Author	Thread: ques for both men & women: how do you decide to pursue marriage
Admin	ques for both men & women: how do you decide to pursue marriage Posted : 6 Dec, 2009 08:56 PM This question is for both men and women. I wasn't sure where to ask it. To move your life from being a single person to being a married person takes a lot of work and there are a lot of risks involved. My question is: how do you figure out if it is worth it to pursue a marriage relationship? Or to ask a different way: what is your thought process whereby you come to the conclusion that "yes I should try to find someone and get married." I especially want to know from someone who has had a bad previous relationship experience, like a difficult divorce. I assume people approach this "risk analysis" in different ways and I just wanted to hear the different methods and thinking that people have. Of course, I am basing this question on the assumption that people actually do think this through. thanks for your feedback..... -- pal123 Post Reply
View Profile History	ques for both men & women: how do you decide to pursue marriage Posted : 6 Dec, 2009 09:31 PM dear pal, welcome to the forums. i think once you finally get over that bad relationship and are able to put it behind you, thats when you can begin to think of seeking out a relationship again.. remember ya cant get to the future holding on tight to your past.. ole cattle Post Reply
View Profile History	ques for both men & women: how do you decide to pursue marriage Posted : 6 Dec, 2009 11:19 PM thanks ole cattle, so you seem to say that you or people in general just instinctively seek to be in a marriage relationship, is that right? fair enough. i know that God said "it is not good for man (or woman) to be alone..." But do you personally ever ask: "Is seeking a marriage relationship really worth all the effort and risk (emotionally and otherwise)? Perhaps I can be more happy as a single person....perhaps it's just God's will that I remain single..." I think the Bible refers to being married as a God-given gift but being single as a valid God-given gift too. Post Reply
View Profile History	ques for both men & women: how do you decide to pursue marriage Posted : 7 Dec, 2009 12:30 PM dear pal, youre welcome.. you know if you dont want to get married and remain single theres nothin wrong with that either.. you know paul said he wished everyone was like him and single.. youre able to keep your focus more on the LORD than on your family and all.. i never think ofrelationships and marriage as not worth it.. if you got the want toos and find the right one. there could be nothing better.. but if you aint got the want toos then dont do it.. cause you dont have to.. just dont let the fear of being hurt and feeling the pain stop you from possibly findin the one that you will recieve way wayyyyyyy more joy in being with and recieving all the blessings that come with her.. but again if youre happy and content being single.. nothin wrong with that either... be happy my brother as life is way too short.. ole cattle Post Reply
View Profile History	ques for both men & women: how do you decide to pursue marriage Posted : 7 Dec, 2009 03:45 PM I second the motion, Cattleman. What a joy that we serve a communicating Father who loves us better than any flesh and blood person ever will! Certainly when we ask His eternal wisdom about our concerns for this vale of tears, He is happy to teach us. Just wait. Psalm 62. P Post Reply
View Profile History	ques for both men & women: how do you decide to pursue marriage Posted : 7 Dec, 2009 07:41 PM i think it depends on yourself. I know people who have been single a number of years and don't date and don't plan to remarry. Now, me on the other hand, as i just told my mother (78yrs old), that i'm still boy crazy. I love men. So i don't see me as staying single. I figured that out when i was in college. Grew up with alot of people and preferred my personal house with people in it. I've never had a problem with private time when living with people. Also, i describe myself as a pack animal where i need to be part of and belong to a pack. I just moved closer to extended family and i am loving it because (uninvited) i just drop by one of my sister's, brother or my mother's place every week, along with having neices visiting with my little grands nieces. :buddies:. Post Reply
david3by9 View Profile History	ques for both men & women: how do you decide to pursue marriage Posted : 9 Dec, 2009 09:50 AM I have a filter that I take my relationships through. That and a most important element, time is necessary to see how I and the prospective spouse relate through many different seasons and circumstances. 1. Of course it is a matter of prayer and seeking God's will 2. Next I apply God's word, can I in good conscious marry them. 3. I want to know how my family and friend view this person. That is not to say that everyone has to agree, but if everyone thinks they are not good for me, I better think again. 4. Do I have peace in my spirit about that individual. 5. How do they relate with my church family. 6. I submit my desires to spiritual authority and if we get to that point, premarital counseling. 7. There are some helpful ways to match how well two people will do in a marriage with great accuracy. Marriage is a very important decision, so with God's help, wise counsel, accurate thought process, and time we can have God direct our path. In all our ways acknowledge Him and He will direct our paths. Post Reply
View Profile History	ques for both men & women: how do you decide to pursue marriage Posted : 16 Dec, 2009 05:57 AM From what I have read and experienced it takes on average 4 to 8 years to be healed from the walking wounded and some people never heal from a relationship gone bad. Tomlane Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	ques for both men & women: how do you decide to pursue marriage Posted : 16 Dec, 2009 03:34 PM I don't believe that I've actually given much thought to how I decided to pursue marriage. I just know that I want to be a wife and mother (in that order), so I want to get married. I've not always felt that way -- for a few years after my dad died (I was 12 when he died), I was determined NOT to get married. I saw what my mom went through, and I wanted to avoid ever going through that myself. But, my parents had a great marriage, and at some point I realized that I wanted that too. I know that the path to marriage, and even marriage itself, won't be easy, but I'm willing to put myself out there and face the risks in my pursuit of marriage. Post Reply