I was reading the Single Parents thread and a comment there created a question I'm curious about.
Far too many girls (Christians no exception) have bought into the value the world places on females. It is truly heartwrenching to see beautiful young girls buying into a value system that will use them up and spit them out, leaving them starving for what they truly are in need of: acceptance as the person God created.
I believe men hold responsibility in this. Christian men: how much value do you put on a woman's looks? If you met an attractive young woman, married her, and two years later she was involved in a car accident that mangled her face, would you have enough of the Spirit to stick by her side selflessly?
Or, would you run like the rest of the world? And, if you insist you would stick by her, then would you ever take the time to get to know her if she was involved in the accident as a child?
I pray for HIS strength to be with you, Lilfeather.
I'm going to try to tackle this one so please bare with me.
I think we all put some value in a person's appearance. You want buy a car without driving it but it's the appearance that catches you. You won't buy a book unless you open it and read it's contents but it's the cover that catches your eye. When you plant flowers do you pick the ones that are half dead?
Now the committed part of your questions; marriage is a life time partnership through good & bad, sickness & good health, richer or poorer. I hold these values in high regard and honor.
I'm not fond of catergorizing and 'run like the rest of the world' seems to sum this up. I for one, don't see that many that run when their spouse is severly injured, secular or believers, male or female. I'm sure there are some but I haven't seen many.
...'then would you ever take the time to get to know her if she was involved in the accident as a child?'
This dear lady is a very hypocritical question. Certainly, you would know her if you were going to marry her and her past wouldn't matter as it shouldn't in emotional situations.
I hope this helps, Lilfeather and thanks, I think you gave me a headache. GOD bless.
Perhaps the intensity of my question comes across more severely than I intended. Please forgive me. Also, please forgive me for the generality. I admit the post should have been better thought out.
The point was introspection. There are situations like this that happen, unfortunately, and I was merely using them as an example.
My point of the accident happening in childhood is, would you be willing to approach a woman in that situation to begin with? Or, is it merely physical attraction that draws a man?
Tomie, I understand your point about choosing flowers that are alive and not half-dead. I am wondering about seeing Beauty through the Life.
Answering your first question, "How much value do you put on a woman's looks?":
For me, looks are important, but do not determine if I am attracted to a woman overall. Meaning...if I meet a woman I need to initially find her physically attractive or else I wouldn't be talking to her, right?...no, just kiddin'...seriously, I need to initially find her physically attractive then through conversation and the whole process of actually getting to know her, I then determine if she has "inside beauty". Inside beauty" to me is an overall positive attitude, among other "inside qualities" I find attractive. I will admit that I am attracted to inside beauty much more than physical beauty. Because a beautiful heart is what makes a woman even more beautiful on the outside.
So, to answer your question...personally, a woman's looks (outside) carry a less value than a woman's heart (inside).
This is random, but all this talk reminds me of a quote, "A woman is not loved because she is beautiful, but she is beautiful because she is loved."
Now, to comment on your "face accident" example. In my opinion, if a man is truly in love with his wife and a terrible accident disfigures her face, he would have no problem in staying. Obviously, it would be tough adjustment for the man and especially tough for the woman for obvious reasons, but he would stay because true love involves staying by your spouse's side through the tough times, despite how tough the times.
Now, if he left...does that mean he didn't really love her? Hopefully, no. To be a man in that situation requires you to be able to provide large amounts of emotional support for your wife...AND...requires you to find and maintain emotional strength within yourself. If a man couldn't do either, then he would leave because he was overwhelmed.
Your asking a worldly question. You cant transcend to a discussion of the Spirit through worldly means. If you have to ask this question, I fear you have never met a true man of God. I say this because if you had, you would know that any man or woman of Christ bears the fruit of the Spirit to which the will of our Father is made known to us. If you have the Spirit one can only assume you do two of the things God asks of us: Trust and Obay. Thus, if God moved the Holy Spirit to put two people together, nothing wordly would interfear with that... not race nor looks nor wealth.
However I believe that NOT ONLY women fall into the value system of society today. Men face problems with that as well (specifically in deciding how to treat a woman and how to stay pure). I have seen in my few years as a young adult how easy it can be for a man (or woman) to fall into the craft snares of Satan and his "new value system." What one must realize however is that we are not of this world; which is easier said than practiced. I will admit that every male looks for a good looking woman to marry. But that should be a second (or third priority depending on how one looks at it) to her belief in Christ's salvation and her character (defined by me as: What one does when they THINK no one is watching-b/c someone always is watching).
I genuinely pray that an accident of that caliber does not happen to anyone's loved one; but should it happen I then pray for the strength to continue. I have not seen any better example than that of my aunt who stays by my uncles side (and will continue to stay) through his 20+ years of dealing with MS. It has put him in a wheel chair and he has lost almost all of his fine motor skills (he has essentially destroyed their house with his motor-chair) but she still loves him. That is the type of love that BOTH the woman and the man should strive to commit to their spouse!
RunningwithChrist - that is a beautiful example of whole-hearted commitment. Thank you for sharing it.
I agree, the value system does get skewed by both sexes. And, it is seeing the results of that, especially in our young people, whenever we are with our church group that just breaks my heart and gets me to questioning what more I can do to allow these beautiful young people see themselves as God does.
I can't exactly speak for others...only my own thoughts.
A woman's appearance is somewhat important in that as much as she can do with it relates to her identity.
Scarring of some kind of major magnitude would affect anyone's identity...but so do certain career choices.
Chances are that I am not going to find much in common with a coat check girl at the local strip club.
And I have dated women that have had some kind of supposed disfigurement...but their identities were such that whatever physical imperfections that they had never touched who they really were...and so...they are still my friends to this day...I met a woman once that where she had been in a car accident and had recieved a facial scar from it...the only time you could see it was in certain lighting situations and even then barely once it had been pointed out...but to her it was a complete identity changer...she was extremely pretty...but that scar was too much for her identity to overcome.
all depends upon the person..
and when breaking up many people say really horrible things just to hurt the other person...doesn't make that right either.
