Author	Thread: Do you actually 'look forward to' a first date with someone?
Admin	Do you actually 'look forward to' a first date with someone? Posted : 4 Oct, 2017 10:48 PM Do you actually 'look forward to' a first date with someone who is, by most definitions - almost 'a total stranger'? Or would you prefer having a chance to 'get to know someone' in a 'less focused situation' - like being a part of a group of friends just meeting up for pizza on friday night? In which situation would you feel that you probably would have the better opportunity in which to get a glimpse of the prospective partner's actual personality, better in? a straight up 'date'? or the scenario of a 'casual social situation'? Post Reply
View Profile History	Do you actually 'look forward to' a first date with someone? Posted : 5 Oct, 2017 05:51 AM Given that I am a totally dumb in group situations and mostly just sit there looking at everyone.... no it's not conducive to dating. Mostly because of my ADHD, all the voices (both fore and background) come at me at the exact same volume so I eventually give up on understanding more than a few words in any given conversation.... also I can only cope with a fast changing conversation if there are no more than three people involved. But yes I kinda look forward to a first date I guess, it has a bit of adventure to it. Post Reply
View Profile History	Do you actually 'look forward to' a first date with someone? Posted : 5 Oct, 2017 07:00 AM Rambo: I understand... I sit back and listen, just my nature... I don't know that much about ADHD... know a bit about Asperger's... the reason I mention this is that the two sound like the elusively vague concept of 'the same but different'...lol It sounds like you're saying that your mind grabs bits and pieces of conversations and then draws those bits inward to consider and contemplate the 'intricacies' of the deeper aspects of the particular comments... meanwhile the conversation moves along and when you draw back into the awareness of the conversation - it has all sort of 'passed you by'... I find that 'deep thinkers' tend to be what the general populace might call 'loners' - not because we are anti-social in any way, but rather that we are content with less 'external stimulus' because we find 'the journeys upon the paths of our own independent thought' to be enough to entertain us. I am sometimes 'lonely'... but I am very seldom bored - which I think some people confuse with the idea of 'being lonely'... Some people seem to need constant stimulus - like an infant with a mobile above their crib... it doesn't need to really have any 'substance' to it - but it entertains... and that is 'good enough'... Others are not so... preferring a challenge to evaluate and expand the boundaries of their own thoughts and understandings of the world around them... of the world within them... these are 'the deep thinkers'... you sir, are simply 'a deep thinker'... May I offer a gentle word to you, that you perhaps should be more willing to let go of the negatives that relate to some vagaries of someone's so called 'professional opinion/evaluation' and simply find the beauty of all the beautiful intricacies of who you are, just as you are... For every perceived 'failing' or 'shortcoming' that categorizing or cubby-holeing might seek to establish - there are a million potentialities that may be waiting to spring forth from those supposed 'failings/shortcomings'... Consider being far more 'pleased with the person you are'... than to worry about someone else's idea of 'what you aren't'... God bless you... with many a beautiful day... some of life's greatest beauty is in knowing you are a part of it... be bless... : ) Post Reply
1jon310 View Profile History	Do you actually 'look forward to' a first date with someone? Posted : 5 Oct, 2017 06:49 PM If I did not look forward to meeting with someone then why would I take the time to meet them? If the anxiety level is elevating prior to meeting someone then it is my alarm that I am expecting too much of that person or even of myself. Time to pray and put it into God's hands. Really it should be fun. If nothing else I think that it is fun to see what the person looks like in person. I have yet to meet with anyone that looks like their profile picture. I use it as an opportunity for both of us to try new places to eat and new places to explore. That way we are both on equal ground and can talk about what is now new in "our" lives equally. What is not fun about that? Post Reply
View Profile History	Do you actually 'look forward to' a first date with someone? Posted : 5 Oct, 2017 08:35 PM 1jon310: very nice... I like the idea of a place new to both people... excellent points... I enjoyed reading your reply : ) Post Reply
View Profile History	Do you actually 'look forward to' a first date with someone? Posted : 7 Oct, 2017 08:09 PM I identify with Rambo on the subject of dates, noisy enviroments with many distractions are not conducive to good conversation, well according to the personality type anyway, it also depends on context, generally speaking you are not going to set youself up to fail so narrowing choices helps, I look forward to dates when there is no pressure to be anything other than myself, being asked to swim in an ocean that is foreign to me invites fear and trepidation although being out of your comfort zone in itself can be exhilerating, so I think a few rules with the option to tear said rule book up is a good start to a successful date. Post Reply