Author	Thread: At what point do men know when they met the one?
Obediencetotheword View Profile History	At what point do men know when they met the one? Posted : 22 Aug, 2017 07:29 PM Maybe this is a proper forum where we can learn from each other, no judgment. 😇 I surmise that the longer a guy has been on this site, the shorter their patience is, which somewhat spoils what a woman ia looking for, connection. Connection is something that takes more than days of exchanging messages or maybe months, if the replies are not prompt. So please, feel free to share your thoughts on this topic. Thank you and may God be with us, granting us all wisdom in using this site, being mindful that we are brothers and sister in Christ, first of all. Post Reply
View Profile History	At what point do men know when they met the one? Posted : 23 Aug, 2017 12:20 AM "At what point do men know when they met the one?" I've read about people who knew right from the start, but I don't think most people know it immediately. I think, it takes some time. It takes me at least 3-4 months to get to know someone. I have a checklist. If I could ask you about 100-200 questions, I could probably tell you right away. "the longer a guy has been on this site, the shorter their patience is" I don't understand what makes you come to that conclusion. I have been on this site for over a year, I think. Does that mean I am extremely impatient? lol :D Post Reply
View Profile History	At what point do men know when they met the one? Posted : 23 Aug, 2017 05:41 AM Connection is fine, the problem is the woman expecting to form a proper connection with a man perfect for her before the years of marriage that CREATES that connection. Life is not a fairy tale of instant-connections, anyone that THINKS they instantly connect on a deeper level is mistaking strong sexual attraction for love. Yes you can form a emotional bond to someone without doing the proper work but it's always a sham of a sort, and illusion where being in love is confused with actual love. What you describe is NOT connection, it's biased superficial affection. It's playing at love in what the girl (wrongly) assumes is a safe enviroment and then having the luxary of breaking the "bond" when she gets bored with it. It's not that men's patience gets less with woman, it's that the games get tiresome and all the fruitless pandering gets irksome. Playing at love is the luxery of immature girls who get away with it because the boys have not gotten disallusioned with them yet and allow their hormones to rule them with a "do whatever the girls want to get to the girls" tyrrany. It's that the boys become men and loose interest in girls, that they start preferring woman instead because the girls while still pretty are just too irritating. The "one" is not that one person that makes you giddy wth glee, anyone can do that under the right conditions. The "one" is that one person that make life bearible, the one that does not insecurely keep testing you to make sure of you, the one you can be emotionally safe in. When men grow to start to understand this on the surface it seems like their patience run out, in reality they start looking for the signs that the woman will not be a "one" and try to eliminate the bad options before it gets emotionally messy. They start being smart insted of victims of female whims, no one is so strong that he can indefinitely stand having his heart played with because no one he interacts with takes the endevour seriously. And no I have never met a"one", a few times I had hoped but that was wishful thinking at best. Post Reply
Obediencetotheword View Profile History	At what point do men know when they met the one? Posted : 23 Aug, 2017 06:50 AM Thanks silver, at least that validates my understanding that even for a guy, a few days is not enough to know if the girl is "the one." Without giving too much information, it scared me that a guy I messaged for a few days, who never really asked any question but said my profile says it all, said he is too lonely and could not wait any longer. And Rambo, you are correct, there was no connection there. Do not lose hope, but maybe, try to find the beauty in a Christian woman and soon you'll be attracting the right one. Well, am walking away with three to four months, which sounds reasonable. Thanks for the replies. ☺ Post Reply
View Profile History	At what point do men know when they met the one? Posted : 23 Aug, 2017 09:59 AM Lonelyness can cause people to do very rash things. Actual strong attractions only happen after actual interactions like a few hours of chating either in person or over video call, however those attractions sometimes mostly just physical/sensual and blind you to who the other person truely is. Post Reply
View Profile History	At what point do men know when they met the one? Posted : 23 Aug, 2017 01:19 PM Well to answer your question outright would assume I agree with the concept of " the one". The truth is there is no "the" one. However, this is a good thing. God tells us what to look for in a Godly spouse, not who to look for. There will be many who qualify based on God's parameters. And, He has left the choice up to you! Isn't that better than God predetermining who you will love? If it was a choice made for you, could it really be considered love? I think not. Love is a choice made daily, accepting people as they are whether they deserve it or not. It involves hard work, compromise, sacrifice, and trust. That is not something that comes naturally. So, there are many ones that you can choose from. But, it takes time to develop all the things that love encompasses in a relationship leading to marriage. It would depend on how much time you spent really getting to know each other. So, if you and the person whom you are considering are open and honest and share a lot in a short time period, it may happen sooner. Of course time spent with each other in person is essential in finding out if you can actually put up with the person. You can spend months talking with someone long distance, and think they are someone you could potentially be with. Then when you meet them in person and see how they act with others, your opinion might change. Therefore the time frame depends on how much time is spent together, how it is spent, and how much is shared. Post Reply
