Author Thread: To start a conversation or not?
brnidgrl777

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To start a conversation or not?
Posted : 2 Apr, 2016 05:21 PM

Not sure if I'm supposed to wait for a guy to write me, or should I start the conversation?

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To start a conversation or not?
Posted : 3 Apr, 2016 12:13 AM

In real life you want the guy to start it. This online stuff is not real life and so there is no actual expectation. I would hate to think I missed my true love because I did not click the right boxes, but she saw me and said nothing.



That would not be right, so signal any man here you like!



Not that this is an advertisement or anything.

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brnidgrl777

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To start a conversation or not?
Posted : 3 Apr, 2016 12:30 PM

So, just go for it, No Regrets, right. Thanks Anglicostal. BTW - I like your user name. God bless.

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To start a conversation or not?
Posted : 5 Apr, 2016 07:59 PM

"not real life"?

oh wow.....

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To start a conversation or not?
Posted : 15 Apr, 2016 09:42 AM

Hi brnidgrl777,



I'd say start the conversation, guys can be shy too, if you like him or are interested in his character, say Hi and what you liked about his profile, a bit of flattering critique is a real ice breaker.



Hope you found my insight useful.



OD

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TC2c

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To start a conversation or not?
Posted : 23 Apr, 2016 08:37 AM

You know the old saying, you snooze, you lose. I don't see anything wrong with it, especially online. Since you ladies usually get a lot of messages, and disregard most, I think a lot of guys gave up messaging.

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To start a conversation or not?
Posted : 30 Apr, 2016 05:00 PM

Most of the "women" who contact me straight out are 28-35, look like a supermodel, have an education that does not match their employment (e.g., high school and nurse), are either 4'6" or 6'0", are top heavy, and they tell me how handsome I am. They also most likely reside in Africa in real life and are 55 and male.



They have names like angel224 as their account keeps getting banned.



So.. if you are going to reach out, be prepared to work past a certain level of skepticism. Ladies, quite honestly I would think that reaching out and getting ignored might be a lesson in how hard it is to reach out and be ignored.



At least be courteous when you decide to reject a man's overture unless he is rude or boorish. He is your Christian brother.

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brnidgrl777

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To start a conversation or not?
Posted : 6 May, 2016 04:10 PM

yes. thank you. I appreciate the advice. very helpful.

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To start a conversation or not?
Posted : 25 May, 2016 09:32 AM

Good answers guys!



Absolutely write him. There's nothing morally wrong with that. It has been a cultural issue in some cultures, but I can't think of any Biblical reason why a woman can't initiate the conversation. It's not like your trying to be his spiritual leader by saying hi first.

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To start a conversation or not?
Posted : 10 Jun, 2016 06:01 PM

I have wondered this too... do you initiate or not? How would a guy know if you are interested ? Does a guy like it when a girl seems interested and would like to strike up a conversation?

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Posted : 11 Jun, 2016 06:48 AM

Hi godlywoman4ever,



Good questions!



1. You ask, "I have wondered this too... do you initiate or not?"

I think the guys here are in agreement, YES! Go for it!



2. You as, "How would a guy know if you are interested?"

Ah, this one gets a bit more complicated. I'm not saying all guys are as dense as me, but the research indicates that guys do not pick up on "signals" that women intentionally send.



In your own way of communicating, you may be saying, "I'm interested in getting to know you better," while the guy is hearing, "Lovely weather we're having today isn't it" to which he replies, "It's going to rain here," leaving you believing that he isn't interested, which may not be the case at all. There was simply a miscommunication due to gender differences.



The other guys would have to chime in on this one, but my own personal preference is that a woman simply say, "I like your profile. I think we have some things in common. Would you like to communicate with me?" That's unambiguous and clearly states to me that the woman is interested in communicating with me. I get messages from women in other countries everyday who do just that.



3. You ask, "Does a guy like it when a girl seems interested and would like to strike up a conversation?"

I'd say this is the same as number 1. I think it's human to like it when other people are interested in us. I see it as being part of the relational character that God built into us. There are many, many, many very shy men here. If you indicate your interest, you're opening the door that many men are too shy to open.



Also, we often take our cues, not rightly so mind you, from culture. Physically beautiful women are only with physically beautiful guys, so when we see a physically beautiful woman here, we think that we're probably not handsome enough to initiate contact, so we don't. I'm guessing the same may apply to women, but I know from speaking to men over the years, and being one myself, that's the way a lot of men think.



I hope that helps.

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