Hey Guys, I was recently talking wth some ome and we clicked spiritually in many ways. We attend the same church, just different states and cities. He asked for a pic and I sent several. I was honest from the beginning that I was noit skinny, but average .. and could use a lil weight...
Sinc seeing the pictures, he avised me that he will call me, that we need to slow down and we havent spoken. I asked him if the pics were this reason, and he told me no. But I am thinking he just told me this not to hurt me even more than he already did.. What are you thoughts?:angel
dear spoken, welcome to the forums.. see now here is where i believe its best to have your pic on your profile.. then when someone writes you, you know theyre really interisted in you as you have put yourself out there as yourself.. i mean anyone can like someones personality or spiritualness with a blank photo space.. but thats not the way the datin thing works.. ya know not everyones likes are the same.. or are attracted to the same women.. so love who you are and put the real you out there.. as im sure you are a pretty lady.. in real life dont folks see who theyre gonna talk to first? im a man that doesnt have a certain size woman that i may find attractive... i just know when i see em if i do or not.. with that said one man may like summin different than another.. so why not just put yourself out there.. and me personally wouldnt write to a blank pic spot as i wanna see who im talkin with.. thats just me.. so if youre more comfortable without one then thats cool as its your preference and your right.. but do expect things like this to happen.. and hey it happens even when ya got a pic up they just stop writin sometimes..
I have to agree with ole cattle - although I don't even READ profiles without a picture. But there is some ladies that I did get turned off by their looks - I can't put my finger on it; and no, it's not that I didn't think they were pretty enough, there was something about their appearance that came across as a red flag. (Just trying to be brutally honest here with myself and everyone else) That also included a PILE of skinny, drop-dead gorgeous ladies whose profiles I looked at. Their looks set off alarm bells, and some of the time, I couldn't even tell you what it was that bothered me.
This guy also may have been sincere in what he said about just slowing down though. And - this is the down side to the online matchmaking thing - you have NO idea what on earth is going on on their end. While there's a lot of things I really, really like about the online dating scene, this is the biggest thing that gets me down. You just don't know what's going on on the other end. It may have nothing to do with your pictures, but something else coincidentally came up at the same time - i.e., he met someone else.
Did you meet this guy on a christian dating site?
Try to keep your chin up, don't get too discouraged (we're all here for you - keep posting to the forums!) and I agree with Cattle - put yourself out there all the more. Here's the other thing - I went and looked at your profile - you literally have nuthin' on there! You gotta give the guys a reason to contact you, give them something to get the conversation started, give them something to go on. Be bold - post away, then let us no here so we can take a look and make suggestions. Find a nice shot of yourself in the brightest dress you got, post it as a profile picture, and don't let your size and looks think it's going to slow you down - be confident. That'll get attention.
Girl, he's just putting a good face on it. I had a gal messaging me like crazy on here who had no photos up, and I told her point blank, show me some photos. and she did, and she wasnt attractive to me, and I told her, but we still talk on occasion as friends.
Being honest and real is the most important thing in all of this. If I'm not attracted to you, it's not going to go anywhere, period, and vice versa. I've had it happen myself. No one and I mean NO ONE is universally attractive to everyone. I am a fairly decent looking guy, but I do NOT assume all gals are attracted to me. everyone has thier own tastes.
dont worry, life has a way of workin out. you'll find your man.
hi my dear sometime we also need to believe and have faith on ours look is given by god.God make any girl is beautiful here,is the men really look on your outward or weight and to decided to have a relationship with you, i think you better let it go,because you need to understand the outward will gone on one day ,what is the exist for future relationship?
I agree that men is a "visual" on this world.The first appreance will make them to take a move and close you.But i believe when guy is know you well,the also will aware your inner beauty from your heart and love you with the true heart.Inner beauty also will attractive men come to you....sometime women also need to have faith on herself and don't so hire from ourself cause by ours weakness here...we are not a perfect person,but we still can live our life with happiness because we have faith on god inside us.
