Author Thread: Courting
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Courting
Posted : 21 Dec, 2017 06:49 PM

I court. I don't date. When I tell a man this why do they stare at me like i have lost it. I want to have that convent with a God fearing man. I want to do this the way God wants us to. I don't need someone to spend 3 yrs being my bf. I also dont think want to get married tomorrow either. Maybe know understanda exactly what courting is or maybe i am alone on this. Why do men find court appalling?

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Courting
Posted : 22 Dec, 2017 11:18 PM

Men are increasingly terrified of marriage. All they see is a ball and chain with barbs. They see frivolous divorces and the woman getting the house and children along with half of the rest including alimony simply because they are woman..... the risks have simply started to outweigh the rewards.



On the other hand some men simply want a "good time" with no strings but are too smart to openly state it.

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Courting
Posted : 24 Dec, 2017 04:43 PM

you are not alone lovelyleigh



there are many good single men who prefer courting

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aceetsx8

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Courting
Posted : 27 Dec, 2017 03:29 PM

lovelyleigh,



Many guys nowadays simply do not know what courtship is.



Do you have a clear and concise answer to the question: "What is courtship?" Having one would help the folk you are talking to.

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Courting
Posted : 28 Dec, 2017 09:39 PM

The courting/courtship that gets touted by today's home-school groups and other christian groups is not the same as it was for our parents and their parents growing up. Today's courtship is all about control.



When this new version came about 20 years ago, due to the book "i kissed dating goodbye", parents followed the manual as if it was a new addition to the Holy Bible. The problem is courtship is not the beginning of a relationship; it is the culmination of time spent together. In essence, courtship begins when a engagement begins.



While some men and women are on here for causality, you run a big risk of scaring off male suitors by saying you only do courtship. First, you are telling/informing any suitors that you are taking charge of the situation and will dictate how it proceeds. Secondly, it is not biblical - while there are scriptures are how we are to behave, there is not scriptures that say this is how you are to date; everything is handed-down traditions including asking for the father's permission and the wedding ring.

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1jon310

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Courting
Posted : 29 Dec, 2017 09:33 PM

LL

Personally I have some boundaries that I share with people. I have been told that it is weird to discuss boundaries. Some people try to push them to see if I am sincere and others just leave straight off. The last person told me that they agreed with them all but it still made them uncomfortable.

I approach that conversation as a starting point for a conversation not hard and fast rules.

As it was brought up, your drawing the line may be taking the leadership away from the male. BUT if that is what you want to do to sift through the insincere then do it. If you believe that God will bring the correct person into your life then that person will be agreeable to what you ask and respect you for it.

In my opinion many people cast a really wide net when dating or trying to meet people in order to knowingly or unknowingly increase their own feelings of self worth instead of knowing themselves, being selective and finding "the one."

(By the way I do not like the phrase "the one" but I use it for reference purposes.)

Have fun and Be Blessed

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Jayzeee

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Courting
Posted : 3 Jan, 2018 01:28 AM

Jas4point0 that's exactly what I was thinking, to the op as far as I'm aware your not courting until the MAN asks you to be his girlfriend.

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Posted : 9 Jan, 2018 10:38 AM

Thank you to all that have replied. It does give me more to think about. The bottom line is that people today think dating means it's okay to be intimate before you get married. When I'm talking about courting it's scripture for scripture. I truly want to get to know somebody without any hands on, touching, anything like that. I want to know that this this person is going to be evenly yoked with me. I guess money people don't understand what courting is. The whole dating thing is kind of frustrating because I come across many times were the where the other person, the first time I meet them, doesn't understand why I don't want them to touch me even if it's just simple hand holding. I believe any type of intimacy heading towards that way should only happen between a man and his wife. At sad to say is all you see now is people saying boyfriend and girlfriend for her several years and being intimate and not understanding why nothing works out. If you don't have God and following is way of life nothing good will come out of it.

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bushfire^

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Courting
Posted : 7 Mar, 2018 12:16 PM

You have to date before you can decide to court. Dating does not infer romantic intentions. For instance, you may have gone on a date with your female friends for pizza and a movie. No romance, just freindship or what Christians might call fellowship. Do that with people you know from church. Eventually you may meet someone you want to date with the hope of getting to know better such that romantic feelings develop and which may lead to marriage.

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Courting
Posted : 18 Mar, 2018 03:56 PM

This thread has been helpful to me, because I was not raised in a Christian home, and although I am old enough to know better, I simply don't. What the thread has taught me is that I should know my own boundaries, and I should know the boundaries of the girl I wish to court. Thanks. Just some advise, don't be going out alone, to secret places, the tempter works against us, and is out to hurt and to destroy us.

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Chioniso

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Courting
Posted : 5 Apr, 2018 04:14 AM

I second you sister Lovely. Let us be different from those of the world. Lets serve our God faithfully. There is everything we want in the house of our Father. Lets keep our bounderies. Always be reminded that our body is the temple of the Lord until the time when married. Because most of the men want to use christianity as the weakest point to attack Godly women.

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