent or dysfunctional. Post Reply
View Profile History	shy guys Posted : 12 Apr, 2010 12:01 AM i really meant no offense or insensitivity toward anybody when i used those words. my thinking was to accomplish and get what you want in life you need to learn how to trust people, work with people, speak up, etc. and if you can't do if you're shy. i say that because i've been digging myself out of being shy for so long (i actually turned shy after a traumatic experience) so when i say being shy is not healthy, i'm not on the outside looking in or anything. i've come a long way, but am still sorting it all out and that's just the conclusion i'm at. it's really hard for me to explain in a way that others would understand, but i was just being honest when i said that, but should've given better context behind my reasoning. again, i didn't mean to be mean or disrespectful. Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	shy guys Posted : 12 Apr, 2010 06:25 AM I think there is a difference in being "just shy" or suffering from "crippling shyness." I'm just shy. But I made it through two college degrees in music (both of which were performance intensive -- 4 lengthy solo recitals as well as numerous other performances, comprehensive oral exams, and presentations) and now I teach college. I am still a quiet person. I don't love being in the spotlight. But I have overcome my shyness to the point that I can teach private students and college classes. Within the past year, I have spoken at two major conventions (one national and one state), and given a workshop for a local organization. I also perform regular chamber recitals as a part of my job. Crippling shyness can be very debilitating. It wouldn't mean dysfunctional, necessarily, but it could interfere with living a normal life. If a potential partner cannot deal with that level of shyness, it would cause problems in a relationship. I think that shyness that is caused by a traumatic event could also be very, very difficult to overcome. I try not to judge anyone based on what I observe of them (shyness-wise) until I know them better. Post Reply

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