View Profile History	At what point do men know when they met the one? Posted : 23 Aug, 2017 03:26 PM the great thing about love is that it has many courses and knowing which one you are in helps, making life bearable is often true but making life sweeter is the goal that everyone desires, some times it is easy to mistake an autonomic response ie a sudden rush of hormones with a feeling of true and deep affection, getting past a hormonal attraction and closer to a truer reality is hopefully the way of wisdom, that usually means accepting faults and still loving regardless, the same as you would love a child or even a pet, the sins don't affect the depth of your love just the way you deal with area at fault. before any says am I equating women with animals the answer is NO, I love my cat very much and wouldn't dare insult my cat with such an accusation, he's had a hard life already, 2 divorces and a speying have tamed his amorous flourishes... no active hormones to speak of.... Post Reply
Obediencetotheword View Profile History	At what point do men know when they met the one? Posted : 23 Aug, 2017 09:51 PM I sure appreaciate the wisdom shared, Jcmasters & OtisDesigns. I gather love & logic over hormones, & that is refreshing. Chivalry is not dead afterall! There is hope that we will not end up like the cat! Hahaha! 😃 Post Reply
View Profile History	At what point do men know when they met the one? Posted : 15 Sep, 2017 09:18 PM Well... it is just a pragmatic thought of a pragmatic girl... Attraction is important if the relationship is supposed to evolve to a marriage. And yes, it does mess things around, quite often. And yes, people do play games and take advantage of power that comes from knowing that someone is attracted to you. Putting that all aside, I have a small golden rule... If I get to know a guy enough that I also know his defects and faults, and I can tolerate them and still like the guy regardless, than there is a pretty good chance that guy might be right for me. I would like to hear your thoughts on that. Post Reply
View Profile History	At what point do men know when they met the one? Posted : 30 Sep, 2017 04:06 PM fah79o, Allow me to respond to your whole thought process. I do believe that there's definitely some importance to physical attraction, and unfortunately it's also something I fall prey to myself. Though I don't believe that it is necessary at the start. And, history proves it. We often times get so caught up in looking for someone who we consider attractive to us, that we often lose sight of what is more essential. God tells us what to look for in His word. Physical appearance is not part of those descriptions. God is more concerned with the content of character than outward beauty. We should look to be evenly yolked, to find someone who shares our beliefs. Also of importance, is to find someone who shares a similar desired lifestyle. For example, if you are someone who desires to be on the mission field, you should also find someone who desires the same. If you are someone who wants to be a housewife/ stay at home mom, than you should find someone who can support you. Some shared interests and passions should also be present. So, in conclusion. The main things to consider; are they a follower of Jesus, do you share the same beliefs, do you desire the same type of future, and do you have enough in common that you enjoy each other's company. If all these things are present, physical attraction will develop as intimate knowledge of each other is increased. When you truly begin to love someone, you can accept them for who they are flaws and all. So, yes that much is a good indication. So long as the rest is there. Post Reply
View Profile History	At what point do men know when they met the one? Posted : 30 Sep, 2017 04:07 PM fah79o, Allow me to respond to your whole thought process. I do believe that there's definitely some importance to physical attraction, and unfortunately it's also something I fall prey to myself. Though I don't believe that it is necessary at the start. And, history proves it. We often times get so caught up in looking for someone who we consider attractive to us, that we often lose sight of what is more essential. God tells us what to look for in His word. Physical appearance is not part of those descriptions. God is more concerned with the content of character than outward beauty. We should look to be evenly yolked, to find someone who shares our beliefs. Also of importance, is to find someone who shares a similar desired lifestyle. For example, if you are someone who desires to be on the mission field, you should also find someone who desires the same. If you are someone who wants to be a housewife/ stay at home mom, than you should find someone who can support you. Some shared interests and passions should also be present. So, in conclusion. The main things to consider; are they a follower of Jesus, do you share the same beliefs, do you desire the same type of future, and do you have enough in common that you enjoy each other's company. If all these things are present, physical attraction will develop as intimate knowledge of each other is increased. When you truly begin to love someone, you can accept them for who they are flaws and all. So, yes that much is a good indication. So long as the rest is there. Post Reply

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