"To be a good friend or partner" as I see it, one would seek to be caring, compassionate, hard working, honest, have integrity, be truthful, and in general have nice moral values.
As a friendship proceeds and trust develops, open communication about a wide variety of things is important. In a close friendship or marriage, being able to talk to one another effectively is key. I think romantic love, ideally ought to come after friendship, not before.
To be a good partner/spouse, I think having common goals, interests, and morals is key, as is having the ability to trust one another and communicate openly about even personal matters.
* Do not gossip. This is a basic. I don't know any man who likes when women talk about him behind his back. :)
* If you promise something, do what you promised. If you think you might not do it, then don't promise it. But if you already promised, then it's important you tell us in time.
* Always give a chance to explain.
* Do you want to know the truth? Women care a lot about how they look, but most men don't. So, as long as you are wearing something nice and modest, chances are we think you're pretty. Whether you spent 15 minutes in front of the mirror or 5 hours, preparing, we often can't tell the difference. So, don't worry about it too much.
* Write a list of good qualities that you can imagine. And then try to work on attaining those good habits and good qualities instead of picking nice clothes and collecting jewelry. That's what the Bible says too -- women should focus on godliness and being good rather than fancy ornaments and expensive clothes and stuff. Of course, it is not a sin to dress up nicely, but the Bible also says, for example, that a woman who lacks discretion is like a ring of gold in a pig's nose. (Proverbs 11:22) If a woman laughs at inappropriate times or burps at the table or puts her foot in her mouth a lot -- those are the things that need work.
* For men, it is really important to feel like they are capable of handling a situation. They can take care of the problem. They know the direction. They can fix the problem. etc. So, when you suggest, "Why don't we ask for help?" sometimes we hear "I don't trust your ability. I think, you are incapable of solving this problem. You are probably not able to do this by yourself, so let's find someone who is better than you and ask them." This is a hearing defect that most men have unfortunately. Deal with it. LOL
* To better understand your friend, you may want to take the MBTI personality test and ask them to take it as well. The results are often very edifying and help you relate to each other better. At least it may explain why you have trouble communicating with someone or why a friendship seems just perfect.
GOD did not say -wives Love your husbands- GOD did say "husbands Love your wives" The women's liberation movement messed a lot of people up! Most people have no idea what GOD wants a healthy relationship to look like. Most girls think they have a passport to act like a guy, and most guys think they should gladly get out of the drivers seat.
To answer your question lets go back to Genesis. After mankind sinned GOD started telling people of the way things were going to be (Before the fall GOD had designed the earth to be completely different.) To the woman GOD said "...Yet your desire and longing will be for your husband,
And he will rule [with authority] over you and be responsible for you.�
Basically that means that a lot of women want to be like a sheep dog and drive from the back. The women's liberation movement taught women that they should find a man that will sit in the drivers seat and be a puppet.
I am going to say something that might shock a lot of people "Women are moody" and that mood can change 50-100 times per day. I am not saying that the opinion of a woman is not important because GOD has designed women to see things that men do not see.
To answer your question more directly concerning how to better develop friendship with guys "figure out who GOD designed you to be, and be that person" Fortunately GOD gave humanity an instruction manual. I am going to recommend a resource, unfortunately the resource is from a non-messianic jew (which means that the guy believes in GOD but does not believe that JESUS CHRIST is the MESSIAH) therefore unless the man accepts JESUS, the man will not receive eternal life...and that is a shame. With that said the jewish people have done a fantastic job at developing relationships. The name of the book is called "kosher sex" and despite the title the book is about relationships.
Being friends can be developed over time. But there are few men from my experience, who keep women friends as friends nothing more than that. And if you are not yet attached to anyone, I don't see anything wrong befriending your opposite sex. If the man truly appointed to you is what you expect to come and shine, there is no harm in waiting while doing what you ought to do to become the right person for that man. One day.
