I realize this is not all men, but why do some men like, even love bossy and mean girls? There's a lot of guys who seem to want this in a future wife.
I was told by someone that it was most likely because they want to win their approval that much more because it's difficult to obtain. That was just their theory.
>> I realize this is not all men, but why do some men like, even love bossy and mean girls? There's a lot of guys who seem to want this in a future wife.
I can only speak for myself, but I don't think I'd like to be with someone who's "bossy", although I guess some of it may depend on what different individuals consider a "bossy" person to be. When using the term, I think of someone who's controlling and possessive --hardly the qualities I'd be personally looking for. I suppose a woman would not want those same qualities in a man, either.
I'm not personally aware of anyone who's expressed interest in finding someone else to "boss" him around.
>> I was told by someone that it was most likely because they want to win their approval that much more because it's difficult to obtain. That was just their theory.
Generally a theory has a good amount of evidence to back it up and sustain it. I think I'd just call that speculation. If we want to speculate, we could also say that some people want and look for things that are actually not beneficial for them in any way, i.e. unhealthy physically, emotionally, or both. It ranges from unhealthy things (e.g. drugs) to unhealthy relationships.
If things that are alike tend to stick together, then it's plausible to think that 'broken' people may put effort into finding other 'broken' people to be with. Who knows, maybe it's more about searching for an environment they already consider 'familiar'... but again, just speculation.
>> Thought I'd ask, have a great Thanksgiving. :)
I don't know if this helps at all, but hope you did too
What you were told could very well be. They say we always want what is out of our reach. some guys may consider it a challenge to try to win the affections of someone who is bossy or mean. That's certainly not my style, but it takes all kinds I guess.
I have some alternative thoughts on this as well. I may be way off the mark, but it seems to me that there are things we are consciously drawn to and there are things we seek unconsciously. We hear about it happening a lot with some women who we see going from one destructive or even abusive relationship to another. We wonder why they do this and even why they don't recognize the signs and learn to avoid them. There are probably as many reasons for this pattern as there are people who find themselves in it. I think men are just as susceptible to this as women. We may just not hear about it as often or it may take different forms. Sometimes it's fear of what a change in that patter would mean for our lives. We always prefer what is familiar even if it's misery (remember the Israelites after leaving Egypt, grumbling about the manna). Sometimes they may think someone that's bossy or mean to them is what they deserve in life or that it's the best they can hope for.
Opposites also tend to attract. There are guys that are followers as well as leaders, and I've seen guys that are followers get with girls who are commanding and maybe even demanding. There are guys that are gregarious and outgoing who match up with a very quiet woman (and vice versa).
Long story short, we're broken people, only to be made whole by the salvation offered to us by Christ. We're filled with contradictions and we don't always do what is logical because of our brokenness, our separation from God, and the scars and pain that we retain in our lives and take with us into our relationships.
"why do some men like, even love bossy and mean girls? There's a lot of guys who seem to want this in a future wife."
Nothing could be further from the truth. As a woman, you want to marry someone who acts like a man and has manly traits. Same here. We want a woman who acts feminine. None of us want to marry a soldier woman or mean and bossy woman. haha A very tiny slice of population may want that, and you may have run into some men who were like that. But I think, the majority is very much unlike that. Men very much like a submissive woman. And I don't mean that in a bad way. You know what I mean.
Personally, it's not for me. That's far from what a scriptural woman should be like.
Yet, there may be men out there with that "cowboy" mentality... to break in a horse to conquer it. Not necessarily to win their approval, but to be the victor in breaking the wild spirited.
I just cannot resist adding my 2 cents worth. We all have different personality types and backgrounds that make the difference---However... being bossy AND mean can only mean lack of good character. Strong personalities can be bossy, but that doesn't make a good boss, much less a good friend or person. From my perspective and experience, a bossy, mean woman is devastating. I have zero tolerance for these kind of people across the board....but to be in relationship with one is toxic. Imagine trying to love somebody with all your might....body, soul, and spirit. These "BMW"s are never receptive and always defensive. They may appear to be fancy, and elite, but they are elusive and high maintenance. That said. i love strong women, but that is completely opposite. I hope i just made sense and maybe deeper questions.
...By the way, Scripture says the woman is to "...respect her husband." It is not a "suggestion" it is a command. Don't misinterpret my thinking; NEITHER are to be mean or bossy, rude, condescending or anything less than Christ-Like.
For the same reason so some women want bossy and dominant husbands. It's just the way it is. Some people are dominant and want someone submissive and some people are submissive and want someone dominant. As a submissive guy myself who is looking for a dominant woman, I kinda wish I was more neutral and didn't get turned on by bossy and dominant women.
just my opinion.