I find it very hard to find a good christian mate. Because of that I have been single for the past ten years. I have been propositioned by many men who are not christians and growing up with the belief that believers should not be unequally yoked I refused to be drawn into such relationship. I am now wondering if I have made drastic mistakes because it is easier to find men who are non christians than christians. I would really like to know if other ladies have gone through the same problem. I would also like to know if I should give up my search for the perfect christian mate and open myself to any possible relationship without compromising my christian faith.
Kaylaj - there are Good Christain men and possible mates everywhere...an as women we should be seeking only those that are on the same page of the book as us.
Please don't even concider compromisin your Faith or Convictions out of bein alone...No Man is worth the loss of Our personal relationship with the Lord Jesus...
I agree with Loony...seek in those areas within the body of Christ an as my Pastor says..." You will find your Mate in the field"...hava a Blessed day and hang in there...xo
define christian. i know alot of people who would not consider themselves christian but who have the same values (morals, ethics etc) as we do. you are definitely limiting yourself and charting a course for your life, you have to ask yourself if that is what God wants for you. is it self will, or is it God's will? did he tell you to wait? did you talk to him about what your searching for? do you know what your looking for?
are you trying to fill some sort of checklist, if so, what was the basis of the qualities on that list? i find that we have expectations based on culture or tradition and yes....religion. when all we have to do is sit at the feet of God and talk with him, he'll answer.
sometimes i ponder calling myself a christian also because i do not follow any strict guidelines. i talk to God about everything and then make a decision, as far as i know most people would not consider me a christian
nyanda
ps ten years? if he told you to wait, then i guess it's not such a long time :purpleangel:
"Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness? Or what harmony has Christ with Belial, or what has a believer in common with an unbeliever? Or what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; just as God said, 'I will dwell in them and walk among them; and I will be their God, and they shall be My people. Therefore, come out from their midst and be separate,' says the Lord. 'And do not touch what is unclean; And I will welcome you. And I will be a Father to you, and you shall be sons and daughters to Me,' Says the Lord Almighty." (2 Corinthians 6:14-18)
I was recently talking to a female Christian friend of mine. She's been married all her life, has five kids, fifteen grand kids, has a double masters in ecumenical studies, and does a lot of work with Catholic social services.
When we got on the subject of the problem you expressed, she actually gave me an answer that somewhat surprised me, as well as made me laugh.... quite hysterically, I might add...
"The thing I notice in today's modern Christian woman is... that the only REAL difference between her and God is.... God isn't walking the planet pretending to be HER..."
I just have to ask... you mean in ten years... TEN.. you've not met ONE Christian man worthy of you?? Not one?? Interesting. Seems to be pandemic among a lot of Christian women these days. We Christian men must be just 'diseased' or something.
I just read your profile.... I think it's admirable that you are a lawyer and continuing further education. And your efforts to write a book in the near future as well are quite commendable. I can imagine all that independent scheduling to further yourself takes up a LOT of your time in any one given day. I can also manage to see how it would be hard to fit in a really good Christian man who might just take some of that time away from your individual pursuits... I mean... we only have one life on this planet, don't we? We should grab it for all the gusto we can...
I think it's probably hard for any ONE person on a FORUM to give you an answer you seek unless we were to follow you around on a daily basis to find out why you are having this problem
Would you be willing to follow Jesus even if it cost you everything? Even a mate? If you are then everything will work for your good. I know, easier said than done.
and folks as for the question im in agreemence with piano as to youve probably already passed by many christian men who would of made you a wonderful husband..
if you are seeking perfection i doubt youll ever find it..
find you a good man, a christian man and one thats capable of loving you and treating you good.. remember that marriages are hard work to keep them together but well worth it.. sometimes you just gotta figure out what you can live with .. some habits are annoying hehe but i am a firm believer in the old sayin that behind every good man is a good woman..
so even if he aint perfect in every sence.. if you love him and treat him right i believe he will in return try his best to be the best man he can be for you.. a man will wanna make you proud of him in this case.
so therefore you the good woman can in turn help make him a better man..
Please don't get me wrong guys, i am NOT seeking a 'perfect man" neither am I too independent to seek a guy.. That is not my problem. Please don't judge me based on what you've read in my post. I mean it when I said that it's hard for me to find a good christian guy - yeas I have been single for ten years because i have not been looking for all the ten years - to be frank I just started 'looking' maybe three years ago. I spend alot of time at church and with my studies yes and wasn't looking but now that I am it has been hard. i have not passed good guys by because i do not think of myself as being perfect. i am a child of God and I do not think of myself more highly than I ought to but i don't think i should settle for any and everyone. Everyone i'm sure really wants someone who is a genuine and God fearing person.
