Author Thread: Why?
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Why?
Posted : 2 Jul, 2015 02:15 PM

Ok. So I've noticed that, if I post a photo of myself on dating sites, I get men of all ages trying to get me into bed with them (even on Christian dating sites. Usually they are the worst). This time I have not put any photos of myself (only of my art, photography, and my bird), and yet, 99.8% of the messages I get are asking for photos and what I look like. Is it really that important? Can't men just get to know a girl for who she is and not just for what she looks like? If you see what someone looks like, you form preconceived ideas and opinions of the person.



I guess my question is, are photos really so important to men? Can't you just care about the woman for who she is underneath the face? I'd like some light shed on this so that I can understand better. Please?

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CuriousGeorge

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Posted : 2 Jul, 2015 07:31 PM

"Can't you just care about the woman for who she is underneath the face?"



This only happens in real life after/whilst getting to know the person through whatever mutual activity.



When online, we (both men and women) don't know anyone underneath the face. So if we're going to force taking the time off to get to know some random person then we may as well chose a preferable (looks wise) random person.



So yes, photos are really that important in online dating.

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Gourd00

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Posted : 2 Jul, 2015 07:43 PM

No, photos aren't that important. You just keep getting the same kinds of men messaging you, and in order to know if they want to get you into bed, they want to see a photo first. ha.



Seriously, there is a portion on men on all free dating websites that spam messages to a million women hoping that one of them will finally have sex with them. They are desperate, hoping that something in life will pick them up. Since they are the loudest voice, because they message so many women, that is what women think a lot of guys are doing. In reality, they are just a piece of the whole pie, and unfortunately, aren't typically respectful of the women they are pursuing.



I don't need to initially see your picture to get to know you. I would need to see you at some point to know you weren't a dude posing as a woman, as the internet is full of people who are lying about who they are, but the soul is what is the most important part of a person. The body fades over time.



Hang in there. There are a few decent guys out there. And a lot more guys would be worthwhile if they didn't get knocked down by the culture that doesn't give them much to hope for.

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dunravin

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Posted : 3 Jul, 2015 03:07 AM

nice photo of the songbird....beautiful song...sad about the cage...then again perhaps the only way to hear the song is to keep the songbird captive...interesting paradox

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Posted : 3 Jul, 2015 09:50 AM

No photo sends the message that you are either hiding something or are insecure about how you look. And men tend to approach woman firstly based on physical attraction, no man stays for a pretty face and/or good body but for initial contact it's preferable. For myself I feel the need to verify that I am approaching neither a stick nor a balloon.

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Posted : 5 Jul, 2015 03:20 PM

Nice reply gourd00. You are a sensible guy.

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algomaboy

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Posted : 8 Jul, 2015 11:45 AM

I am a hunter, I hunt women to find the right one. As a predator I need to see the ladies pic. It keeps the chase interesting. I am hunting for a good woman. :yay:

Does being hunted concern you? :eat:

See my humor? It is called flirting. A good man will treat you like a lady. It is part of all normal people to find someone the like to procreate. Learn to enjoy the hunt.

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laylakeboss

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Posted : 24 Jul, 2015 08:12 PM

Us guys are more visual than girls, and theres something about us that makes us more...well....confident I guess, when we can see who were talking to.

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jjones4031

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Posted : 7 Aug, 2015 07:25 PM

I'm sorry there are guys out there who can't keep it in their pants. I know it's not my fault, but it's so horrible that someone needs to acknowlege the problem and say sorry. You can't help that you're attractive, but you can continue to post conservative pictures(unlike some people here). Doing such will get rid of a considerable number of creeps.

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Posted : 9 Jan, 2016 01:13 PM

We are all "Visual" and i certainly know that i am. Our receptors vary and i think we are forgetting that. When you look for house or a car, for example, do you look at it and find it attractive? Our receptors kick in by appearance first regardless but it's where we take them that matters. What we perceive is how we think others look at us. Scripture says that man looks to the outward appearance; But God looks to heart of man. We men can get stuck on the "sex appeal" of anything. Personally, i find the look of something to be the start point only. What is it really? What is inside? How does it work? How does it fit and feel? Does it meet my needs and expectations? For a woman to be attractive to me, it takes far far more than pretty (to me). I need pictures. I need to see what your eyes say....what your choices in appearance tell me....Are you in a Pub holding a glass of wine?? A guys arm around you? Wearing a ring? Don't worry about posting a photo of yourself: Worry about how men respond and be certain what you want. I'm looking for heart candy.

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