Author	Thread: Getting "stood up"
Admin	Getting "stood up" Posted : 12 Aug, 2009 05:15 PM Alright, it is more than a little embarrassing to come forward with this, but I would really like some responses. In the past I have only asked my mom and friends (that are also moms) about this, so I would like an answer from a nonmom; even better if it could be a guy. I get stood up a LOT. I�ll have a date and time arranged to go out with somebody, and it seems almost half of the time... he never shows up. This has happened on first dates (naturally, I didn�t give those guys an opportunity for a second chance to stand me up). So, what�s up with that? (Tell me what you think, I can handle it.) Post Reply
View Profile History	Getting "stood up" Posted : 12 Aug, 2009 05:37 PM dear sily, i only know i wouldnt do ya that way... you deserve to be treated better than that.. youre a pretty young lady and very mature and wise for your years. so i just just dont get it either.. ole cattle Post Reply
tristan07 View Profile History	Getting "stood up" Posted : 12 Aug, 2009 06:14 PM Pick the right guys. period. read between the lines. use your spider sense lol seriously, life just is what it is, people let us down alot. Look up, not around, and you will find the satisfaction your soul craves. You're young, you have time, learn to smell out a rat, while you have time to learn to do so. We aren't all like that, but guys will be guys. Good luck and God's blessings to you. really. Alex Post Reply
View Profile History	Getting "stood up" Posted : 12 Aug, 2009 06:51 PM When you get stood up, who initiates the contact and requests the date? Many guys will say things in the spare of the moment or while face to face that they do not sincerely mean. It is an easy way out for them if they have not learned to set appropriate boundaries for themselves in a thoughtful way. Once they begin to handle situations in this way, it quickly becomes a habit and they end up creating more and more situations that they have to try to avoid. The end result is men who struggle with commitment. Post Reply
DontHitThatMark View Profile History	Getting "stood up" Posted : 12 Aug, 2009 07:32 PM I'd say it has to be something wrong with the guy. He likes you enough to ask you out, but then doesn't show up? Doesn't make sense. Maybe God is sending some circumstances to the dude that makes him not able to come. Maybe God knows the guy will just end up hurting you. Who knows. :peace::peace: Post Reply
View Profile History	Getting "stood up" Posted : 12 Aug, 2009 08:22 PM Wow...mydreamtime33...Thank you...no really...thank you for nailing in down so precisely not to mention eloquently....you hit the nail right on the head with that explanation. Men that are not ready for commitment tend to say things in the spur of the moment and never really were sincere. I know women prolly' do that as well. But I know I need to be waaaay more discerning...and not allow myself to get attached until I get the green light directly from the Lord, Himself. Now to be that diligent...that�s another thread...lol. Thank you again for saying what I have been thinking about but have had a heck of a time getting a man to open up about or be really honest about. You rock! :) God bless you. Sincerely, (no pun intended), lol ~ Kels Post Reply
View Profile History	Getting "stood up" Posted : 12 Aug, 2009 09:51 PM Hey dreamtime, you hit the nail on the head my brother, that guy was me before I met the Lord!!!!:yay: Post Reply
View Profile History	Getting "stood up" Posted : 12 Aug, 2009 11:08 PM Hi Just another thought. You are naturally pretty (no make-up required) and you have unique (red) hair. Some guys get cold feet because they feel inadequate, like you are really out of their league- when it actually comes time to roll. I would pray for a more confident, out-going type who feels he deserves someone as nice as you. PS I think you are a little young to sweat it now. People act foolish without even meaning it sometimes. Worry more about dating when you begin thinking about finding a mate. Going out with a group of mixed sex friends for bowling or the beach would probably be a lot more fun for a 20 year old than a date anyway. Live, live, live and enjoy it all--- that is what we would all do if we were 20 again! Post Reply
View Profile History	Getting "stood up" Posted : 13 Aug, 2009 01:23 AM HI SIYLII I AGREE WITH WHAT WAS SAID IN MOST OF THE COMMENTS BEFORE ME, HOWEVER, DESPITE BEING STOOD UP SO MANY TIMES, PLEASE DONT THINK THAT THE NEXT GUY WHO COMES ALONG IS GOING TO BE THE SAME AS THE LAST. ITS UNFORTUNATE THAT ALOT OF GUYS POSSESS THE ATTITUDE THAT YOU DESCRIBED, TRYING TO FIND THE ONE THAT DOES NOT POSSESS THIS ATTITUDE, IS THE HARD PART, WHICH IS WHY I WOULD NOT RECOMMEND GETING STOOD UP ALL THE TIME, BUT MY MAIN POINT IS THIS, EVERY NEW MAN THAT INTERESTS YOU, SHOULD BE GIVEN THEIR SEPEARTE CHANCE, AS DIFFICULT AS IT MAY BE, PLEASE DONT LOOK AT A NEW MAN THAT COMES ALONG AND SAY SOMETHING LIKE, HE IS ONLY GOING TO DO WHAT THE LAST MAN DID. I AM NOT SAYING THAT YOU DO THIS BUT I AM JUST CITING AN EXAMPLE. I DONT KNOW IF YOU UNDERSTAND ME, BUT I AM TRYING TO DISARM THIS MENTALITY OF "ALL MEN ARE THE SAME". I AM NOT SAYING THAT YOU FEEL THAT ALL MEN ARE THE SAME BUT SUCH SITUATIONS LIKE THE ONE YOU DESCRIBED, IN SOME CASES, LEAD TO THAT SOUGHT OF MENTALITY. SOMETHING TO PONDER. Post Reply
View Profile History	Getting "stood up" Posted : 13 Aug, 2009 10:45 AM Thank you so much for your responses! I don't usually take getting stood up personally, and I'm definitely in no huge hurry to bag somebody, but I was wondering what rationale you guys think there might be behind that behavior (if any, haha). In the past I have only ever asked female friends about it, with the response that "men are just intimidated". Maybe a valid response, but also a very gentle, from-a-friend response that I have a hard time buying. :goofball: Post Reply
kdhny11 View Profile History	Getting "stood up" Posted : 13 Aug, 2009 05:21 PM I don't think it is intimidation since you wouldn't have an arranged date to begin with unless the guy approached you already. I assume that the guy is doing the asking. If you are doing the asking then maybe it is. Otherwise, I would eliminate that as the reason. I must say I am surprised. You are obviously an attractive woman and any guy should know that if he does that then word will quickly spread that he is not to be trusted. I don't know what other reason there can be, short of him being preoccupied at work/school or physically incapacitated - but then he should promptly call you to let you know. I have never done such a thing so I don't have much understanding why a guy would do that but I really don't think it is intimidation as I have said. You don't look or sound intimidating - lol. Strange to me. Post Reply

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