Author	Thread: Stereotyped communication or lack of
1jon310 View Profile History	Stereotyped communication or lack of Posted : 4 Nov, 2017 10:51 AM Hey Guys: There are some men on here that are able to communicate their thoughts as well as their feelings. The stereotype is that women complain that men cannot do these things and wish that the men would. It has been my experience that when women are confronted with a man that can express themselves, the women are fascinated at first but then realize that they (the women) do not know how to handle such a man and then go back to what they are familiar with (ie. non-expressive men). What has been your experience and how have you found paths around this? (I do not expect a lot of replies because there are so many men that do fit the stereotype.) LOL Post Reply
View Profile History	Stereotyped communication or lack of Posted : 4 Nov, 2017 11:13 AM I too have experienced this strange progression of "what a strange creature I must study it.... oh no its a monster run run RUNNNN" but then again that might just be unique to me... hehehe Post Reply
View Profile History	Stereotyped communication or lack of Posted : 4 Nov, 2017 11:27 AM But being slightly more serious, yes a lot of woman have this fantasy of the "sensitive sharing man" then when they actually meet one that is not just faking it to get to them they are totally shocked and go back to safe predictable stoneface that in his lack of communication at least can help her fool herself into thinking that men are "a certain way". Everyone claims to want a little chaos in their lives but in practice they want to vacation there instead of move in the same way all woman wants a "man that makes her laugh" but no one flocks after court jesters. Post Reply
1jon310 View Profile History	Stereotyped communication or lack of Posted : 4 Nov, 2017 11:30 AM Rambo, I am not surprised that you have experienced this also. I think that as much as people complain about stereotypes they still want those stereotypes to be true because they are comfortable with their stereotypes. Even anarchists fit in with other anarchists and follow the group. Of course that is ironic in itself. Some just do not fit any mold not because they are rebelling against anything but just because God did not use a mold to begin with. Post Reply
Ocean17 View Profile History	Stereotyped communication or lack of Posted : 4 Nov, 2017 12:01 PM I hope you don't mind my popping in. Well it's my 2 favorite men on this site thus far. I love you guys!!! Why? You guys have a point of view of your own. It's not what you think a woman want's to hear or rehashing of the bible. It is sometimes raw, unfiltered but I would rather that then fake. Not all guys communicate by speaking. But this site is anonymous, please share your thoughts guys. We can all learn so much from each other. Guys, I would so enjoy to sit around a kitchen table (best conversations) with many cups of tea and chat with you. I have so many questions/topics to ask/discuss. Post Reply
View Profile History	Stereotyped communication or lack of Posted : 4 Nov, 2017 01:54 PM Well I don't communicate all that well verbally though, I can either make my mouth or my mind work at the same time, if I try both at the same time I either stutter or utter nonsense comes out sometimes. Typing things out is similar to thinking for me so it's just so much easier... also you get to edit things after you have typed them ending up with me basically more crafting my responses than it being purely raw. That said though I generally run as far away from deception as possible questioning everything twice at least just to make sure. The effect of that is I tend to simply speak the truth on reflex and sometimes have profoundly uncomfortable "that sounded SO much better/funnier in my head" moments where I sound even to myself like a complete moron for a few minutes. The problem is even though in person I'm usually the silent observer when I get annoyed I have a tendency to go for the throat of the argument and finish the irritation off so I can move on with things which sometimes leaves me embarrassed due to a misstep. One thing with woman that has so far annoyed me the most is the almost uniquely female tendency to talk about a problem rather than fixing it.... I just cannot stand complaining without fixing it makes me twitchy. With this logic all leftists must have ultra-female brains because all they ever do is sit in committees and blather about how terrible things are going while stuffing their pockets So basically yeah I can communicate everything well enough it's just that I communicate too much on one hand and on the other can only stand so much "talking without actually saying anything".... which is something that makes most mainstream church services slightly torturous because the pastor meanders on about something for hours that I could have summed up in a single paragraph.... sigh, I'm going to need a wife that is either mostly enraptured by what I say or will be able to follow my train of thought without us getting angry at each other... second being preferable of course if possible but only God knows what's best for me.... I can completely understand how some men simply don't talk to woman more than absolutely necessary though, especially the energetically sensitive "I'm right when I feel right" type, they just plain exhaust me thb. Post Reply
1jon310 View Profile History	Stereotyped communication or lack of Posted : 4 Nov, 2017 06:55 PM O17: I would like sitting around the table also. With both of you or even a larger group. I am not a big talker like Rambo (Teasing you Brother and adding my own sarcasm) but I do enjoy verbal give and take. So many things especially the Bible are very clear in my head as I take it as it is written that I do not need to explain it to myself but other people have questions that encourage me to go deeper to explain it to them. On one of the paid Christian dating sites they have get regional get togethers that anyone can attend. It would be fun if we all could do that but I know that it is not practice for everyone as many of us are so far apart. Post Reply
1jon310 View Profile History	Stereotyped communication or lack of Posted : 4 Nov, 2017 07:04 PM Rambo: Other than enjoying the verbal conversations I am right there with you on the rest of what you wrote. I have learned to just listen to people when they complain repetitively about something without giving my opinion or trying to fix the situation, to a point anyway. But at a certain point every person needs to take action. I have little patience for endless complaining. Especially from people of the Kingdom who have so much to be grateful for. I have even learned how to partake in woman speak in regard to saying I'm sorry. That took an effort to wrap my mind around. (If anyone does not know what I am talking about then ask and I will share) Where are the other communicative men at? Surely there is more then just Rambo and myself? Come on men.... don't be shy...... Post Reply
View Profile History	Stereotyped communication or lack of Posted : 7 Nov, 2017 10:22 AM Idk.. Maybe its bcoz i love cake.. But cakes can never replace my regular meals.. Maybe ppl have a tendency to keep coming back to what they think is normal.. Bcoz awesomeness is juz for special occasions.. bcoz its not something wer used to? Not sure if i made sense though Post Reply
1jon310 View Profile History	Stereotyped communication or lack of Posted : 8 Nov, 2017 06:32 PM CL: It has been said that "it is better to travel with expectancy then to arrive at your destination." You have some of the answer there for sure. Most people have a fantasy of what they want but when they find themselves confronted with the fulfillment of that fantasy they are either scared by it because they do not know where to go next or they realize that while they were focusing on the fantasy they forgot to prepare themselves for the actualization of the fantasy. Finding themselves unprepared for the situation they retreat to the old and familiar complacency. Post Reply