Are any of you really serious or just looking for entertainment or playing the odds on the naive? I am within a profession that requires me to quickly read people. I must say, that I started on this site July 24, 2016. Thus far, I find that many which contacted me are not honest or nursing a broken heart from a past relationship. HALT !!!! DO not pass go until the past relationship is out of your system. Next, WHY ARE YOU SEPARATED as a Christian seeking a mate? You are either married or singled. Even more so, unless your divorce is recognized by the two reasons for a recognized divorce, know that only disgrace is being placed on the body of Christ. It is NOT the good Lord's fault that you were not wise when you decided to marry without wisdom and ended up in a financial hot-mess, arguments, or disagreements as where the union is heading. What is this junk about seeking the perfect mate? We are living on planet Earth .... not Jupitior. You must already be whole in Christ and seek someone else who is whole. You as a believer is accountable for all your actions as well as leading astray the flock. So, please do not use this site as a means to be a wolf to devour the sheep. DO BE UPFRONT FOR WHAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR. It is better to have less favorites, winks, or communications, then to have a mountain sludge. The biggest turn off is saying that you want kids and then I reply that I do not want kids, to receive a message that you changed your mind and no longer want kids. Naaaaaahhhh fellas, most women are naive.... there are a few of us still out here that look beyond a car, boat, job title, or address in determining an ideal suitor. Be nice ... be honest ... above all ... be serious about what you are seeking. Should you need emotional counseling to get the past relationship out of your system, then, do know that MOST women are not therapist and full healing of the heart should be sought before attempting anything new. I will be honest, if this is what we Christian women have to continue to deal with, then , I am just fine continuing to live my life Single and enjoying my friends, family, and neighbors.
Ok, a couple of things... first, how did you start on this site in the future? Today is July 2, 2016, but you said you started here July 24, 2016. I expect an honest typing error.
Secondly, you said, "It is NOT the good Lord's fault that you were not wise when you decided to marry without wisdom and ended up in a financial hot-mess, arguments, or disagreements as where the union is heading."
Do you not believe in free will, that people can choose to walk away from the truth after believing it for many years? After 25 years of following Christ, my wife walked away from everything we believed and is now living with another man, BEFORE our divorce is final. She was a Godly woman when I met her and chose to marry her, but she has chosen to deny the truth.
I took my pictures down and lost interest very quickly from the quality of persons reaching out to me. My duration on the site was short lived. Because I do not know how to delete an account, my only option was to change the geographic location which my profile exists. I am back today to ensure that I didn't miss anything.
Before, I go permanently, I want to express to you and others that divorce is something God hates which is written in the bible. So, it is wisdom to ensure that the right mate is chosen for life should anyone be blessed enough to be married again. I believe it to be true because I know first hand what it does to each person as well as the children and families that are close to the couple. There is a bitterness that can sit in as well as a huge crack within the family foundation which is created.
We as people (grouping society as a whole) are just becoming less and less committed because the glitter of society and freedom to do as one pleases is more attractive than raising a family within a healthy environment and doing fun activities that are deemed decent. Somehow, people are fooled to believe that they are MISSING out on things by being with only one person for life. I personally know of the pains that it causes everyone and thankfully is healed. Character usually do not change for the worse over time even if that person do not go to church or worship regularly. Time only reveals what is already THERE. The book of James says that God does not tempt a man but a man is carried away after given into lust. This means that anything that anyone do that is contradictory to the ways of God originate from a desire (whether hidden or revealed) that is already there. So, when cheating occurs, it does so because the lust was ALREADY there. Not even an ant can be hidden by a tree shadow for long because the shadow will eventually Move as the sun goes from East to West.
The biggest reason why Christians divorce are because one partner is NOT totally honest (with first themselves and their partner) as life changes around them, thus making it impossible for the other partner to become aware until it is virtually too late. The other reason is because their mate was NOT properly qualified before getting hitched. In both cases, there was a false illusion of being evenly yoked. The couple fails to grow together as a unit and fail to keep the world outside their marriage.....
..... I wish you and others the very best. We all have different experiences. I tried this website because I assumed that the quality of suitors interested would be different. I am NOT big-headed, but, I am a sexy curvaceous woman who is just happened to be blessed with also with the 4 Bs (to include brains & beauty). Somehow, my profile attracted broken spirits which needs healing that is not ready or whole enough for a full relationship on one hand, and on the other hand, many persons that say that I am wanted "badly" and I am what they been looking for some time now within 24 hours of messaging .... I've learned from the Holy Spirit (not man or anything written) that a woman should never minister one-on-one to a man; therefore, I quickly run when I come across the discomfort.
All TOO SCARY!
If there is a man out there for me, or others like me, then, I am going to trust the craziest thing ever, that the good Lord send him directly to our doors with iced lemonade from Panera Bread. Meanwhile, I am going to keep working and being active within the community. Be blessed!
~ Miss Shelia - The Win - Win Creator of Central Florida specializing in credit repair, mortgages, and real estate ~
MissyMe40Plus, there is a significant amount of wisdom in your comment, as well as in your follow-up comment later. I share another commenter's view on the apparently typo regarding the day of your post. And if you are off the site, you may not read my reply, but maybe it will benefit someone else.
Persons need to put God, the highest righteous authority, first. And when necessary, seek help from appropriate professional counselors, ministers, friends, etc., rather than getting into the wrong relationships or seeking to make a virtual stranger a counselor.
And, in most cases when a divorce occurs, I think there is at least a bit of blame on both sides. If nothing else, the least guilty party made a mistake by rushing into marriage with someone they knew not well. It's good to know a person's attitudes about finances, having and raising children, relocation, morals, etc., as well as having and/or establishing several common interests before marriage.
