Author Thread: The Friendship question!
Nkatty

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The Friendship question!
Posted : 6 Apr, 2010 12:08 AM

Is there any one who doesn't believe that a relationship is build on friendship first?



I have heard of guys saying that its difficult to approach a lady whom they have befriended for a while....so.....can a great friendship turn into a relationship that can lead to marriage?

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The Friendship question!
Posted : 6 Apr, 2010 01:56 AM

inawezekana sis atamimi huvalue friendship kwanza though also women wengi ukata nikuwe beste yao kwanza wote wanataka relationship na commitment immidiately na me sis honestly me heart yangu huwa restless sa nakuhepa.me na believe na friendship first alafu na opinon ya God,its not about only vile una feel but also vile God anataka.me natafuta the best God anataka kunipatia

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The Friendship question!
Posted : 6 Apr, 2010 07:32 AM

Okay, maybe I just repeat what was said :glow:



The problem with being friends first might be that it can destroy the whole friendship approaching the woman then. Because if she isn't interested in more, there might always be something between the two, a burden to the friendship, so people might be afraid losing a great friendship.



God bless

De Benny

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The Friendship question!
Posted : 6 Apr, 2010 02:27 PM

I am looking for a friend first then more.

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SOS4EMAILFRIEND

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The Friendship question!
Posted : 7 Apr, 2010 06:04 AM

I agree with Abedjau that the friendship is on the line, when one starts to develop feelings for the other which might not be mutual. Continuing as just friends might be impossible.

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bcpianogal

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The Friendship question!
Posted : 7 Apr, 2010 08:00 AM

Ideally (for me, at least) a good relationship is built on a good friendship. I think it would be VERY hard, though, for a friendship to continue if a deeper relationship is attempted and fails, or if one person wants a deeper relationship and the other does not. It's one of those risks you have to consider and decide if you are willing to take. If it works out, it's great. If it doesn't, it hurts.

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Rabbit32

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The Friendship question!
Posted : 7 Apr, 2010 10:09 AM

I have always wondered how to avoid the friendship trap lol.

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The Friendship question!
Posted : 7 Apr, 2010 10:10 PM

I don't see the problem.



Perhaps my mind works differently. The way I see it is that if I have a very good friend (woman) and she tells me that she is falling in Love with me and I tell her that I do not feel the same...I would hope that she would be able to continue on as my very good friend.



Then again, I do not see that happening all that often. It is rare when a man and a woman become close friends without falling in Love with each other.



Now acquaintances is a different story. In that case I can see where something like that would make things "awkward".



But Very Close Friends I would think should be able to work something like this out. Don't ya think??



All those in agreement raise your hands.

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SOS4EMAILFRIEND

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The Friendship question!
Posted : 8 Apr, 2010 05:46 AM

Now I am confused



Close friends who are both open and free to a relationship might even hope to fall in love.



But what about friends who have made it clear that the friendship is just platonic. Or persons who have to work very closely together? I have been a secretary for many years and anyone who has been a CEO or secretary knows how initimate these working relations are. But there are also very strict rules. There is zero room for fooling around here!



I have very close male friends (ministers mainly) who are strictly a brother in christ. Some are even my personal teachers. We discuss "merely" biblical matters or issues concerning faith. It is clear to all concerned that there is a strictly platonic relationship. I can not imagine any of them nor me, even thinking of overstepping the line...

Because the answer is, no matter how deep the friendship is: NO BACK OFF



So I think one should always be clear about the intentions. If you want a LTR or a marriage partner, then of course you start with friendship however you know that this is not the purpose of the relationship. You cannot abuse the friendship if you know that people are after a LTR or marriage and only wanting to continue this friendship once the other has already developped feelings for you, saying, yes but we are only friends. I think this is not fair.



Starting a friendship is one thing

Starting a relationship, which of course starts off as a friendship, is something entirely diferent.



I find it very hard to believe that one does not know as of the beginning how one really feels about a person. One feels attracted or does not! It takes courage to search your heart though! But if you do not, you will wind up in very delicate and painful situations either causing pain or being deeply hurt yourself.

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The Friendship question!
Posted : 9 Apr, 2010 05:47 AM

Absolutely agree with SOS4EMAILFRIEND.



Of course in a relationship there is/should be friendship. I wonder how a relatinship ithout any friendship would be or even work.



But falling in love with a long time friend that was nothig but a friend all the time is something different, and that's what I understood the rimal question to be about.



Of course, when two people who are interested in one another get to know ne another there will be first some kind of friendship and then deeper love can develop. But I think that would be a different kind of friendship, at leats in the first time, than a yearslong friendship with somebody we like as a friend.



I know it the other way round, my ex is now a very good friend, and we both know we don't ever want anything more again...



God bless all of you

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Tulip89

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The Friendship question!
Posted : 9 Apr, 2010 04:56 PM

I think friends are meant to be friends. There's a reason we became friends and didn't date. I'm a fan of getting to know a girl well before we start dating, but if there was any interest, I would have pursued it when we met. A couple years down the road is no time to start trying to figure out if you have romantic potential. As guys, we get ourselves "stuck" in the friend zone by behaving too much like a girl's female friends and not enough like a real man.

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