Well, Ms. Isabell, I can't speak for all men, but I can speak for myself--being recently divorced.
I was married for 23 years. I did my dead-level best. I gave my all. I was always honest, hard working, put the needs and desires of my wife and son first. Always. I was committed to God. The whole bit. In the end it wasn't enough. I want bore you with the sobby details, but it wasn't my fault. I tried to get my wife help. Did everything I knew to do to save my marriage.
Long story short, yes I'm unhappy it dodn't work out but I'm not going to grab the first thing that comes along. I'm not going to rush into anything. I'm going to pray, make some improvements in my life, and maybe a nice, Christian women will come along. Eventually. If not, I had a happy marriage, or at least the first several years were. I am blessed with a handsome son. I've done well for myself. Who's to know what the future holds. Whatever happens, I'll give it my all.
I think all of this depends on the person. It took me a long time to "settle down". After my wife passed away in Jan 2000 I had to adjust to being alone. It was very difficult and I was incredibly lonely. I wanted someone to do things with but I felt it was inappropriate to do so. The first time I went out to dinner and a movie by myself was one of the weirdest things I had ever done. I started to feel desperate to have someone to be with. I didn't care about sowing my oats but just wanted a companion. I would have made a terrible companion though because I just didn't have my head on straight.
After a few months I started going out with women I knew as friends and that was ok because we weren't looking for a relationship and that took lots of stress off me. It was about five years before I started looking for a new relationship and now it has been five years since I started. I had to learn who I was without my wife, what my priorities are now as a single man, what direction my life might take from here and how I will be a successful and fruitful husband.
In your search you need to find a man that can answer the hard questions you have for him. (you don't have to ask them of him directly but you should have them in mind) I would take the time to write these things down so you can ponder them and know exactly what you think your needs and desires are for the man that is right for you. If he can't fill your needs satisfactorily then he is not the one for you or if you feel he just needs a little time then maybe you can continue the relationship with that in mind or let him go so he can work it out. There is only one of you and he should know it and honor you for it.
Keep this in mind too. Compromise always leads to being disappointed in yourself. When you have this kind of disappointment it is difficult to find any good in someone or something else. Maintain who and what you are and be confident that Father will guide you into the relationship that is right for you.
Many (if not all) of those divorced men, while being recently divorced -- were in fact "divorced" for quite a while (Emotionally and Spirtually). Their relationships were most likely devoid of Love...Companionship...Intimacy and GOD!
So...once they get away from that situation and find themselves with a beautiful young woman and the possobility of having all their hopes and asperations met...well -- it's like the Flood Gates being thrown open!!
They will literally "leap" into that relationship...like a starving man and a plate full of steak and potatos (sour cream...please).
It is only after they come out of their "Love Straved" stupor, that they begin to realize that this was the way they felt with their last Love...the one they married and they become confused and a bit gun shy.
They fail to realize that their feelings are the same, but the Woman is not the same.
This is just one possible scenario out of several.
It's like weeding your lawn. You need to "Pull" the weeds out by the roots or they will return. Some "issues" are deep rooted and take a lot of time and effort.
After reading your profile -- I believe that you will (quite quickly) find that person you seek.
I was married for about 5 years.Most of my life I was single.
Maybe I married because partly my life was getting boring. I loved her and was a good husband, however I think she did not really love me.She said as much when she left.
As for other women I want some one different than me. She has to have a one in a million personality.
hey, Ole Cattle no jokes today.
You should have the attitude that there is only one of you and not one on every corner and tell the other person that.
many who have been on this site for awhile know that I am a clown. Dennis
