Author	Thread: Friends or Lovers
Admin	Friends or Lovers Posted : 7 Mar, 2010 02:14 PM So many people jump into relationships without being friends first. Why is that? Can you have a great relationship with a potential lifetime partner without being his or her friend first? The most incredible relationship I have had was with my former best friend, who I have been best friends with since 2nd grade. So maybe there is some truth to that. Problem: The problem with the friends first issue. Is when you are just friends with the person and you have feelings for him or her. Nothing can truly be said because you are being " Friends First". Hold your tongue when your "friend" dates other ppl. That is when "Friends First" bites you in the butt. Give me your insight on this topic. Thanks Post Reply
View Profile History	Friends or Lovers Posted : 7 Mar, 2010 03:47 PM I think every relationship has it's own nature and character. So you have to know what each one is about. My Grandfather walked into his new church and saw a woman across the room and instantly knew he would marry her. They were married in less than a year and stayed married for over 50 years. My mom had a similar experience with a man she married and so did I. So I think people can get into a relationship very quickly and it will work out. Why can't you have the chemistry of a romantic relationship and develop your friendship at the same time? Thunder Post Reply
Prov31_Lady View Profile History	Friends or Lovers Posted : 7 Mar, 2010 05:49 PM I agree with thunder - friendship can (and should) be developed while dating. Think about it - dates are basically just hanging out with a "friend" except you have the added element of being alone (sometimes) and adding a little romance. But you're still developing a friendship with that person. Post Reply
View Profile History	Friends or Lovers Posted : 8 Mar, 2010 07:13 AM everybody's different. so is every relationship. so i think it's possible to start at any point on the friends or lovers spectrum, and that as the relationship grows and gets refined both move to the middle so it's a balance. friends and lovers are just 2 dynamics to what defines you as a couple in my opinion. and within those dynamics are other dynamics and so on. it's hard to think of bigger ones than friends and lovers though. Post Reply
View Profile History	Friends or Lovers Posted : 8 Mar, 2010 11:40 AM You can not reach the "Lover" stage without going through thr "Friend" stage. There can be a tremendous attraction in the begining and many "signs' that this person is the one, but you do not Fall In LOve from day one...it takes time and in the meantime -- you become friends. I would consider my wife my Best Friend and Confidant. Post Reply
blommetjie View Profile History	Friends or Lovers Posted : 9 Mar, 2010 07:55 AM It is true, that when you say "friends first please" then it actually means i am free to look around, 'cause we're just friends. I Believe there should be a mutual understanding between both parties. In songs of solomen it says "do not awaken love untill it satisfies" so according to this scripture, I'd say its good to be friends first. But you should move to the next level when you are both comfortable with it. The best would be to say "I am really interested in you and would like to get to know you" and then talk about it regularly so that both know where they stand. And if you think "he's not that into you" then confront in a subtle way. I believe the most important thing on net dating is to be absolutely honest. Its not worth lying. BUT THE MOST IMPORTANT IS TO DO EVERYTHING PRAYERFULLY! :prayingm: Post Reply
kaylaj View Profile History	Friends or Lovers Posted : 9 Mar, 2010 05:58 PM I really believe that one should be friends first. i would like to know that a man likes me for who I am. ~When one jumps right into a relationship too quickly it could be mistaken for lust. Lust often cloud and mask the real person. What happens when the lust fades out? you may start to see flaws in people. When one becomes friends friend you will share a unique experience when it's time to enter into an intimate relationship at least we would both go into that relationship with our eyes wide open and mutually. Post Reply
IamIsabel View Profile History	Friends or Lovers Posted : 13 Mar, 2010 07:34 PM If you can be friends then maybe you can be more. Not the other way around. I always say friends first. I have been seeing a "friend" for a few weeks. I've known him for months and we have only been friends and still are. We have "dirt" on each other but still respect each other. Don't know if we will ever take it further. He is attracted to other females and also to me. I talk to other people, so what. We are not committed to each other in a serious relationship. As our friendship grows maybe something will change. If you are at the point where you are not liking the guy to date other females maybe it's time to let him know how you feel. If he rejects the idea, stay friends and by all means date other men! Just don't try to make him jealous. Listen to what he TELLS you. I have learned that men can be attracted to a woman physically and want her touch (hold hands, snuggle, whatever) but not want a serious relationship with her. He is a MAN and men are attracted to pretty ladies even if her personality sucks. He is going to look. Post Reply
View Profile History	Friends or Lovers Posted : 15 Mar, 2010 11:02 AM dear isabel,, heres a little advice .. your words here Don't know if we will ever take it further. He is attracted to other females and also to me. I talk to other people, so what. We are not committed to each other in a serious relationship. As our friendship grows maybe something will change. mine here i dont forsee anything changin if you keep it status quo with this guy.. i believe that until you can see this man as someone you want to committ to and see how it goes from there.. i just dont see how the relationship can change into something more.. i mean he thinks you dont care and you think he dont care.. ya see what i mean.. thats not the way one can open the door to their hearts.. ole cattle Post Reply