Author	Thread: Deal breaker
Nobodyknows View Profile History	Deal breaker Posted : 23 Apr, 2018 02:12 PM What is deal breaker for you? Post Reply
View Profile History	Deal breaker Posted : 23 Apr, 2018 03:02 PM If we have completely different life goals, different core values and beliefs. For example, I believe in the Trinity, and some Christians do not. I believe that we may lose our salvation if we are not careful. Some Christians believe that Salvation is secure. You can't lose it once you get saved. I believe that there will be a rapture before the Great Tribulation, but many Christians do not believe in a rapture. I like President Trump. If you hate him, then that's obviously a dealbreaker, because I would like a family in which there is some level of harmony and agreement. I would like someone who is not in deep deep debt. If you have like 50,000 dollars of debt, then that is a dealbreaker for me, because I imagine that we'll never be able to pay that thing off. If you have a mental illness or disability, then that is a dealbreaker. If you have diabetes or heart disease or some fatal illness, then that is a dealbreaker. I do not want to marry someone knowing that I am going to lose that person in 6 months or so. I think, what's most important in a person is kindness. If you are not kind or polite, then you can have the best beliefs and be as healthy as you can be, but it's the biggest dealbreaker. Most people I have met are very kind. So, that's usually not a problem. Post Reply
View Profile History	Deal breaker Posted : 23 Apr, 2018 03:19 PM Non-negotiables... * Not Christian * Not single/widowed or Biblically divorced * No mutual attraction * Being covered in psychological land mines, a.k.a. "baggage" Then there's... * The more tattoos you have, the more turned off I am * Deception - using a 15-year-old photo - listing your city as one outside the US, but then putting "California" as your state (Gen. Santos City, California, e.g.) * Those STUPID filters women of all ages childishly use in their photos, placing flowers over their faces or distorting their facial proportions (because every man wants to date a woman with bug eyes) * Sorry ladies, but if you're overweight and have short hair to boot, that is a HUGE turn-off; you've defeminized yourself on two levels -- for my taste, anyway * Poorly-written profiles - run-on sentences - poor grammar/spelling - ones that say "Ask..." instead of showing a willingness to think and make an effort to introduce yourself to the men out there These things turn me off a lot, but the second list I would be willing to make exceptions on IF other, favorable factors existed to override them. Post Reply
View Profile History	Deal breaker Posted : 23 Apr, 2018 03:27 PM Hey zsoltx, Good list. I disagree about the rapture (I'm currently post-Trib), and (more or less) agree with the notion that once saved always saved, but I generally like your list and should have included some of that stuff. Political like-mindedness? I think this can come under the heading of "equally yoked". Life-shortening illness? Yes, I feel badly for you, but I lost my wife to unchecked diabetes. I prefer to avoid a second run with something like that if possible. This site at this point is a toy for me, not a place I'm taking too seriously. Posting in forums like this is part of the playing for me, and I thought the original poster's query was a good one. I hope the list helped. Post Reply
View Profile History	Deal breaker Posted : 23 Apr, 2018 03:41 PM Interesting Thanks for sharing it helps as a reminder. Sometimes we need to re-evaluate ourselves. Post Reply
View Profile History	Deal breaker Posted : 23 Apr, 2018 06:16 PM You are married. (Yes, separated counts as married) You are not a true Christian (this takes time to discern) You lie about how many times you have been married You are heavily in debt For me, if you are outside the State of CA Other than that, just in general: profiles with too little text. Profiles with only one photo. Profiles that are badly written - i.e. grammatical errors. Post Reply
Obediencetotheword View Profile History	Deal breaker Posted : 24 Apr, 2018 02:20 AM Two mentioned about being heavily in debt as a deal breaker. May I know how you bring up this topic? It is not one I would know how to ask and I would really appreciate your input. Thanks! Post Reply
View Profile History	Deal breaker Posted : 24 Apr, 2018 06:16 PM Obedience it is something that reveals itself in time. When you have known someone well enough you can talk about finances, expenses, and budgets in general. You can get ideas if they get a new car every two years, and have expensive toys (i.e. a boat) and/or expensive hobbies. All of these can be indicators, but you really have to know someone to know if they are heavily in debt. If you reach that point where you are both seriously considering marriage, then you need to ask about debt. And share yours. Post Reply
Jayzeee View Profile History	Deal breaker Posted : 28 Apr, 2018 02:31 AM A deal breaker for me would be unemployment, living with friends or family, having no relationship experience, mental health issues and heavy drinking. Post Reply
Jayzeee View Profile History	Deal breaker Posted : 28 Apr, 2018 02:39 AM Being separated is definitely a deal breaker having dated someone in this situation who tried to keep a foot in both camps. Post Reply
Peanutbutterpie View Profile History	Deal breaker Posted : 28 Apr, 2018 11:06 PM BEING SEPARATED yet still married and even living with a partner! It's one thing you are strictly looking for friends/chat relations, but I've come across individuals on here who are actively looking for new romantic relationships that are still married or even in the processes of divorcing their wives. Honestly, I don't think that's fair or being honest whatsoever. Another thing is someone that is heavily caught up in their past relationships or talking about their exes constantly, nothing could be a bigger turn-off. Just a few, but seems like very common ones I've run into. Post Reply

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