Question to you men? What is the status pro when you begin communicating with us women for a good bit of time, like a month of daily communicating, and then you just �stop�� not a word of what�s going on with you? We write you, yet you don�t respond, you don�t answer. We�ve developed a friendship, then, all of a sudden you just stop writing with no explanation at all. What are we to do or think? We think communications going swell, and just expecting things to build up into something more, then walla� nothing!
I ask that question, because I have befriended more women on this site than I have male friends, and a few have private messaged me to share their hearts about experiences with men on this site. They are hurting and a few have lost there enthusiasm with what direction to now take. They are discouraged and don�t understand what�s happened.
I have not been here very long either, and can say I did have a special friendship developing (I think) but the gent was kind enough to tell me, there was another person of special interest that had his priority. I personally appreciated that better than perhaps me messaging and he never replying back�
Guys, that�s an awkward feeling. Sometimes we women divulge a lot to you about who we are. We want to share with you who we are, what we feel, and we hope and are all in anticipation that you are going to be the same with us. I know sometimes it doesn�t work out that way, but I know it can.
"gentle" and more mindful in your actions with us women here. And yes, I know that there a lot of women who do the same, but I don�t think we women are all about that. I just wanted to post to let you know some women have been hurt here. (And men too I�m sure)
Now I�ve replied basically the same message to both my friends� "Accept that that one is over, and continue. It's a hard thing to do especially because you probably cared, for certain, a lot more than he did. Go back and review how things went with you and the level of progression, then step back and analyze the things you know you don't want to repeat in the next new friendship.
Correction to - "gentle" and more mindful in your actions with us women here. And yes, I know that there a lot of women who do the same, but I don�t think we women are all about that. I just wanted to post to let you know some women have been hurt here. (And men too I�m sure)
Shouldn've been- "I just ask, that you be gentle with us women here. And yes, I know that there a lot of women who do the same, but I don�t think we women are all about that. I just wanted to post to let you know some women have been hurt here. (And men too I�m sure) "
When we contact someone here on this site, we do so because there was something about that person that attracted us. We know virtually nothing about them and we would like to learn more. There are others that we feel the same way about and we contact them also, so we could eventually have several people that we are speaking to.
You gave very good advice in an earlier thread where you wrote that it would be a good idea and possibily save some heartache by mentioning right at the start that you are speaking to other people that you are interested in also.
I think that is excellent advice.
Now as to why some men don't have the courtesy to say goodbye and end a relationship is usually because they are Cowards or they are Inconsiderate.
When I have had to do something like end a very good friendship that could very easily become something more; I found it extremely painful ( to the point of tears) and oh so difficult to do. It was hard for obvious reasons -- the genuine affection and real possibilty of it progressing further and the thought of perhaps never speaking to them again, but it had to be done and so I did.
But there are some that I think did not care as much as they led on and they took the easy way out -- leaving more pain than should have been left.
Others are just plain rude and selfcentered and then of course there always is the possibilty of them being wisked away by aliens.
There are immature men here...children in adult bodies playing with adults...but eventually acting like the immature children that they are (you know who you are -- if you don't know... email me...I'll tell you you're immature).
GraceMae...I have to believe that God is grooming a Tall Dark Angel especially for you, because you are deserving.
Not to be critical of you; But your bio says that your
"well proportioned" and your photo shows you as a "thin lady"
Alot of times I'll think that what she is writting sounds too go to be true, in that case, shes only telling me what I want to hear, which again tells me that she is not from the U.S.
You have to understand that we have been so mislead from woman claiming to be from a certain state, then finding out later that their father & mother are working in Africa or overseas and they came to the US for school or something like that.
To me; its a trust issue and attitude. Does she fully explain an answer when asked. Does she respond to questions with simple Yes - No answers. Does she volunteer information without being asked.
And the photo: If theirs no-photo on the profile, but their are group photos within the profile, how are we to know which one you are. As well as those that describe themselves as being Large, Voluptous, Small, Skinny and are not actually what they claim is also very misleading.
The one I love is when the lady defines herself as being of "average" weight and she's 100 pounds overweight.
And the woman that look 18-30 and they want a guy of Any Age.
- Randy, yes...thanks for the "thin lady" compliment. Yes, I started out well porportioned, but Weight Watchers helped me drop 34 pounds last year so I guess I might change to thin. You made me blush.... Seriously thanks for you input.
- Arch... as always, I appreciate you, and yes-- I am waiting for my "Angel" He might not be dark though... He knows who he is, just got to make up his mind
you may want to consider that if the guy is messaging a lot of people, he may forget one or two women.
i think the ladies need to keep in mind that just because they start talking with someone doesn't mean that that person has cut off all other options and is soley conversing with you.
but being up front and diligent would help for you ladies so that is a valid gripe.
Dennis, Fury... thanks for your input. Also valuable. I'm learning more and more each day. You all have been blessings. You take time to read and respond to our questions and give us honest feedback. That is respectable, and really what lets us see inside who you are too, a definite measure of integrity and character! God bless you--all of you. ~ GraceMae
The funny thing is it is hard to get a lady to write me more than a few weeks.I do not know why most of the time. Only 2 of the ladies said they found somebody.Dennis
" you may want to consider that if the guy is messaging a lot of people, he may forget one or two women"
... maybe the ladies got a lot of men they are messaging and they forget? Might be that way with the ladies. Maybe the men, (gender reversing here with what fury said) need to keep in mind that just because they start talking with men doesn't mean that they cut off all other options and you're the only one.
I really do believe that if we (men and women) find someone that we think is "the one" we should be kind enough to alert all other persons of contact of that possibility right at the onset. That builds more on your character and integrity regardless of whether the potential relationship happens or not. That level of openness says much to the character/trust/integrity we see confirmed or fake in them.