One of the problems that I always witness in "ask a guy" sections of most ANY forum on the web, is that the questions presented by women border on "nebulus" at best, mixed with a slight tinge of "what is THEIR problem....how come they're too dumb to want ME." So again, I thank you for a bit more elaboration.
Again...I going to emphasize that it is very hard for anybody to pinpoint your particular dilemma. But I think I can add just a bit of a broader scope that I've witnessed in my life, and the life of most Christian men these days... Certain things are worth considering.
First...I would suspect there are plenty of "Good Christian men" at your avail. I'm not sure what churches in your country do to promote connecting singles with each other... but I can assure you, that on a daily basis, I'm surrounded by 'good Christian single men'. Every day I receive an email from my church "men's group".... and in each email is usually a request for a 'need' that a particular woman has... and the men spring into action. "single mom needs help moving...volunteers are appreciated"...."single mom needs a washer or somebody to fix hers...".. Trust me... they are there.
Second...but probably more important...I also noticed you are in the UK. Being that I've been there many times, and being that I read constantly about the goings on in your country.... And also, being that you are an attorney, I would like to point out, that it must be EXTREMELY hard for any good woman, particularly any good CHRISTIAN woman in your country, to actually find a good Christian man willing to step up to the plate now. Because the truth is... Christianity is under literal SIEGE in your country. It was being debased to almost non existence. It is more concerned with giving rights to other religions in favor of 'neutrality' than it is to preserve certain fundamentals of those who remain Christian in their morals and every day life.
Add to that, the complete disparity going on in the civil courts there. Surely, you must know what goes on in the court systems there. Particularly when it comes to divorce, division of assets, and child custody cases. Feminism is even worse in your country than it is here across the pond.
Since men thrive on "logic".... the logical Christian man is coming to a few painful conclusions, against his own inate will and need for a 'good Christian woman', in favor of the need for "self preservation".... He knows he has two things going very much against him in his own pursuit to be the man that a good Christian woman claims to want.
He first is..... "A man"..... after that... He is a "Christian"
He already knows he will not win favor in the court systems for being a man. But being a CHRISTIAN MAN will certainly amount to the 'kiss of death' should the woman just decide that he didn't meet her expectations. God will NOT come down from the skies and protect him from 'civilian court'. The Christian man has literally had to go "underground", again, simply in the need for self preservation.
This Sunday marks a huge event in our country: The Superbowl. And one of the most controversial topics for this year's game is that of the commercial that CBS has chosen to air in favor of promoting "PRO LIFE". The "PRO CHOICE" people have waged war against this ad featuring Tim Tebow (a very good young athlete who is unashamed to promote his Christianity in the ever popular 'non secular' sports world). The "pro choicers" (again, mostly run by 'women's rights' organizations) just can't let it die. They now need to make their OWN spot....calling the "pro life" ad "SUPPRESIVE TO WOMEN".....
The saddest part in all of this is.... "God filled Christian women" in our country are not RISING up to tell these groups to finally say "SHUT UP!! WE ARE TIRED OF IT." Imagine what it's like to be a Christian man who sees that the women we want will not DEMAND that they want MORE of what Christian men TRULY represent.
And this just involves something so unimportant as a SUPERBOWL...
To most Christian men now... we tend to notice that Christian women are MORE concerned and focused in the wrong direction.... with trying to "make the man a BETTER man"....when what their focus.... in DROVES, I might add.... should be to make more women...... BETTER WOMEN.
I'm hoping you're understanding that the problem is not so much YOU.... or that Christian men DON'T exist... It would be a shame to see you feeling you have to 'settle' for some man who may not be "equally yoked"... But until certain socio issues start being handled to increase true parity between not only the sexes... but religious preference... it will be nothing but understandable as to why you feel you are looking for the proverbial 'needle in the haystack'....
Perhaps your knowledge of the legal system will be used as an instrument to start a change of sorts so that Christian men and women can start getting what they want and need....
You seem like a good girl. It's hard to find anybody. All you can do is your best and get better. The more time you put in the more likely you are to find a good Christian guy. Don't give up and don't settle for less than what you want/need. God bless, Sis. :glow:
