i've been with a few people from this website, and they have all been very nice. i was with each for about 2 months, when they all change their feelings all of a sudden. with one, i really thought everything was going to work out...i felt like he was 'the one'. he told me how much he loved everything about me, planned out our house, etc....and then one day he just went off the deep end.
this happens almost with every guy i'm with & i dont understand. its not like i was prodding him to say these things or think these things, either. they go from caring so much about you to all of a sudden wanting nothing to do with you...
why do guys do this? it hurts so much. i invest a lot of time and emotion in these relationships to constantly be hurt...its made me have trouble trusting all the other guys who start talking with me. i'm so paranoid that they're going to do the same thing. it really hurts & i dont understand why guys run away all the sudden after they tell you how much you mean to them. why do they get scared? why do these guys want to be on this website & then never follow through with anything? its so very hurtful...is there something wrong with me? i mean, i know i'm worthy of something, but why does this keep happening? its like i'm a magnet for these guys who dont know what they want.
dear starr, youre givin way too much of youself and heart into a relationship thats only been goin on less than or even two months.. plannin ones house together in that length of time is just way too soon for most folks...
you are a deserving lady.. one that deserves the very best for you.. take your time and really get to know someone first.. and that does take time.. a man that either gets scaird on you or he is seein or found someone else... either trait is not one you want in a mate.. so its good you found this out now.. rather than later..
you asked the question why? its because he didint have what it takes to make a relationship stick.. , no loyalty, no honesty , with himself or you.. and no thoughts of your heart... to disappear for no real reason..
there are ones that will stick with you out there. just keep searchin.. sooner or later the GOOD LORD willin youll find one of them..
remember most folks can keep up their best behavior for 6 months ,and some even longer.. but eventually over time they will show their real fruits..
There is chaff with the wheat. You may just be finding more chaff then wheat. There may be many reasons why those guys did what they did. Imaturity is perhaps the main reason. Saying what they think you want to hear, for their own agenda -- who knows.
If you've objectively critiqued yourself and truly find no fault or reason for their actions -- then stamp their dust off your sandals and move on.
Cry -- scream -- beat your pillow into submission, but do not let them take away the Peace you have In Christ. get it out and then continue on your walk. This may not be the last time. I believe everyone goes through things like this. Don't give up on men because of a few misfits. You have a wonderful smile...so smile -- God Loves ya!
Peace
Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.
"Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus," gives the best explination I've seen. Men are like rubber bands.
Men are streached emotionally in relationships and they need to retreat into their "Cave" to streach back. Women think they are no longer loved when this happens but it is more a case of the man needing to think through his feelings. Women generally do not have this problem because emotions easier for them. :yay: Women are different from men.
Before you get serious be a friend for about a year.Feel that other person out.Anyone who runs after 2 months may of wanted a different relationship that they did not get.I think you know what I mean.A guy who waits likes you for who you are.The person!!!!!!
What you are is a woman,guys who leave quickly only wanted you for one thing.They are shallow!:peace: It takes time to get to know somebody.Good rule- just friends for the 1st year.Maybe good friends,But just friends.:hearts::dancingp::rocknroll:
You have received a lot of good advise from these men of God. I can only reiterate that you should take more time in getting to know them and always guard your heart. Do not give your heart away so quickly and easily. Start out as friends and do not proceed beyond that until he has proven himself to you and you to him. I don't know the age of the guys you were dating but look and see if it a common denominator. Look back and see if these young men were similar in some way. If there is a pattern with all of them doing the same thing in leaving you, maybe you are picking the same type of men. If that is so it is time to change. You might want to consider dating men a little bit older if these were about your same age.
Was their walk with Christ reflective in their life?
Did they display spiritual leadership?
Did they have good relationships with their parents?
Did they have friends other than online?
How were their friends? Were they Christians too?
Were they involved in any Church functions and ministries?
Did they display good fruit?
Did they show any instability in any aspect of their life?
What I don't understand is when you meet someone and they tell you that they are interested in getting to know you more and then in the midst of all the talking and getting to know each other, the guy just dissapears. No txt, no phone call, no e-mail, no nothing. If you are not interested, be honest and tell us ladies. We are big girls, we can handle it. Don't play us like fools.
