I am curious to know where men stand on the issue of gender roles.
We're living in a society where it is completly normal for a woman to be the bread winner in a marriage. Is this attracive to the single Christian men out there? Would you be in a realtionship where you take the role as the stay at home father while your wife works in coporate America to provide for your family? Like I said I am just curious and would love some feedback.
I am going to answer that as a woman who has been there done that to add to the discussion if that is okay.
I saw myself as a modern woman who could handle that role. IN a very strong marriage where everyone is communicating about how they feel it can probably work. It definitely contributed to problems in my marriage. It is difficult to say whether the role reversal caused the problems or whether his irresponsibility created the role reversal.
My GFs and I have decided that one of the downsides of the ERA is that it did not allow for issues regarding working mothers and set up a situation where women are now the breadwinners and still have the domestic responsibility while it has allowed SOME men to be lazy.
Also, it has allowed some women to shirk their motherly responsibilities because it is acceptable to pursue a career.
There are no easy answers. Every situation, especially in this economy, dictates a different solution. I do believe that in a marriage where mutual needs are considered, a man is cherishing his wife making sure she has what she needs, and she is communicating to make sure his needs are being met then it should not be a problem.
So no matter now men feel about it in theory, I am here to tell you in practice it is not as easy or acceptable as it sounds. My husband ended up having an affair with a SAHM (stay at home mom) because he felt lonely and emasculated.
We tried for 11 years to recover. But he never did get a job and I became resentful for carrying the full load of responsibility which kept me from getting past the affair.
dear folks, im a biblical roles ,old fashioned kinda guy.. but that dont mean that the wife cant work outside of the home as i believe the proverbs 31 woman did as well ..
In regards to Tabitha, I'm so sorry for your strife. :prayingm:
I, personally, agree with Cattle. When I read the book "Wild at Heart", it seemed to explain well why we, as a society, have strayed from the Biblical examples set for us. Men have been emasculated for many years and are now (just generally speaking, not all men are like this!) intimidated by women not "needing" them to be the bread winner, therefore the head of the house. God did not design us for that role, although many of us (myself included) have had to adapt to survive.
I fully believe with all of my heart that God called me to be a paramedic and I make a living doing just that. However, when God blesses me with a husband and then a child, I will want to spend more time at home. I'm not saying that I will be a SAHM because I think that would go against God's will for me, but maybe I could work part-time or volunteer. I will do whatever God wants me to do.
This is a great post and I hope you don't mind my post, as I'm not a guy.
I appreciate your insight and I am happy to hear that other women feel the way I do.
I believe that the man should be at the head of a household and breadwinner; unfortuanately some men my age feel as if it is okay for the woman to work and the man to stay at home.
One guy's argument was that I have no reason to go to school if I plan to be a SAHM... I don't plan on being a SAHM I just want the option and it seems to be an unreasonable request when discussed with other people...
I need more feedback men... Is this attractive to you? Do you want to instill roles in your relationships?
Maybe I am being chauvinistic, but I think there is a reason that God made men and women differently -- with different capabilities (in general). Men are larger and stronger, why? I feel it is to protect and defend. I believe God mandates that the male be the head of the household. That does not mean the Dictator or King. Being the head means being more of a servent than a lord.
If the head of the house is always facing towards God and the rest of the house is also...then Love should reign Supreme and conflict will always be settled with Love.
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
I feel a woman should be able to do what ever she wants, though I am not keen on women competing with men, as men.
On the other hand I still feel very strongly that a woman was created to be the heart of the house hold, the nurturer, the wound mender, the teacher of patience, compassion, and women (God knows these are not always my strong points), therefore I feel a woman should put being a mother before all else, and if she is not a mother, then she should put her husband and her family life first, then career and all that business.
I've been in a relationship with a girl who was more concerned about work than actually spending any time with me. I think work would have her 90% of the time, then I got what was left, and by that point she was generally too tired to stay awake for anything.
Needless to say I felt traded in.
On another note, another thing we need to remember is that when the communist party began way back in the day, one of the pieces of propaganda they spread around was women's equal rights. Again I feel a woman should be able to do what ever she wants, granted I would prefer they remain modest, mature, not flaunt their sexuality, and most of all cease from competing with males as men, it's too Ellen Degenerate really....
...anyhow, the thing is though that they began to spread this gospel, and dissent began to grow between the women and the men. Women then went into the work place to compete with man and show him they could do more than cook and clean too, but alas, the children were then left alone to be raised by the nursery schools and other state programs which filled their child's head up with all sorts of state propaganda, part of which included atheism and an allegence to the state before family, etc.
Thus breaking up the family unit.
Needless to say, if you know anything about psychology, sociology, communist history and methodology, you'll kow that those days are back upon us. And while we may not have communists in our nursery schools per say, we still have a web of strange Godless ideaologies consuming our nation, our children, our wives, our husdbands, our families. :/
Obviously each situation is different but in general I think it should be the responsibility of the man to go out and work and provide for his family. I think the woman is maybe betted suited to bringing up the children. But that should not always stop her from working as sometimes finances may be tight
Although men and women are equal in God's sight I believe they have different roles. In any team you can't have everyone doing the same role.
before you have children, save money while both work.Then after kids the lady can take some time off. Then after the kids get older the lady if she wants to can go back to work. Nothing wrong with having a full time job.In todays world both parents need a job with health insurance. Yes, you need a plan that both agree with.If the man loses his job the lady becomes the provider even if it is for a short time.Unemployment should be only until you get a new job. So, alot of women right now are providing
because they have no choice.
If a guy loses his job he gets to spend time with the kids for a short time.This can be good.No babysitter.A father in between jobs has a chance to get closer to his kids.They will remember that.In todays world we have to make adjustments.
