How can you be humble and self-sacrificing, but also maintain your self esteem/respect? How do you gain self esteem/respect without sacrificing humility?
Interested to see what others have to say on the subject. :goofball:
dear sily, wow , i think you have to always be confident in yourself and confident in GOD ... the hard part is doin so and keepin it to yourself hehe.. ive heard it said that when GODS grace is sufficient ,humility is the result..
I am narcassistic, arrogant, egotistical, over confident, full of myself, and concieted, and very proud.
Been my struggle since day one. And oddly enough, I know we are not supposed to let others think more highly of then they ought. There are times when the lord badgers me enough to where I disolve into some semblence of false modesty, but it always rises up its ugly head again.
Now notice, here, I'm at least honest. I know myself quite well, been alive a long time, and been a christian for 20 something years. HOWEVER. I know how to love. And I am known as a person who is self sacraficing and who will do anything for someone when they need it. I do not put my own needs before others.
See, I am a huge dichotomy. I am as hard as nails, but as soft as a fluffy bunny. I am sarcastic but have an incredible ability to show empathy, grace, and be very gentle. I am wild and free, but very respondant to peoples needs.
I struggled with this for years and years and years. I am just kinda.. who I feel I need to be at any given time, for the best effect. very odd to be me.
Here is what I finally came up with. There is a difference between personality, and character. My character, as a christian, is right on. I have all the do's and dont's down to a T. But my personality makes me just flat out off the hook. And you can change your character, but you are born, created, and raised with your personaility.
When I read the bible, the apostle paul says ALOT of things that come of like he just had the biggest superiority complex ever. He didn't, he was just sure of who God made him, and God's purpose for his life. He even said *follow me, and in following me, follow christ.* whew. I would not dare.
So my deal is this, It's not about me. It's about Jesus. My life verse is John 3:30 - He must increase, I must decrease.
I don't want to leave an impression on people about how cool *alex* is, I want people who interact with me to say, wow that guy is off the hook, but he sure loves jesus, and he loves me too.
I'm complicated. Such is life.
Just beware false humility, or modesty. Alot of believers were those like a disquise. I don't I am just flat out me. I've no need. I know what I am here to do, and I do it. I love those around me. despite my rediculous personality.
Excellent question - and Alex threw some good info in here. I actually asked about this many moons ago - "What on earth is humility?" (I was working at a major christian ministry at the time)
The survey showed the majority agreeing it was the opposite of pride - but what was pride?
In the end, it was a friend of mine who, like Alex, had a problem with thinking too much of himself - the majority of people do not think highly enough of himself.
Basically, it's an issue of honesty: There's nothing wrong with saying you are good at playing piano, if you're good at playing piano. That's not pride - that's honesty.
In fact, if you're good at playing piano, and you tell people you don't play very well, this is called PRIDE. It's the opposite of humility.
i.e. - look at the glowing things the Bible says about you - you are fearfully and wonderfully made! The only son of God thought you worth while to die for.
Humility is honesty - think of it as "How does God see me?"
I was one of the majority who thought less of himself than God saw, and had to learn to see myself the way God saw me.
See that's just off the hook bro, Exactly kinda what I meant.
I have self assurance, watch me play guitar, or sing, I know I am great at it, always have been, so I have no need for praise or false modesty. And I know my talents, I can teach, preach, witness, all that, and It's all God given, and I take pride in it (pride meaning recognizing the inherent value in the gifts) None of it originates from me, It's all who God has made me. I finally got over that hump of acting like I was all like barney fife or something and just realized, hey, I am good at what I do, praise God.
So I walk with my head high, and I get down on my knees and thank God that I can do so.
When your eyes are on God, you basically rejoice in what he is doing in your life and you will be most happy when you live according to his will. ie, when your will is fulfilled in your life. So as Spurgeon said
"Do you not know that there is such a thing as glorifying God by sweeping the street crossing? If two angels were sent down to earth, one to rule an empire, and the other to sweep a street, they would have no choice in the matter, so long as God ordered them. So God, in his providence, has called you to work hard for your daily bread; do it to his glory. "Whatsoever ye do, whether ye eat or drink, do all to his honor." " (from his sermon Sweet comfort for feeble saints")
So there might be many a person who might not have any talent/ anything which the world might respect but that person will be doing what God has sent him/her for. Another person might have talents, but if those talents are not used for what glorifying God and fulfilling his will, then its an utter waste. So if we take pride in our talents, it is not right because whatever we have is because God has given it to us and if someone does not have a talent, it is because God's purpose for that person was different.
So as far as I can see there is no such thing as self respect/ self esteem for a Christian. Its all about humility. People with self esteem or self respect won't be washing their servants feet like Jesus did. If God was more concerned about his esteem and self respect he would not have left heaven to come and rescue puny man and die for him. He left heaven and all his glory and power, and lived as one of the poorest men, as a man whom none of us would like to live as. He was called the friend of sinners and publicans, a title even we are ashamed to take now. If he was concerned about self respect he would have come at least as a king, but instead he came for the worst of sinners. And not even one of us is better than another. So when we speak of esteem its basically saying to others that I'm good and to be valued, there's something good in me. Which I don't think is what the Bible says. A christian can be treated with contempt for his beliefs, he can be killed tortured and be treated like an animal, if he cared about his own self esteem how can be rejoice like Paul that he is doing God's will by suffering for him. In 1 corinthians 4 : Paul writes
"For I think that God has exhibited us apostles as last of all, like men sentenced to death, because we have become a spectacle to the world, to angels, and to men. We are fools for Christ's sake, but you are wise in Christ. We are weak, but you are strong. You are held in honor, but we in disrepute. To the present hour we hunger and thirst, we are poorly dressed and buffeted and homeless, and we labor, working with our own hands. When reviled, we bless; when persecuted, we endure; when slandered, we entreat. We have become, and are still, like the scum of the world, the refuse of all things"
All i can say is that if we wish to be at least something of what Paul has mentioned in the above passage we must set apart our self esteem and self respect, because in order to be a true reflection of God's character we have to be selfless and consider others more than ourselves. And if we are truly selfless I don't think we could really care much about ourselves, it would be all about God and his will and how we can bless others and all.