Men always need a lovely,caring,understanding,loyal women to help them up to build up their dream,take care of family and him,given support when they are down and facing whatever problem together...sometime women also need to learn how to play kite...sometime want to be straight on men and sometime need to give some space or freedom for them to rest and be understand or caring to them
My dear don't be so sad there...i believe you also very beauty in your inner heart, just show it to guy how good you are...
All I can say is ... don't beat yourself down for that... if this guy doesn't talk to you anymore... it's okay...it's not the end of the world.
Honestly! you can fix the problem. If you are feeling with low self esteem you have to learn to love yourself for who you are and someone WILL look at your inner qualities. But, if you want to feel better about yourself; loose weight. Ask God to help you... afterall, our bodies are the temple of God. We need to take care of it.
I gained some weight during my last year in college. I was stressed and had no time to workout or even eat right. I was determined to love myself the way I was and I actually told myself I wanted to be looked at my inside and not my outside appearance. BUT... I started feeling tired most of the time and lacked energy for almost anything. I asked God to help me and I determined myself to loose weight. I have lost 25 lbs until now and I feel great! I've actually been told now that I am obessesed with calories and so forth, but it's not that. I now have energy that I even went snowboarding this July. It was great excerside! I loved it and I want to do it again.
I noticed the difference on how guys looked at me then and how they look at me now. It's sad, but true.
If you want I can tell you how I lost the weight. Send me a message and I can give you some tips. :-) I'm not an expert, but I can guide you on the basics. I'm working on loosing another 20 lbs. or maybe 10... I don't want to be skinny, just fit. :-)
Its not fair to the guy to try and have a relationship with someone he doesn't find physically attractive.
And that sword cuts both ways. If a girl doesn't have any physical attraction for a guy that's interested in her. Then its not gonna be fair to her.
Obviously, there's a nice way of saying it but i think people should be more blunt about it and be able to say "im not attracted to you physically"
Cuz we all got different preferences and different tastes in what we want and some people are real picky and some people have a little more broad preferences in what they're looking for.
So don't take offense if someone doesn't like you because of your're looks. Just know that different guys are looking for different things but they do need to see what you look like before they decide that.
you need to be attracted physically at first or it won't work-you have to risk putting your pic up and when the right person responds you know he's attracted to you-Bill
Well.............I am a fairly gutsy "GIRL"......so with all due respect I would like to add my opinion and insight.
Okay...looks are important to the ladies too. But past the initial attractions that we are all subject to by nature, there is a multitude of deeper attributes to appreciate and adore in a person.
Having worked in a male dominated industry for many years, I have listened to co-workers and associates voice their opinions and experiences on this subject many times. The ending results of initial weak decisions are likely to result in personal pain that is greater than the initial joy of obtaining the trophy.The ending results of attractions that we decide to pursue are many times very different from the day dreams that we imagine in the beginning of the relationship.
Personally I am a beautiful and loving woman. The depts of my heart, soul, and mind surpass many times over the points of attraction from my physical self. I am a big built persion and not ashamed of one thing that God gave me to work with. Would I like to improve some areas? YES, of course I would. With what I know to be true at this point of my life, I would be wary of any man that would assume saftey and security in a relationship that is initially based on looks alone.
It is my belief that women in general are more willing to look deeper than the surface when checking for "attractions" and "chemistry".
One of my favorite quotes noted below, certainly applies to this subject. don't you owe it to your self to ponder your own personal depths and those of others?
Those who are shallow minded are more than likely weak in spirit and likely to drown in self worth.
I have to side with the men on this one. I believe that a person, male or female, needs to feel a physical attraction for the relationship to even begin. The key is what are you physically attracted to? Some men like certain physical attributes while others find other attributes attractive. I believe that most females are the same. When you find the one that you are physcially attracted to you have a starting point. Thank God he made us all different so we have a chance of finding someone who attracts each of us.
