Author	Thread: Kids?
Admin	Kids? Posted : 14 Jul, 2009 01:20 PM ok men here is a question for you. Do you not look twice at women with kids from a prior marriage? or is that not a factor in your search? why or why not? GBU Bethany Post Reply
View Profile History	Kids? Posted : 14 Jul, 2009 01:31 PM dear shy, nopr dont bother me none as i like havin a family. ole cattle Post Reply
View Profile History	Kids? Posted : 14 Jul, 2009 02:50 PM It all depends. As a younger man, the scenario that occassionally crops up is that women acted with deliberately poor choices and now has one or more children. (For this, I'm considering non-widows within an age range that I would consider personally dateable.) Where do go from that? Does one bad choice or set of bad choices make you eternally a pariah? Here might be the choice time to point out that while I am a saint in Christ Jesus, I am not a saint by the world's definition. For example, one girl I dated very nearly broke up with me when she found that I used to drink in college. (I've never been a partier, but I was willing to see if I enjoyed the experience. The answer repeatedly came back "no" and now I rarely have even a singe beer but am not anti-drinking.) The one choice she found in bad taste was almost enough for her to call it quits. If she had gone through and ended the relationship, I would have been sad; but I would have admired her for standing by her conviction as long as she didn't allow it be an opportunity for Satan to remove her love for me in Christ. Now, let's play with my story. Let's assume I was a wilder partier and did other things that would mar my witness while drinking when I was in college. Would that be sufficient grounds for most of us to break up with someone else? What line do I need to cross before my past sin becomes an affront to your good senses? Whatever it is, let's assume I broke that one too. Great, now we're working with someone that you're not eager to accept as a mate ;-) Do these same actions immediately disqualify me from sharing in fellowship with you as a brother? Any answer but "maybe" will be highly suspicious and counted as a sin =P (I'm half joking) The reason for this is that if an alleged Christian is unrepentant of his past, whether or not he continues in the sin, is under the burden of his guilt and is cursed. If this same Christian is repenting of his sin, then our obligation is to love him as Christ loves him. In the same way, I would say that for a woman who has children (the visible mark of her indiscretion, excluding the widowed) if it's not evident that she is repenting of the sin, then she is absolutely undateable. However, if she can honestly say that she loves her children, wouldn't trade them even for a perfect man, and does repent of her wickedness is a woman I'd love to date. The heart of a Christian is not defeated by past sin but daily takes up his cross to follow his Savior. I can tell you that I've sent private messages to a few girls on this site who either have children or were recently knocked up. In one case to send a girl encouragement, and in others to let them know I was interested. Although the messages were read, I think the shear distance made it difficult for them to make the time to respond. Anyway, hope that helps ;-) If not, I'll try to check back on this thread. Post Reply
View Profile History	Kids? Posted : 14 Jul, 2009 02:52 PM thanks for the imput.. in my case my daughter wont be leaving home. that is a special situation but I know many women that say men are put off by children. since I made a choice not to date until my kids were grown I guess i never gave it a lot of thought Post Reply
View Profile History	Kids? Posted : 14 Jul, 2009 03:51 PM In all of my selfishness, I could have posted about my own mother. She met and dated several men from a website a few years after my dad died. To be sure, some of the men where hoping to ignore her children. My mother is sweet, but I've never considered her eye candy. Having children, who at the time, aged 12, 15 and 18 would have seemed to me a big obstacle. Though, she did go out on many dates. Some were desperate losers and some were very respectable men. She's now remarried, and while I'm not close to her husband, I can say that I'm proud of them both and love them both dearly. Now, if only I could figure out how my mother was so engaging online ;-) and borrow some of that... Post Reply
View Profile History	Kids? Posted : 14 Jul, 2009 04:59 PM hmm I had not thought of it in bthe light you pointed out. Thank you Post Reply
View Profile History	Kids? Posted : 14 Jul, 2009 05:02 PM when you figure it out let me know ..LOL.. I am horrid at small talk or talking about myself Post Reply