ok.. since im new here and NOBODY knows me yet I have a question that might sound odd..
How does one go about explaining a childs disabilty to a stranger whom you want to get to know? It is NOT a topic that is just brought up out of the blue.
While I am very open and honest I also know full well men see this as a negative. and yes I know that is not the case but I have met enough men to know they do not want to be involved with someone who is caring for another mans child let alone one who is not in perfect health and will never leave home.
so how do I bring this up without frightening anyone. its not something I have mastered by any means..
Hi Shy. i know the question is meant for the guys, but i felt an urge to respond. please do not get offended for it is not my intention. first off, please don't be so negative on yourself "NOBODY KNOWS ME." I'm pretty sure i'm not the only one here that can say that you are family here. everyone is. this isn't a popularity contest. i know you my sister and many others as well. just keep on corresponding with us all. feel free to email me anytime you want to chat privately about anything. okay?
now, my advice to you regarding kid question:
at the very beginning (first date) of the friendship i would tell him about myself and my kid(s) and their disability. why beat around the bush? be honest from the very beginning. it isn't fair on you, him or your kid(s). if once you tell him he tells you that he can't handle that, be grateful that you know this now and not later. he goes his way, you go your way. i know it's gonna hurt you at the beginning, but then you realize he wasn't the one for you. the one that is meant for you, is going to love you and your kid(s) unconditionally. now, isn't that worth waiting for?
be honest ALWAYS from the very beginning. it will save you lots of heartaches later.
IN ADDITION, WE ARE ALL ONE BODY IN CHRIST, SO YOUR MOST DEFINATELY FAMILY.
PERSONALLY, IF I WERE U, I WOULD EXPLAIN TO ANY POTENTIAL PARTNER, THE WHOLE TRUTH AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH ABOUT MYSELF. IF THE POTENTIAL PARTNER, REALLY WANTS TO GO SOMEWHERE WITH YOU, THEN HE WILL BE MOST LIKELY TO DEMONSTRATE HIS ACCEPTANCE OF ANY CONDITION ATTACHED TO YOUR LIFE.
dear shy, i would think when he asked you about your children would be a good time to tell him. since you are lookin for a relationship i think you should tell em right away.
then you can relax and just be yourself. if he sticks ,great.. if he bolts on ya then he wasnt a potential mate for you.. itll take a special man for sure. but im sure theyre out there.. my opinion is if you wait to tell him then he will feel you were hidin it from him and that in itself may make him bolt.. and it might not even be the fact that made him bolt ya know..
No I know i cant wait nor would I want to.. its more a matter of how to explain it.. sigh.. im so not good with such things.. I guy im just shy and out of practice..LOL
I wil keep praying on it and hope God will put the right words in my mind..
This is a great question that does not sound odd at all. And I want you to know that I just read your profile and I did not stop at the top. :winksmile: I read the whole thing.
Shy,
Caring for a child (or children) with a disability is not an easy task. If you have a child with a disability, and care deeply for that child, that is one of the most beautiful and attractive qualities about yourself that you could possibly explain to anyone. It is literally Christ in you.
Most men are walking around today with unseen �disabilities� in their own hearts from having been hurt by this world (I am one of them). Most men will never be loved with the type of genuine love that you have to offer. The way that you love and care for your children is the same way that you�ll love and care for that special guy that the LORD Is Able To Provide! Let CHRIST who is CLEARLY in you, shine through, and try not to be afraid.
dear folks, dream, awesome post.. and shy i understand , me i always wanted to grab the bull by the horns so i really cant tell you how you feel hehe.. but i do understand bout bein shy as i was shy once long long ago hehe.. ole cattle
thanks for the post everyone.. I still need to figure out the words but they will come to me...I love both of my children and they are a part of my life forever> I do know that any man wo loves me will love them as well or I could never be with him.
im hungry guess I am off cook dinner for the teenlet and cuz..
