Author	Thread: What should I do in this situation
HazelEyesSparkle View Profile History	What should I do in this situation Posted : 19 Jan, 2025 07:52 PM There is a guy I work with and at first, he used to be kind of rude to me. When he would talk to me and my group, he would talk to all of my coworkers but me. I noticed it one time and decided it was best to just start ignoring him, not to get a rise, but so that I could just move on with my life. He got affected by my behavior because as soon as I started to ignore, he started talking to me and I mentioned something that to this day I think he thought I was mad about, when in reality, I was ticked off about the ignoring part. After that moment, I just decided to kill the whole situation with kindness. Fast forward to today, we talk a bit, smile, and make eye contact. I can tell there is an emotional investment with him and he does show classic signs like staring, he has made physical contact with me before, etc. I can tell he likes me. Something strange though happened recently, and I can’t quite understand it. I notice he is wearing a gold band ring on his left hand which is new. At first, I thought he got married but as far as I know he is single. It got me thinking but I know one of my guy friends also wears a gold ring on his wedding finger, but he is not married (I know because he has told me multiple times he is single). They are both different cultures (guy friend and guy I like) so I am not sure if this is a cultural thing so I didn’t jump to conclusions. A week ago, I got really sick and when I got back to work, he was the only person that really, really cared and went out of his way to help me with returning back to work duties. He told me to please stay safe and healthy and I said thank you and that I truly appreciated it and he was acting in a caring way that I’ve never seen before. He then asked me recently “are you feeling better?” genuinely concerned and said I’ll come to you to help me with a task. He has just been acting really nice to me lately which I appreciate, but I don’t want to be too friendly if he is actually married. What should I do? Post Reply
LittleDavid View Profile History	What should I do in this situation Posted : 20 Jan, 2025 05:41 PM Just be friendly in the same way you would be friendly with any other coworker. You have no reason to proceed into a deeper relationship. First, You don’t know if he’s married. But more importantly, you don’t know if he has a relationship with Jesus or even if he wants such a relationship. Many people, (even those claiming to be “Christian”), don’t know what a relationship with Jesus means! You’ll take note that I mention Jesus and knowing him often in my conversations with you. This is because Jesus, the Son of God, the 2nd member of the Trinity, is our Creator and in him we move about and have our being. He is intimately involved with who we are and our entire being and our existence. He made us for his purposes and he desires for us to seek him earnestly and to know him and to obey him as our foremost objective. Our relationships with others will always remain subject to that foremost objective Post Reply
JamesEG View Profile History	What should I do in this situation Posted : 23 Jan, 2025 10:34 AM It might not be the best way to handle it, and I'm not a woman. But I think it might be appropriate to just ask him, "If you don't mind my asking, I noticed you recently started wearing a gold band on your left ring finger. Are you married? It's often a U.S. custom for married men and women to wear one." Post Reply
TravisjustTravis View Profile History	What should I do in this situation Posted : 12 Feb, 2025 10:38 PM Look that guy in the eyes and say "Hey are you married!" Post Reply
TravisjustTravis View Profile History	What should I do in this situation Posted : 13 Feb, 2025 12:39 PM I try to be one of thoes guys that is able to learn from anything and as I was thinking about what was being asked, as I understand it, the question is being asked because you are not sure what behavior the guy thinks is normal. You do not want to misunderstand what the guy is trying to say by wearing a wedding band, but at the same time you do not want to flirt with a married man. I am glad to hear that their are people in the world that are kind enough to not want to be a "home wrecker". (So my advice was to just ask the guy and collect a bit more information.) I think that the lesson that everybody can learn from what you are going through is that there are a lot of different people in this world. Typical the more advanced in years that a person becomes then the more 'unique' the individual is. Its not actually an age thing, it actually more about 'choices'. Which leads me to a great piece of advice that I have received. 'The next time that you do not know what to do just ask yourself about who you want to become' Say that I am at a convenient store and the cashier says that the total amount that I owe is $5.00 but I have estimated that the amount should be about $12.00. The advice is only do things that will lead to you becoming who you want to be. I would like to become a man that is full of integrity so, in the convenient store example, I should check the receipt and then go back and tell the cashier 'you forgot to scan my soda and I would like to rectify the situation'. The thing that I learned while thinking about the question that you asked is just like I have tried to give allowance to people because some things that they do is weird...I am sure that other people have tried to give allowance to me because they think that I am weird. So the weirdness thing is a two way street...how about that? Post Reply
rbj66 View Profile History	What should I do in this situation Posted : 20 May, 2025 06:58 AM What happened with this? Where are you at now? I would have told you to put a ring on your finger too and see if he questions you Post Reply