It would be wonderful if persons took time to get to know one another as friends, develop a relationship slowly, and make romance the caboose rather than the engine.
Once married, it would be great if persons communicated openly and honesty with one another, sought to settle differences fairly, and to seek counseling from appropriate unbiased sources when necessary, in addition to praying together (and individually).
But there are no perfect people, and no one perfect obeys God's perfect direction.
Since it is likely the poster has left - otherwise I would explain a few things to her. I will explain a few things about online dating people should keep in mind.
One of the biggest problems people have with online dating is thinking they will date a better quality of people than they were before - like disney princes/princess like. Online dating can't promise anything. If they do - something is up. Like a scam.
What online dating can do is help narrow the field to various desirable traits from the local area of people who do decide to join their site, but you also have to keep in mind that Online dating sites do not monitor for accuracy on a profile. People are going to lie from time to time - to make themselves more desirable. Especially if they feel like they haven't dated in a while.
People who are top of the dating market - aren't going to be there for long or at all on online dating sites for the most part. So, traits in real life dating that make someone desirable are usually warning signs for online dating. Mostly because a really hot girl/guy usually means a person hunting for casual sex online or selling sex, but that is a guideline. One that is quite unlikely for site such as this one for obvious reasons. You can find great looking people online and they just have bad luck in the dating dept because everyone thinks they are taken.
Throwing a fit because people feel like they are tired of being single and trying to get out of it or have problems of their own -- is just going to make you madder and madder. There is always going to be people online trying to find some quick way to get in a relationship (and blame the relationship when it fails rather than fix their problems before adding more stress to their lives). Best thing you can do is ignore them and move on.
Serious people do exist - it is just you have to keep in mind they aren't going to play games or do things that are extremely noticeable compared to the non-serious. Their writing is often very non-noticeable and cuts directly to the point and are often plain questions. They aren't going to joke around - they just want to date or get to know you.
The other problem with online dating is it favors the non-serious by giving them the upper hand when it comes to dating as they are likely to be more social oriented than the serious are and when virtually all interaction is socially oriented online - it is a total loss for most serious daters but not all.
It also doesn't favor traditional dating like guy ask girl (there is too many options to narrow it down for either side, but any help is greatly appreciated.
Most woman I have seen that are close to me are not serious at all but probably think they are. They think at best that a handful of profile pics and bare profile is the way to go, they want to expose nothing of themselves and then have men clamouring for attention because that's how dating usually works, others do not even have a single pic with that bare profile.
Unfortunately for them men are visual creatures yes but also usual physical dating also includes pheromones and the fact that no one EVER looks exactly like their photo's. They also think for some reason that men want to talk to random woman simply for the sake of it.... no.... we do not.... it's incredibly boring and if it seems to be happening in real life it's only because the woman in question is still being seen through a haze of chemicals and hormones and nothing she says matters anyway since he will be forgetting pretty much all of it before tomorrow when the intoxication wears off.
Even the woman with proper profiles do not seem serious, they state random vague things without ever being able to follow any of it through to any proper logical conclusion. But then again maybe most woman actually have no proper clue whatsoever what it is they want and compensate with wishful thinking and fantasy. Or maybe I am just too serious who cares.
Doing online dating and having it actually work means serious honesty, no "if you want to know anything ask me"'s.... if you show me nothing how exactly am I supposed to know if I want to know anything about it? If you are not 15 any more act like it, get some courage and ACTUALLY try instead of playing it safe... no man wants a coward for a wife.
Sorry for your frustrations and I think most of us honestly looking share them to some extent.
I think people and relationships are about the most difficult and mysterious things to understand in life. Relational injuries can creep into our present relationships from far in the past. Bringing suspicion, anger, fear, judgement, punishment, etc., - even injuries not related to romance from early childhood. I would be cautious believing that you can read people quickly by what's on their profile or even after many hours of conversation. I have seen great starts that turn on a dime to the polar opposite.
I wish this were easier like arranged marriages from godly parents on both sides but that's not the world we live in anymore. We must study to show ourselves approved and use the wisdom derived from it to make the best choices.
Blessings and may God grant you patience and understanding as you continue your search.
There is always trusting God. Knowing God never changes, a thousand years are as one day to the Lord when it is passed, and everything is in order, if somebody had Godly parents, what counts there is God, God that inhabits eternity, knows all His works from the beginning, arranging everything for the Godly parents of Isaac and Jacob, as everything had to be by the Lord, Abraham described as the father of us all.
Taking no thought for our life is always good advice, having no high opinion of ourselves, focusing more on warning words from God, how the righteous are scarcely saved, and to not consider people and relationships as mysterious at all, God is the mystery, and if we please Him, even our enemies will be in peace with us.
Proverbs 16:7 When a man's ways please the LORD, he maketh even his enemies to be at peace with him.
I know exactly what you are talking about. You do sometimes have to ask yourself, why would someone be trying to enter into a dating scene... I don't think that is fair to you no matter what situation is because you are genuinely looking for something real and you are putting your time, effort, and emotion in that. Then for him to end it like that with you by calling you out that way just shows the real heart underneath it. But I understand what you are saying because I have had similar experiences if not worse! What is interesting though even those types of experiences teach you to be cautious and definitely pray about it. I think whats even more frustrating is the dishonesty. I mean I know from my own personal experience of how hard it is to deal with my own personal issues if I am not at a good place in my life, I wouldn't put my stresses and burdens on someone else, specifically a potential romantic involvement with...
